Life Without Shame

I woke from a dream a little while ago and this question was on my mind…

“What would it be like to live life without shame?”

As I often do when I’m unsure how to tackle a subject, I decided to respond through poetry.

It helps me trim out the fluff… the excess… to write in a structured format like 5-7-5. Mimicking haiku, forcing my thoughts to show in lines of five syllables, followed by seven syllables, then five again works for me to get my thoughts out succinctly and intentionally. So I choose it again today. Here are the results…

Meme Image of two women laughing. One with head thrown back smiling to the sky. Text states: "Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist "What would it be like to live without shame?" mdillondesigns.com/blog

To be free from shame?
To not question if I’m “good”
Good wife? Good mom? Wow!

A whole new life. FREE.
No check-ins? Just me living?
No comparison?

To enjoy my life.
Or simply live it my way
Without questioning…

“Was that good enough?”
Would she think so? Or would he?
To just live my way?

To do life my way
Without constantly checking
If they would be pleased

I don’t know this life
But I am now so eager
To know this freedom.

So grateful I chose to work through this. I’ve yet to experience life in this beautiful and blissfully free way. I look forward to it starting now.

I used to believe shame was necessary in order to live a “good” life. I was raised to believe shame is what keeps us in line and ensures we live as “good citizens” and other BS like that. But I now realize that I don’t have to constantly compare my life and behavior to what everyone else is doing to know right from wrong… or better yet, right for me versus wrong for me. I have an internal something… a knowing… that lets me know if I am on target with what makes sense, feels good, is “appropriate” for my life.

I’m going to use my internal knowing more. And use shame less… until I eliminate it altogether. And the great thing about that is the more I do that for myself, the more I will be an example of this freedom to those around me, including my child.

I am so grateful that I didn’t blow this off. You know, we receive these opportunities to process through our thoughts, to sit with an idea and see how we feel about it. And it’s so easy to ignore that urge and just go on with life. I am so grateful, this time, I got up, grabbed my journal and pen, and decided to work through it.

And I’m so grateful that I decided to share it with you. I hope this is helpful for you.

UPDATE: So I’ve been unpacking this idea and it led to me recording a full podcast episode to go with this poem and post. So please check it out to get the full story behind this blog post.

Listen below. FYI I cuss so wait ’til the kids and elders aren’t around. 

Tap the play button to listen to today’s podcast. Tap & hold first if necessary, then tap play.

Blessings!

Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist

Learn more about me….

Tap to learn about Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist
Tap to learn about my online course for parents!
Learn about my personalized gifts, tees, & bday supplies!
Learn about my empowering children’s book!

If you’d like to support my work, please check out my Support Page for multiple options. Thank you so much for being here.

Visit my Support Page

If you’d like to check out more of my blog posts or podcast episodes, tap the button below and just keep reading, listening, and scrolling. Oh, and subscribe while you’re there so you know when I post a new one.

Check out more posts!

I’ll Give It To Myself

I admittedly have held the bar too low for myself. I settled. I was in relationships that didn’t feel good. I felt insignificant, undervalued, and optional, and that to them my most basic requests were “asking too much.”

“I’m in a season where I’m not waiting to be loved by another person. I’m giving that love to myself.” — Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist mdillondesigns.com/blog
Tap the play button to listen to today’s podcast. Tap & hold first if necessary, then tap play.
FYI I cuss so wait ’til the kids and elders aren’t around. Press play to listen to today’s podcast. Blessings!

As I do inner work to clear messaging that began long before these individuals, I’ve come to some important conclusions. Clearly, it’s essential that I raise the bar for what I expect and desire from others. But even more important is that I raise the bar for what i expect and give to myself.

It’s so important that I not only desire great love from a future companion. I also need to give great love to myself.

On today’s podcast, I talk about how I am beginning to raise my standards regarding how I treat myself. I share about the various ways I am on a new leg of this self-love journey. I’m excited to say, I am falling in love with myself.

So check out today’s episode. My hope is that through what I share, you’ll see ways you can fall in love yourself a little deeper.

Blessings!

Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist

Have you heard about my new members-only podcast library? Yeah, I have a new offer for paid subscribers called FCKIT-FEB! It’s a special offer of access to podcast episodes and content that I do not share publicly. It’s my little thank you for your support, if you choose to become a paid monthly subscriber. Want to learn more about it? Tap Learn More below! And thank you for being here. I appreciate you.

Learn More

Learn more about me….

Tap to learn about Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist
Tap to learn about my online course for parents!
Learn about my personalized gifts, tees, & bday supplies!
Learn about my empowering children’s book!

If you’d like to support my work, please check out my Support Page for multiple options. Thank you so much for being here.

Visit my Support Page

If you’d like to check out more of my blog posts or podcast episodes, tap the button below and just keep reading, listening, and scrolling. Oh, and subscribe while you’re there so you know when I post a new one.

Check out more posts!

Healing Through Poetry

Sometimes I use poetry… the structure of it… to get out my head. Needed to talk myself down from crashing out. You find your own way. This worked for me. Much calmer now.

“No matter what it looks like, or how bad it feels right now, don’t give up. You are special. You are a gift. No matter who made you feel like you’re a problem, know that you’re a solution, and that’s why you’re here.” — Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist

Don’t give up.
Pain all around.
Everyone’s hurting.

Well, not everyone.
Some are causing the hurt.
Some are at the root of pain.

And we still have to find ways through.
Some pain is unbearable. No cause.
No one to blame. So we just got to cope.

So we feel it, then we refocus.
We heal, while we allow for joy.
We acknowledge and ignore.

Sometimes we choose to rest.
Some days we press through.
Or we do both.

Be where you are.
Trust yourself.
Love you.

Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist

Setting arbitrary rules helps me when I need to channel my energy positively. I often use the haiku structure (3 lines: first 5 syllables, second 7 syllables, third 5 syllables) to help me process my thoughts. Today, I made up a new system. If you’re bored, you can try and figure out what it is. lol

Concentrating on fitting the structure while getting my thoughts out succinctly is a great tool for me when I need to decompress. Maybe it’ll work for you. Thought I’d share.

Blessings!

Not Okay, But I Will Be

I wasn’t sure which title to use for this episode. A couple alternate titles could be: “Don’t Let Your Empathy Get in the Way of Your Discernment,” or “Keep Your Toxicity Over There,” or “I Don’t Eff w/ Them So Stop Bringing Them Up or I’ma Stop Effin’ w/ You,” but those are a bit long and a bit intense. 😂

Meme Image a woman with glasses and curly hair, holding phone to her ear, facial expression is not happy. Text states: “We can be authentic and positive at the same time. We can say, ‘I’m not okay right now, but I will be.’” — Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist mdillondesigns.com/blog
Tap the play button to listen to today’s podcast. Tap & hold first if necessary, then tap play.
FYI I cuss so wait ’til the kids and elders aren’t around. Press play to listen to today’s podcast. Blessings!

Let’s just say, you wanna check out this episode. It’s a bit on the fun side… especially if you have some relationships that waft up periodically, that you could do without.

I covered a lot in this episode AND I’m glad that I decided to record because there are so many relational lessons in this one. Layers and layers of empowered oversharing. 😂

I talk about boundaries and “toxic” relationships. I talk about how we sometimes allow our empathy to get in the way of our discernment. I talk about inner child work. I, of course, share my own personal stories to drive the concepts home.

I learned so many things through this experience today. A moment that felt like an obstacle, truly brought so many growth opportunities, and I’d love to share them with you.

So check out this episode. And remember I cuss. 😂 (Don’t let that deter you, just let it help you choose the right time to press play.)

Blessings!

Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist