I’ve reached a point in my life where it feels essential that I no longer care about most of the things I used to care about. It’s been far too easy for me to let the simplest things cause me to go from 0 to 60.
Over the last week, I came to the conclusion that I just can’t afford to keep getting upset over every single thing. Especially being neurodivergent, I can’t afford to give my focus to unimportant things. One moment can snatch my whole day, if I let it. I’d be miserable and unproductive all day over a silly convo that morning. And I’m tired of that.
Tap the play button to listen to today’s podcast. Tap & hold first if necessary, then tap play.FYI I cuss so wait ’til the kids and elders aren’t around. Press play to listen to today’s podcast. Blessings!
Last week, I had a situation occur that just “floored” me. I was done with everyone and every thing. For the next few days, I was in a depression tailspin and it was not looking good.
However, the mood that started as a “f*ck this sh*t, I’m done,” evolved into a “f*ck that sh*t, I choose not to care.” And soon the choice to not care became my main thought. I am just now I’m beginning to see the value in this season of letting sh*t go and I thought I’d tell you about it.
This is a topic that is very important for me to share. It’s something that I have dealt with for most of my life in silence. As I am aware of the many people who are struggling right now with their mental health and due to all the collective trauma that many of us are navigating daily, I felt it was important to be vulnerable and talk about this in hopes that somebody will either feel less alone, recognize their need for support, or take comfort in knowing a bit more about this topic.
Trigger Warning: on this episode of Share & Let’s Live! I discuss my own struggles with suicidal ideation and share stories about related challenges. Although I am not sharing details, or giving specifics regarding any type of act, my bluntness as I talk about this sensitive topic may be triggering.
If you are in the midst of an episode, or have a related experience, please listen with caution and please stop the recording at any point that feels too much for you. As usual I’m taking care to not be too heavy, but this is one of those topics that it’s challenging to do so.
For clarity, I am sharing my experience and opinions. This is not instructional or direct guidance/advice. Please consult your own doctor, therapist, mental health provider as needed. If you are feeling unsafe, please seek proper supports available in your area.
Last disclaimer, because I am honestly exhausted and have been working at diminished capacity since the loss of my dear friend, I realized days ago that I have not been posting here (even though I thought I was). 🤦🏾 So I’m sharing today’s podcast episode via YouTube (since I actually managed to post it there). Hopefully I will get around to circling back to post the way I typically do. But for now, please bear with me and listen via them embedded YouTube player below.
Thank you so much for being here. Press play on the video below to check out today’s episode. And as always…
Blessings!
Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist
Listen/read along below by pressing play (▶️) below. BTW Remember, I cuss and for the sake of my video not being flagged, I had to use some odd spellings, rewording and occasional stars (***) for choice words in captions. Try not to be distracted by it. 💖
In this post I share about some challenges I deal with, that maybe you or someone you know can relate to. At the end, I will offer a tool that I created to help myself and people like me to work through those challenges and have more successful days. Worth reading.
Proud of myself. After a full week of life getting in the way. I have resubmitted my book to be published. The title (and subtitle) is “What’s Your V.I.B.E.: a daily journal to help you focus and process your day.”
This journal was birthed out of my own daily struggles to focus, stay on task, decide what’s important to work on that day, etc.
Hi. I’m Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist and I.U.S.E. (Inspire. Uplift. Support. Encourage.) people. That “E” has grown over time so it also stands for empower and entertain. 🥰 I am on a journey of self-acceptance, that I didn’t realize would take me down certain paths, but I’m grateful.
I was in therapy and mentioned that I was struggling with staying focused and getting things done. And as we worked together, my therapist began to notice patterns that she recognized as possibly signs that I was dealing with some processing challenges. I had always done well in school (I currently hold a master’s degree in counseling), so no one saw that I was struggling. One thing I was always good at was figuring out the weight of different assignments, tests, etc. I made sure that I scored high on the things that carried the heaviest weight. So my grades didn’t actually reflect how good of a student I was. But anyway, how’d I start talking about that? 😆 Oh yeah, I have ADHD, so I drift. 😅
Which is kinda the point. I didn’t know I had ADHD until this therapist suggested I be assessed. She told me that she felt that if I got assessed I might find out some things about myself that will help me love myself more, recognize why certain things are challenging, and have a better understanding of why I was struggling with being able to focus. Her full intention, which she stated weekly, was to help me grow in self-acceptance.
Fast forward. I was assessed and during the extremely lengthy and detailed assessment process, I very quickly realized that the one thing I knew for sure was not something I had, was exactly what I was dealing with. I grew up seeing kids who couldn’t sit still, constantly speaking out of turn, and getting in trouble for running around. I knew those kids were dealing with hyperactivity, or ADD as we called it back then.
What I didn’t know is that there are two forms, and the one more common in women is “inattentive” rather than hyperactive. This form looks like daydreaming, chattiness, forgetting what you were talking about midthought/midsentence, and…. (wow, literally just happened to me. I have no idea what I was about to say as my last example. Oh yeah….)…. daydreaming. 😂 Due to seggsizm, girls and women were not given a diagnosis when they were struggling with focus challenges. Doctors, teachers, etc. just sent them home saying, “She’s just being a girl.” 🙄
Anywho so I was assessed. It was obvious. And I mean OBVIOUS that I was dealing with inattentive ADHD and I had a couple other things going on as well. Executive dysfunction is a challenge that makes it hard for me sometimes start and complete projects. The impulsivity of ADHD may help me start it at times, but the lack of dopamine to overcome hurdles, coupled with challenges with prioritizing tasks, recognizing the various steps required to complete projects, the ability to self-start (which I need to get to the next steps after the fun initial steps), as well as object permanence (it’s out of sight out of mind. If I get distracted, I’ll completely forget I was ever working on that project)….
Blah blah blah 😅 I got tired of not getting sh*t done, so I created a template to help me get around these executive functioning challenges. So it started as a worksheet I created to help myself identify my intentions, identify and break down steps to complete tasks, etc.
Eventually, I realized that often what was standing in the way of completing tasks was my beliefs and expectations. If I didn’t think it could be done, that I didn’t have what it takes, that people won’t want it, etc. I wasn’t going to get started on it. So I incorporated addressing my beliefs into the worksheet.
After much fine tuning, I eventually settled on a format that truly helped me have productive days. I actually used it to complete this project (see there is a point, lol). I have been wanting to turn my worksheet into a full daily journal, to help myself and people like me to have more productive days. And that’s exactly what I did.
What’s Your V.I.B.E. (the VIBE journal for short) is my offering to the world to support neurodivergent people (and others) who struggle with having productive days.
Many of us choose to be entrepreneurs because the structure of being an employee is unaligned with our natural way of being. The challenge though is that without the structure we often find it challenging to start and complete tasks. We don’t have that dopamine burst from the fear of a supervisor asking about that project, or even the fear of being fired for not being productive daily. We still deal with the adverse effects, though.
What’s Your V.I.B.E. is my way of getting more out of my days, by guiding myself through tasks, projects, and intentions. When I lose track of what I’m doing, I can go back to my VIBE journal and see exactly what I’m supposed to be working on and why.
It’s NOT a planner. Eff a planner. I’ve never been able to use those. It is a companion for working through the steps of your day. It’s not just due dates and lists. It’s support to break it down and get it done.
And on top of that awesome support during your day, it also provides support for winding down after your work day. Yep. I incorporated my end of day practices—many of which I’ve shared on here from time to time—to help bring a sense of calm and accomplishment so you can end your day in peace.
So when’s it coming out? That’s a great question. I just resubmitted it. It has to be processed, printed and the new proof returned to me. After I give it my stamp of approval, it will be available everywhere. So give me a few weeks to get through that process. Right now, it’s looking like it will be available for purchase by “Easter,” if not sooner.
Thank you for reading all this. I have a podcast episode around here somewhere talking about this. But I felt inspired to share this way today. Thank you for your continued support.
If you, or someone you know, can use this supportive resource, I will leave a Google form in the comments. There you can sign up to receive updates about the What’s Your V.I.BE. journal. Don’t worry. I will only use the info for updates about the VIBE journal. And it’s a simple 2-question, name and email, form.
Thanks again for being here.
Blessings!
Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist
Update: It’s here! What’s Your V.I.B.E. is now available!
If you’ve been following this journey or were waiting for it to be released, you can get your copy here:
I’m currently finishing my new journal, What’s Your V.I.B.E. If this message resonated with you and you’d like to be notified when it’s released, you can join the update list here.
It’s a simple 2-question Google Form. First name and email only.
They thrive off of dividing us into “us” vs “them.” We don’t see problems that don’t affect us. We think we are part of the group that’s safe, until we realize that that they control who is a part of which group. Follow me I’m going somewhere.
When it was us y’all felt safe because it wasn’t you.
Then 911 happened, and then you became the target. You became the one who everyone was looking at strangely. You became the one they were watching when it came time to board the plane.
They convince you to feel superior to others because you have this or that, because your papers say this or that, because you came from here not there, because you did it legally unlike them.
When the pandemic happened, they blamed it on y’all. Suddenly you were the one everyone was looking at strangely. Your neighbors and your neighhood became the target. You became the one they were watching when it came time to board the plane.
Back before all of this you felt you were safe because you arrived legally, you didn’t float in on makeshift rafts. You did it the “right” way, and you’re an official now, so you’re superior to those others. You’re better than “them.”
Then came that frozen group, who challenge your naturalization, who don’t care that you are official or that you’ve been here for the longest living as a good, upstanding citizen. You have an accent, a tan, and now you’re a target. You are the ones they’re looking at strangely, your neighborhood has become the target. You’re the one sweating as you attempt to board a plane….
Let me ask you one question. Which “minority” is left? Who’s next? You might want to start paying attention, because your rights are already on the chopping block. It might be time that you recognize what group you really belong to and who you need to align with and support.
It’s not you against us. It’s all of us against them. They are the true minority, but they’ve got us all fighting each other.
Just sayin.
Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist
If this resonated, or made you think, you’ll appreciate my blog post, “Bully Adjacent.”
Please visit my shop and buy or share something. If you’d like to support with a review, testimonial, or monetary gift, please visit my support page. Thank you in advance.
If you’d like to check out more of my blog posts or podcast episodes, tap the button below and just keep reading, listening, and scrolling. Oh, and subscribe while you’re there so you know when I post a new one.
MDillon Designs & Publishing 