Cheap Love Is Far Too Expensive

Don’t let loneliness cause you to connect with the wrong person.

Some relationships can take decades to heal from. If I could tell my former self one thing that could have saved me so much loss and pain, it would be pay attention to what you see not what he says.

Don’t ignore what you observe. Don’t make yourself out to be the crazy one because what you see doesn’t match with what he says. He’s not in a bad season. He’s not just tired or frustrated with work. If it’s been going on for a while, this is who he is, likely who he’s always been (his mask is off now), and possibly who he has become. And he’s not changing back.

(BTW I assume this could apply to any gender/human. Note that I am speaking from my own experiences and observations. This is not an anti-men post. I love men and don’t assume that all men are the same.)

Far too often we fall in love with someone’s representative, and then when they change into their real self we believe what they tell us is the reason for the change. Don’t gaslight yourself. You see what you see. You observe what you observe.

And one more thing that I would tell my former self is to pay attention to the way they treat others. You’re not special… forever. Special treatment wears off. How they treat others in their life, they will eventually treat you.

In some relationships you can lose a lot more than you think. (I am still experiencing losses from the role left by a relationship that ended nearly 20 years ago.) I was so busy looking for “signs” and so terrified of missing out on my one opportunity at finding “the one,” that I ignored all of the red flags. I completely changed course because I bought into the lie that the worst thing I woman could do with her life is be single and childless. That fear that was conditioned into me since childhood, through TV, movies, society, church, and culture, completely hijacked my plans and left me with one gift and a whole lot of losses.

A bad relationship can completely reroute your life. You can lose opportunities, money, family, friends, health, and worst of all, you can lose yourself.

Some things you’ll lose forever. Others you may get back in time. I’m still gradually remembering who I was before him (the unapologetically strong, independent, and courageous individual I was back then). I’d rather be lonely than allow somebody to take as much from me as he did.

Don’t ignore red flags. They are not decorations. Don’t ignore your gut instincts. Keep your eyes and ears open. Check if their words match their actions, of who they say they are is backed by behavior. Look at the situation objectively by imagining someone you really love being in your position. What advice would you give them? What would you believe is in their best interest? Take your own loving advice. You deserve the best and nothing less.

Don’t make your life decisions through loneliness. Choose love that feels like love. The losses from choosing the cheap alternative in the end are so not worth it.

Blessings,

Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist

From Bullsh*t to Blessed Sh*t

“When life is challenging, it’s easy to fall into a habit of listing what’s wrong. I’m learning that even when I can’t change my situation, I can change my mood by listing what’s right. I call this ‘shifting from bullsh*t to blessed sh*t.’” —Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist

Tap the play button to listen to today’s podcast. Tap & hold first if necessary, then tap play.
FYI I cuss so wait ’til the kids and elders aren’t around. Press play to listen to today’s podcast. Blessings!

Check out today’s podcast. It’s a short one, but some powerful truths. Pardon the sound quality. Thanks for being here. Press play above.

Blessings!

Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist

Looking for unique gifts? Check out my online store. All items designed by me.

Don’t Give Up

This year, particularly the last few months and even this current week have been piles and piles of BS and pain and navigating illness and loss and situations where I had to confront people in positions of power … So much overlapping too muchness going on in my life and it has been really hard.

As someone who deals with anxiety, depression, sooizsidull ideation, etc., who is dealing with a debilitating processing disorder, and the scarcity that can be associated with not being able to maintain income because you’re mind works at limited capacity…. I have been in a really bad place on and off daily for months.

And I don’t mean just sad sometimes. I mean when was the last time I cut/washed my hair, showered, changed clothes? Walking around like a zombie just barely existing.

For the last few months I have just been doing what I have to do. I’ve got to take my daughter to school, I’ve got to make her breakfast, I’ve got to make her lunch, I’ve got to make her dinner I’ve got to go to the grocery store I’ve got to put gas in the car I’ve got to go to sleep eventually because I got to do it again tomorrow. And on some rare occasions I managed to write a blog, post a podcast, or share a post of my own.

One thing that is not something I would normally tell you, is that if you see me posting a lot.. and I mean posting other people’s content.. it is a sign that I am not doing well. I am pretty much in a zombie like State scrolling and posting because I don’t have enough mental, emotional, or even physical energy to create and post my own content.

Many days I did not want to be here anymore. Many times on many days that is a thought. But, just so you don’t have to worry, I am not unsafe. I am okay. I have been practicing gratitude and listening to good music and taking naps to reset myself multiple times per day.

If what’s going on around you, in you, or with those in your life is feeling too heavy, know you’re not alone.

One of the blessings in my life is that my mind is like an ongoing jukebox. Music is playing in my mind all the time, like I have my own life soundtrack. A couple days ago when I was feeling very give up-ish, this song came to me. I’m not even religious at this point in my life, but it was so encouraging. So I offer to this to you if you’ve been really struggling lately. Another one that encourages me when I’m down is William Becton’s “Be Encouraged” and Kirk Franklin’s “Smile.” Lately, I’ve been listening to Surfaces full Pacifico album because the vibe just gives “life is good” vacation feels. It calms me when life is being an absolute butt. Sending big hugs if you need one or many. 🫂

I never really felt “safe” to share all of this. I’ve done it in bits and pieces, but not this honest. But I care more about impact than image. So I hope this encourages you. I don’t have it all figured out and I am currently navigating what I’ve been calling gawd’s targeted (at me) diarrhea. SO please don’t let life take you under. I’m holding on with whatever my finger nails, gum, and prayers of humans and angels can offer. Please do the same. Love you!

Blessings, 

Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist

Need a little inspiration?

Check out this related episode of Share & Let’s Live! with Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist, “From Bullsh*t to Blessed Sh*t.” Remember I cuss so choose your environment wisely. Also, I was getting a little vibration in the recording possibly due to the wind. Ignore it so you can get the message. Thanks!

Tap to Listen

What’s Your Interpersonal Footprint?

What do you think about yourself? Do you gain your sense of self-worth from what society, your family, or social media values? What matters to you? What qualities do you most value? What do you love most about yourself?

On today’s episode, I realized that my answers to these questions run a little deeper than I knew. I came to the most healing discovery about myself and I believe it will be clarifying for you, too.

Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist’s quote: “The accolades and all that stuff never really mattered to me… the way I evaluate and value people is really based on who they are in terms of how they are with others and how they show up in the world… their interpersonal footprint.” Square graphic with a textured gray sand background showing multiple animal footprints, including paw prints and bird tracks, walking across the surface. The quote is displayed in large white text, with “Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist” at the top and bottom. The footer displays “mdillondesigns.com/blog”.
Tap the play button to listen to today’s podcast. Tap & hold first if necessary, then tap play.
FYI I cuss so wait ’til the kids and elders aren’t around. Press play to listen to today’s podcast. Blessings!

Please listen all the way to the end. Don’t turn it off when you hear the music start playing. Thanks so much. Enjoy!

Let’s grow together. Press play and let me share a little story with you.

Enjoy. And as always….

Blessings!

Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist

Learn more about me….

Tap to learn about Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist
Tap to learn about my online course for parents!
Image of Honorary doctorate gift tee by MDillon Designs Illustration of a rolled diploma with text that says I'm a mom where's my honorary doctorate.
Learn about my personalized gifts, cards, tees, & bday supplies!
Learn about my empowering children’s book!

Your support helps me reach more people.
Like. Share. Subscribe.

To Support my work or send a gift:
– buymeacoffee.com/marlenedillon
– $proud2bnaturalme
– visit my Support page for additional options that may work better for you.

If you enjoyed this post, you’ll love it here. Subscribe so you’ll be notified when I post again. And in the meantime, check out my other blog posts and podcast episodes.

Tap for more posts!