Breaking News: I Now Offer Coaching!

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Recently, in a group, I was asked to state what industry I’m in. I came up with, “Empowerment speaker (4th-9th grade girls), online course creator (positive parenting), inspirational blogger, songwriter, transition coach.”

That “transition coach” really got me. I thought about all the people I’ve helped with 1-on-1 coaching and realized that I am called in at the times that people are in transition. I am guided to support them, often people I don’t even know, and I work with them and come alongside them until they are fully on the other side and then our time is over. We continue to remain connected but that urgency that came over me, to be there for them through that time, it just disappears as effortlessly as it showed up.

I have followed so many coaches and have been connected to so many coaches and I realize that what I am is something different. There is a spiritual aspect that guides me to those who are meant to work with me and I am following the urgency to show up more in that area. I knew when I was in school for counseling that I was meant to coach and that therapy, although powerful and necessary, was not my route. I was meant to coach, and those who’ve come into my life through various means and routes —and I’ve been blessed to help so many— I now, see and accept that I get to do this and give as well as receive.

I have been coaching people for free for decades and now I walk into this new area of my life where I charge my worth. I know I am worthy, and that I have a gift. I am excited as I reflect back on all the people I’ve helped, all the people I was led to help, and all the ways they are better for it. I am grateful to step into this area of my life and allow all the old beliefs to swirl away and to accept that I now get to be more and do more and show up more in my life. I have desired this for over a decade. And now I am saying, “Yes. I am ready. I am Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist, your Transition Coach.” If you feel led to work with me, I am open to a conversation. Message me on my Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist page. Details coming soon.

Unconditional Self-Love

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I believe I’ve found a key to unconditional self-love.

Image of a woman with long braids looking in the mirror as she puts on a red necklace. Text states: Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist "I am who I am, not what I do. Self-love gets to be unconditional." mdillondesigns.com

This morning, I realized that I redefine myself throughout my day. With each action I perform, I reevaluate myself, and honestly others, too.

I’m a good mom when my child is happy, a bad mom when she’s upset. I’m a good business woman when people are buying my offerings, a bad one when they’re not. I’m a good daughter when I can show up for my parents, a bad one when my priorities take precedence. I am a good wife when I greet him with a smile and dinner on the table, a bad one when I’m exhausted and he cooks dinner…

I realized as I journaled earlier, that my upbringing—not just my family, but the church, the school system, my culture, society, etc.—has taught me to judge myself by my performance, rather than my core values. But when who I am is based on performance, my perception of myself can shift many times in a day. No wonder so many of us are exhausted at the end of the day.

Our perceptions of ourselves come from the beliefs we were taught, and criticisms we’ve witnessed and experienced. We take those judgments in and no longer need others to judge us. We begin to judge ourselves.

This morning I woke up with an awareness of this habit and a commitment to letting it go. I am who I am, AND I do things. I am not the things I do. I get to drop the adjectives—the opinionated labels of good, bad, successful, etc. and just be who I am, and make decisions based on my priorities. I don’t need to keep shifting how I view myself all day, based on my decisions. “Good mom” in the morning because I got her to school on time, “bad mom” in the evening because I picked her up late. Every day, all day, I am a mom. Period. Not good, not bad, not exceptional, not lazy. A mom making choices throughout her day.

It’s freeing to drop that tendency to flip flop on how I view myself… to stop the self-abuse. It’s really about shining light on that internal voice that is evaluating every single thing we do. (I break this down further in my upcoming book, You’re Being Catfished.) We get to see that the punishment and rewards systems we experienced in childhood—with labels of “good girl” and “good boy” as additional rewards for our performance, and their opposites as punishments—taught us that who we are is based on what we do.

One way to know if this is still impacting you is to think of how you label yourself (in your mind or aloud) when you can buy whatever you want vs when you have to check your balance first, when you’re the top performer at work vs when you’ve been demoted, when your post goes viral vs when you get no response, or even when you’ve got your snatched body with your six pack abs vs the keg.

If you love yourself unconditionally, your choices don’t change that fact. You don’t beat yourself up when your performance isn’t at its peak. Your love remains, even when your choices shift.

Maybe you’ve already mastered unconditional self-love. That’s great! For me, this realization is new and eye-opening. I am now aware so I can actively stop judging myself and choose actions that best support my present intentions. I get to separate who I am from what I do. I can be a mom who served dinner at 9, instead of 5 without being a “bad” mom. I can take a day off to replenish, and not feel like a “bad” business owner. I can reply to a text message when it’s convenient for me, rather than interrupt my nap, without calling myself a “bad” friend. And I can extend that kindness to others.

When we are more loving and understanding toward ourselves, we are automatically more understanding and loving toward others. We can drop the opinion-based labels we place on ourselves, make aligned choices, and address ourselves, and others, with love.

Blessings!

Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist

#Proud2BNaturalMe❤️💜💙💚

Surprise! It’s Coming.

You know in the movies—or maybe you’ve experienced it in real life—how people will take a person all over, seeming like they’ve forgotten their special day, only to allow others to set up the details and arrangements for their surprise?

Image of a family celebrating. A surprise party as the guest of honor arrives. Text states: Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist "What if life is happening for you, not to you?" mdillondesigns.com

What if this low time, this uncomfortable period, this odd stage of transition, that seems to be lasting forever, is just the redirect? What if it’s the distraction while the details are being worked out for one of the greatest seasons of our lives?

What if the delays aren’t because we’re doing it wrong, or because we’re out of alignment, or unworthy, but because what we’re seeking to manifest is being lined up and prepared?

What if we’re enough as we are? What if we’re doing enough for this moment? What if we are actually on our way to one of the greatest seasons of our lives?

Life can throw us some painful curve balls. I’m standing at the plate right now, so trust me, I know. It’s not easy when you’re in a tough season. Hugs to you if you can relate.

I’m sharing this perspective shift, because it just came to me. These words comforted me in a moment of sincere WTF. So I’m sharing it with you in case you need a shift, too.

If you’re in a low season, remember seasons are temporary. Even if the details can’t change, we can. We can shift how we view things. we can find a more empowering perspective.

Maybe winter felt extra long, but spring follows. If you’ve been going through for a while, it’s easy to stop expecting good news. Our expectations are powerful. It’s hard to get good flowing when we only expect the bad. Today, I decided good gets to come to me, too.

Let’s begin to look out for good, the way we’ve been conditioned to brace ourselves for bad. Let’s leave a little room for hope, and anticipate some good news for a change. I believe it’s coming. We’re definitely worthy of it. You are worthy and deserving of a good life.

Life gets to be good for all of us. Let’s begin to expect it. ❤️💜💙💚

Blessings,

Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist

New Landings

Some of our most painful endings lead to our most powerful beginnings. We get to shift our perspective. At any moment, we can decide to view our tough times as landings on our way to new levels of blessings. Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist

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