Bare Minimum: What Are You Hungry For?

When I look back on my relationships, there’s definitely a pattern. Once I recognize I’ve been “chosen,” I race in, full of excitement, ignore the red flags, forget my intentions, and give it my all.

Meme: Image of a plate of food with one small potato, one piece of shrimp“ and just the tip of one asparagus spear. Text states: Some people are pros at identifying, people’s hunger. They use this info to offer the bare minimum and get all they want.” — Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist mdillondesigns.com/blog
Tap the play button to listen to today’s podcast. Tap & hold first if necessary, then tap play.
FYI I cuss so wait ’til the kids and elders aren’t around. Press play to listen to today’s podcast. Blessings!

In retrospect, it’s always pretty embarrassing. I wonder how I forgot I said this was one I couldn’t trust, or this one was just temporary, or this one I wasn’t even interested in at all. Whether it’s a friend, partner, or business partner, there came a point when they said or did something that convinced me that I was chosen and that they “saw” me. And that meant everything to me, because it meant that they saw me as significant.

“One of the most dangerous things for a person to come across in their lives is a person with ill intentions who recognizes the one thing they want more than anything.” — Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist

One of the most dangerous things for a person to come across in their lives is a person with ill intentions who recognizes the one thing they want more than anything. Why? Because they’ll become the greatest actor, and offer what the person clearly wants, just long enough to gain their loyalty and devotion. Then, they can easily get what they really came for.

So whether it’s a homeless narcissist who quickly “falls in love” because he needs a place to stay, or a person with no credentials who claims sisterhood so she can convince you to use your degree and accomplishments to partner with her in business, there are actually people out there who partner with others, by offering to feed your hunger, because they know that’s the quickest way to get what they want.

If you’ve ever (unfortunately) experienced a narcissist, that’s how, and why, lovebombing works. They quickly figure out what you need most (what you’re hungry for) and offer it until you’re fully all in. They get what they want, and when they’re done using you, they snatch that meal right back.

As I reflect on the graveyard of my past relationships, I see that each time I accepted the bare minimum because I was hungry.

Yesterday, I had an epiphany regarding where this hunger came from. And today, as I was scrolling Instagram, a video crossed my path that brought tears to my eyes. It echoed the exact same message. And upon seeing it, I knew I had to share this with you.

On today’s podcast, I talk about my epiphany and how the video impacted me. So press play (above) to listen to today’s podcast. Also, I’ll leave the Instagram video, that confirmed my hunch, below.

I hope this will help you gain some answers, some healing, and some closure, as I did.

Blessings!

Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist

Here’s the IG video….

Well & H*ll Yes Are Not the Same

My first mentor taught me a valuable lesson that I never forgot. I was in the middle of a really tough situation, because I said, “Yes,” when my gut told me early on that it was a “no.” After I shared my story with her, she said, “God will teach you a lesson in a way that you’ll never forget it.”

Well, for some reason, although I got that lesson, I missed the deeper lesson. Although the details of the scenarios changed, time after time I found myself in situation after situation where I knew early on that it felt like it was a “no,” but I still said, “Yes.”

Late last night, (well, actually early this morning) I came to a conclusion. I realized I had been looking at situations too specifically. When I said, “I won’t do that again,” I was looking at a specific person, a specific decision, etc., but I was missing the general rule.

Meme: Woman standing with hands extended to her sides like a balance as if choosing what's in one hand or the other Text states: "“It’s important to set standard rules for decision making that we can use in any situation.” — Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist mdillondesigns.com/blog
Tap the play button to listen to today’s podcast. Tap & hold first if necessary, then tap play.
FYI I cuss so wait ’til the kids and elders aren’t around. Press play to listen to today’s podcast. Blessings!

On today’s podcast, I figured out the rule. And I believe that sticking with this rule is going to save me from a lot of frustrating moments, a lot of burning bridges, and from improperly investing my energy and time.

I realized two common threads were present in my numerous uncomfortable past situations. One, I didn’t feel at ease, but I said, “Yes,” anyway. Two, I said, “Yes,” out of a sense of fear and desperation. I said, “Yes,” despite feeling uneasy, unavailable, and unaligned, simply because I was afraid of missing out on a potential opportunity. That fear came from desperation…..

Okay, I said enough. Check out the podcast. Listen all the way to the end, even if you have to break it up and listen 10 minutes at a time. You don’t want to miss the ending, but you’ll need the build up to fully get it.

Anywho, enjoy the podcast. I hope you gain a lot from it, as I did.

Blessings!

Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist

Storytime: ADHD & The Ease of Making Soup

ADHD is fun. And by fun I mean a cruel time waster. So let me tell you a story…

Meme: Image: Close up of a pot of soup (with carrots, noodles, onions, etc.) Text states: "Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist Storytime: ADHD & The Ease of Making Soup" mdillondesigns.com/blog"

So all day I was craving some soup. I make soup in a particular pot. Because ADHD I took a while (some hours) to actually get motivated to grab the pot, to make the soup. So I got up and looked in all the usual places and couldn’t find the pot. So I rested for a few hours and then decided to try again. I looked in another spot, and couldn’t find the pot.

At some point, I realized I was too hungry to wait to find the pot to cook this soup. I’d have to just eat something else. So I went in the refrigerator, made a quick bowl of awesomeness including quinoa that was in the pot in the fridge. I enjoyed my vegan meal, did some work, went back to resting.

Urge came up later, that I needed something to eat so I should get up and find that pot so I could make my soup. After searching EVERY logical place for the pot, I still didn’t find it. I was a little frustrated, but just decided it was already 10pm so I guess I just wouldn’t eat.

So around 10:15, a thought crossed my mind. The last time I couldn’t find the pot, it ended up being in the fridge. I had cooked rice in it. And it was right about then that I realized that not only did I grab quinoa from THE POT to make myself a vegan bowl earlier. I also grabbed that SAME POT hours ago to make my daughter’s dinner plate.

So now, at 10:40, I am making my soup, because I am very hungry.

*BTW feel free to save your “that’s not ADHD, I do that all the time” comments. Not interested. (You may lowkey have it, too. 😆)

Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist

Inner Guidance & Emotional Rollercoasters

Today, I did something different… like a little weird. 😂 I sought guidance from… within.

Meme: Image of winding roller coaster tracks. Text states: “Many of us don’t realize it, know how to access them, or just don’t take the time to do it, but we truly do have the answers within.” — Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist mdillondesigns.com/blog
Tap the play button to listen to today’s podcast. Tap & hold first if necessary, then tap play.
FYI I cuss so wait ’til the kids and elders aren’t around. Press play to listen to today’s podcast. Blessings!

Okay, doing that is not that weird for me, but “who” I sought guidance from was the interesting part. I ended up learning something really cool and insightful. I’d love to share that story with you, so please press play to check out today’s podcast.

Blessings!

Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist