Maybe You’re Ahead of the Game

Today, I had a text convo with a dear friend that changed my life. It was a trajectory-shifting conversation. She helped me see myself, and my journey, in a whole new light—in a way that I will never be able to unsee.

Stunning woman with colorful hair and makeup (shades of orange, pink, purple perfectly blended) Text states: " “Not fitting in does not make you wrong. You might just be ahead of the game.” —Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist mdillondesigns.com/blog
Tap the play button to listen to today’s podcast. Tap & hold first if necessary, then tap play.
FYI I cuss so wait ’til the kids and elders aren’t around. Press play to listen to today’s podcast. Blessings!

I remember some years back, my cousin (who I look up to) referred to me as a “thought leader.” This is a term I reserve for people like Dr. Wayne Dyer, Louise Hay, and Eckhart Tolle. To be seen in this way was a huge compliment to me. And when I thought about it, I realized that in a way I understood what she meant.

I think about things people don’t really think about. I share insights that come to me… spiritually or something… I can only use the terms I know to explain it. I just know that sometimes I have these epiphanies that cause me to see life differently and I just immediately share them. And it’s so cool when you connect with those words and it helps.

I share my stories because of the chance that you can relate and hope that maybe the lessons I’m learning on my journey can help you on yours.

So today, I had a convo with my dear friend and I want to share the story with you and the lesson I gained. So please press play above to listen to today’s podcast. If it blesses you, please comment or share or follow so you can hear when I share more stories.

*** Over the last month or more I have recorded so many podcasts. This is the first time that I’ve felt inspired enough to edit and actually post a new episode. I feel like despite what’s going on around me that I am entering a new season….

This episode marks a new chapter for me as Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist — aligning all my work around self-love, empowerment, and authentic expression.

I’m bringing all I have to offer together with a common focus, and one-decision-at-a-time stepping more fully into my power. Thank you for joining me on my journey!

Check out today’s episode above.

Blessings!

Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist

It’s MY Story to Tell

To the people who say, “That was a long time ago. You should be over that by now,” instead of judging, be grateful that you either have the internal resolve to bounce back or that you haven’t experienced trauma on a level so deep that you’re still impacted by it decades later.

I continue to share my stories, my journey, my challenges, and my triumphs, with you, because I know I’m not the only one. And EVEN IF THERE IS ONLY ONE other person who can relate, I’ll be posting for me and them.

It’s important to know your calling. It helps when the temptation to listen to outside voices gets loud. So many times I’ve written out a detailed story or post and started to delete it. Many times I actually did delete it (until my big sis Yoli told me to NEVER delete). I still do sometimes though. Everybody’s got an opinion on the internet and sometimes I don’t want to deal with that. But more often I get over myself and remember the one who may need it, and I post it.

Yesterday, I found myself in a moment like that. I wrote a lonnng post and then thought about the trolls and potential responses of certain people and I did a quick select all and cut it. I’m proud of myself for making that my go-to, rather than to hit the delete or backspace button. I was gonna trash the whole thing, then I remembered the one. What if there is ONE person who needed to hear it?

Mother Teresa once said that we should find someone who feels alone and show them that they’re not. And that’s why I do what I do. I remembered that yesterday and went right back and pasted my words in the comments of the post.

We’re not here to cater to trolls. We’re not here to hold back our inspired words, because some people might not agree. If we have a message to share, we share it in love. And don’t worry about the ones the message ISN’T for. Share what’s on your heart because we have the power to let the ones who really matter know that they are not alone.

Blessings,

Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist

Enough Is Enough

Realizing that I’m currently experiencing the fatigue of decades of fighting through anxiety, executive dysfunction, criticism, emotional abuse, heartbreak, and religious trauma.

Since childhood I’ve just dealt with it and kept on pushing and pressing through. And I just feel like my body has reached a point where it’s like, “No!”

For weeks, all I’ve had energy to do is the bare minimum and sleep. And all the stuff, I’ve been stuffing into my “can’t deal with that right now” closet has bust the doors open and are pouring all over my thoughts.

Trusting I’ll manifest the right therapist, at the right time, with the right resources to support me on this new leg of my healing journey.

Some people feel I overshare. I’m one of them. 😂 But I don’t care because I believe that that’s part of my purpose. I heal publicly, so you can heal privately.

Sometimes we don’t know what’s going on with us until someone else shows up as an example, with an explanation. We see ourselves in their stories.

So I’ll keep sharing. And if it bothers you, you can always unfollow. Or you can pay for my therapy. 😂 BOTH are welcomed. 🤣

Blessings,

Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist

BTW, this is the reason I haven’t been posting any new blog posts or podcasts until recently. I’ve been meaning to say something so I’m glad that I felt inspired to share this today. 😘

Retelling My Birth Story

You have a right to be alive. Do you feel that? Honestly? No. I don’t belong here. From birth I’ve been messing up. I nearly killed my mother coming here. I should’ve never….

Well, I’m here now. So … I guess I’ll make the most  of it.

It’s funny how the stories you’ve been told since childhood shape the way you view yourself. I had no idea that I was holding this belief that I have been fucked and fucking up since birth. That I don’t belong here. That my very existence is, and has been, a mistake. That I came into the world causing destruction, and no wonder I was treated as I was. 

But what if I’m wrong?

What if my stumble into existence was a story of survival? Mother nearly dying in childbirth , lessening my chances of survival, but both of us survived. What if I rewrite our story as a survival story, a story of how essential we both were to this world that we both made it? 

What if my existence was so essential that my birth was far from a mistake? What if the universe was so determined to not just have me show up, but also to ensure I was groomed for my place in this world by the best possible teacher?

What if I needed to learn the depths of what it feels like to have it drilled into you from birth that you’re not enough, not welcomed, an inconvenience, a probleme? 

What if I am here to teach the unloved ones that they lied to you? What if I’m here to be the example that it is possible to climb out from the pile of negativity that’s been heaped onto us since childhood, and even birth? What if I came into this world, labeled the “bull in the china shop,” so that I can teach others (by example and through my voice) that we don’t have to wear the labels we’re offered. That we can take them off, one by one, once we realize we’re wearing them and they don’t belong to us? What if I begin to reframe all the messages I was taught about myself, until I truly and so deeply love myself that even the ones who labeled me can no longer get to me? What if I do the inner work and inner child work that allows me , with adult eyes, to retell my birth story? What if?

Well, it’s worth a try. 

Blessings, 

Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist

*** I didn’t want to interrupt the flow. But beginning to end was my morning journaling. This wasn’t just a blog post. This was me, my inner child, and my inner being/higher self moving me forward. I didn’t even remember that story I’ve been hearing told since I was a child… the story of how she lost so much blood delivering me that the nurses were surprised to see her the next morning. Parents really have no idea how the stories they tell will impact a child’s perception of themselves. This morning, I realized that this story has still been impacting me to this day… causing me to feel I don’t have a right to be… anywhere, that my mere presence is an inconvenience, that I don’t belong, that when I show up somebody loses. So I will sit with this awareness and pay attention to where the message shows up, and remind myself that… if nothing else, I showed up by invitation and the maintenance of her body was not my job, and it’s breakdown was not my fault. Just as I would not blame my daughter if I had the same experience in childbirth, I should not take on any blame for the mishaps that occurred during my entry into the world.

If you have some childhood stories that have been impacting you your whole life, maybe begin (and utilize a therapist or supportive loved one) to dismantle the story logically with adult eyes. Is the child really to blame given their age, knowledge, responsiveness, awareness at that age? Or is someone else responsible? That’s just one line of questioning. There are many directions, but the main thing is to look at it from an outside perspective, not through the same lens you’ve always viewed it. Retell the story. Question what you think you know. And most importantly, be gentle with yourself.

If you find yourself blaming yourself still, you’re too close to the story. You may need outside supports. Even if you technically did something and knew better, it might also be true that another person, with your same experiences, same knowledge, same age, could possibly have done the same if they were placed in the same scenario. Don’t be hard on yourself. Be reasonable. Be kind to yourself. This is a healing opportunity.

If you need support, or if this is triggering please find someone who supports you well, consider therapy, or if you cannot afford therapy (which I relate to) reach out to a university that has a counseling training program, because they often offer low cost (and sometimes free) therapy as new therapists need a certain amount of supervised training hours to get their degree. I have used counselors in training for years with phenomenal results.

If you’re curious about therapy, check out my blog post on this topic, “No Shame In Therapy.”