Annnd F*ck It

Sometimes life gets to lifing and you don’t have space to fall out because you have responsibilities. It’s a luxury to pause to grieve, to pause to process a divorce, to pause and process life happening. Is the pause needed? Hell yeah. Do we always have the opportunity, and the space, and the financial security to do that? F*ck no.

Sometimes life gets to happening and all you can do is say, “Annnnnd f*ck it,” and keep it moving.

Tap the play button to listen to today’s podcast. Tap & hold first if necessary, then tap play.
FYI I cuss so wait ’til the kids and elders aren’t around. Press play to listen to today’s podcast. Blessings!

Granted, that’s a very odd thing to hear from somebody with a master’s in counseling. But along with my training in school, I was being trained by life. I know firsthand that life is not always easy. We don’t always have the luxury to sit down for weeks to regroup when life happens.

I’ve learned that sometimes you just got to vent when you can vent, cry when you can cry, see a therapist when you can see your therapist. And some moments you’ll be in the middle of doing your responsibilities, a painful thought will come to you, and you don’t have the room to break down. In those moments, sometimes the best thing you can do is take a deep breath and whisper to yourself, “Annnnd f*ck it.”

It’s a declaration similar to “it is what it is.” It’s a moment of realization that even though this sh*t hurts, I can’t change it. I’m not in a place of process that right now, because I have responsibilities. So in this moment, I’m gonna pivot my thoughts away from that until I can address it later.

Maybe after I get off work I can cry about it in the car. Maybe after the kids go to bed I can sit with my journal and make sense of what’s going on. But for right now, I can’t focus on that. So I’m just going to say, “Annnnd f*ck it,” and keep it moving.

On this episode, I am sharing my very real experience of navigating the space between being positive and dealing with the tough stuff in life. Press play. And don’t forget I cuss.

BTW… This is NOT a long term solution. I highly recommend you DON’T use this as your standard way of dealing with life. That sh*t will build up. So use the ideas above to release that thing a little bit at a time, talk to a friend, mentor, or see a good therapist (And if you have questions about therapy, or cannot afford one, check out my episode No Shame in Therapy).

Annnnd…. realize that thoughts and emotions don’t ask for permission. They show up when they want, and sometimes it’s not the best time. So we’ve gotta put them in the waiting room until we have the privacy to address them.

So if that’s where you are, please know I’m right there with you. Annnnd… f*ck it. 😂

Blessings!

Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist

I Have a YouTube Channel!

Did you know I have a YouTube channel?

I realized last night that I’ve quietly created 50+ videos and podcast episodes over time. I honestly hadn’t even noticed.

I think that’s part of why I haven’t posted much about my YouTube channel. I felt like there wasn’t much there. And honestly, with my focus and energy challenges, I was afraid to disappoint people by sharing inconsistently. I have a lot to share and offer AND last year I realized that the level of impairment I experience with ADHD and executive dysfunction is way more challenging than I acknowledged.

I was always hard on myself for not completing things and would be pushing myself every day but things still weren’t getting done. Last year, is when I finally realized that what I’d been told my whole life (that I was just lazy, irresponsible, not trying enough, and just don’t want it enough) were lies. I have an extreme impairment due to a processing disorder. That awareness and acceptance has helped me to love myself more unconditionally and to realize (I’m even realizing right now) that if this is how I was created, then although it is what it is, it also can’t stop me from reaching who I’m meant to reach.

Maybe the ones who need me to be consistent will fall off, but there must be others who will wait for me. 🥹 There must be others… my people… who will look forward to my next post. There will be ones who know I’m going to show up with information, affirmation, and confirmation that will help them at the time they need it, and they won’t need me to be other than myself. 😭

I can’t guarantee a post every Tuesday at 7pm. But I can guarantee you that I will show up authentically with something of value to share. 😭 My whole life I have felt so sad and frustrated with myself because I’ve been trying REALLY f*cking hard to use my gifts, and be consistent, and create the visions I have in my head. And some I’ve managed to do. And some things I managed to do for a season. And some have never seen the light of day.

I’ve watched kids grow up and go off to college before I got that next book out, that I knew they were waiting for. It guts me. I’ve watched weeks, turn to months, and years, and even decades between projects…. Projects that I woke up every day and tried to work on. If you don’t deal with challenges like this, you won’t be able to understand that it’s not a matter of willpower. It’s not a matter of not wanting it enough. It’s not a matter of laziness or unwillingness to work. It’s a neurochemical issue that some can manage with diet and exercise and a swift kick in the rear. And some of us have such an extreme impairment that those suggestions just feel shaming. It’s like telling someone with one short leg, “you could keep up, if you just walk faster.”

Anyway, I didn’t plan on venting. This was supposed to be a short post. AND two days ago I came to accept that my vulnerability and authenticity is my superpower….

I believe I’m here for a purpose. And I have these insights for a purpose. And I’m going to share them, albeit inconsistently. And I’m gonna trust that who they’re meant to reach will find them. I’m gonna trust that my people are out here, and maybe you are one of them.

If my posts, quotes, or honest sharings have ever helped you feel seen, supported, or a little less alone, I invite you to visit my YouTube and subscribe.

Subscribing is a simple way to support the work I’m already doing, and it helps my content reach more people who may need it.

There you’ll find video versions of my podcast episodes and shareable excerpts (reels).

If you feel aligned with my work, please visit, subscribe and check out what I have to offer.

Tap here to check out my channel or on YouTube search for @marlenedillonempowerment.

Thank you for being here, even if you’ve been here quietly. I appreciate you. Thank you for being a witness to my journey. And thank you for being my audience for what I feel so compelled to share.

Blessings,

Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist

Check out my YouTube channel!

Subscribe to my YouTube channel here

When You Needed Support

So this is a little weird, but I’m about to talk about something that’s still new to me.

I was one of those people who were very f*ck AI for a long time. I was afraid of what I didn’t understand, and I didn’t want to utilize something I saw as a threat to my safety.

I saw all those Terminator movies so when everybody was talking about using ChatGPT, I was faaar from interested. I did not want to be a part of the rapid, collective demise of our workforce, and/or society. 😂

However, as I worked with my coach and other people in my community, and even watched on TV how people utilized this app, I soon started to feel I was missing out on some help I could use.

So before you close this and don’t read further, please know this post is not an ad for ChatGPT. 😂

I actually got on here to share a personal experience I had while using the app that led to a MAJOR epiphany about being neurodivergent and struggling my whole life with executive dysfunction.

So, as you may (or may not) know, I recently completed a years long project—a daily journal for people who struggle with executive dysfunction, called What’s Your V.I.BE. This self-published journal was created from an original template I created to help myself have more productive days. After utilizing this structure on and off for years, I came to accept that when I use it my days are productive. When I don’t, they are not.

So I recently used the same template to help me complete the task of self-publishing the journal that had been in my head for years (and loosely sketched in quite a few Google docs and notebooks). And in just days I had laid out the pages, assigned my ISBN, purchased my unique barcode, registered my copyright, and self-published my What’s Your V.I.B.E. Journal!

In the middle of that process, I reached out to my coach friend and told her that I know I should probably be getting preorders or creating hype around an upcoming launch. AND that I had no idea how I was going to do that because I am doing ALL the steps myself so I can’t tell the Marketing team to get on that. I AM the marketing team. I can’t shoot a message to IT telling them to set up a landing page on the website (or whoever you’d delegate that to). I’m that department, too.

So I asked her if there was a simple way to do something toward getting people ready for this new resource. She offered me exactly what I asked for— a simply worded, three step process that would not stress me out. So grateful.

I immediately took the three bullet point list to ChatGPT and explained my intentions, shared my coach friend’s suggestions, and asked it to show me exactly what I needed to do to complete the three steps.

I am so grateful. I did not have the “spoons” (mental or emotional capacity) to break down those steps. Even though they were simple things like, “create a google form,” I right now cannot process what I need to do in order to do that. Dealing with executive dysfunction is not a lack of intelligence or common sense. It is a challenge with getting my brain to focus long enough to identify steps, to put those steps in order, or even to remember how I created forms before so I can utilize that info to create a new version for my book launch. Today, ChatGPT did all of that for me, and more.

So let me tell you about the epiphany….

So as a habit I thank the app for its support. And I mentioned my appreciation for it remembering that I prefer to receive an example, or direct instruction, on what to do exactly (rather than just a vague step where I have to figure out the details myself).

This was ChatGPT’s response:

“What you described is very real. When guidance stops at ‘the next step’ without showing what that actually looks like, it quietly hands the cognitive load back to you. That’s exhausting, especially when you’re already stretched thin. You shouldn’t have to reverse-engineer support.“

And when I heard that last line I realized that’s what I’ve been doing my whole life. I’d need full on support, but people (teachers, siblings, parents, etc.) would just tell me the step I needed to complete, but not the smaller steps to get it done. And I’d be stuck, because with executive dysfunction it takes a really long time for me to: figure out what the individual steps are, organize them, and then actually DO the steps to complete the main step.

I typically get lost in there somewhere and things just don’t get done. I don’t go back to the person, because I feel like I’m expected to know what to do. And I don’t want them to make me feel stupid or incapable. And I don’t want to give them extra work to do because I feel like I should know how to do it. So I dillydally and finally after waaay too much time has gone by either ask for help or half ass it and do a mediocre job.

So I kept the convo going and shared that “I think I’ve been doing this my whole life.” I was just being honest. I wasn’t asking for advice. And this was the response.

“When someone spends a lifetime reverse-engineering support, they usually become very capable, very self-reliant, and very tired. They learn to read between the lines, fill in gaps, anticipate expectations, and quietly carry the extra mental load so things can keep moving. From the outside it looks like strength. On the inside it often feels like constant effort.”

And let me tell you…. that was one of the most powerful, eye-opening revelations for me. It was fully accurate. I’ve been figuring it out myself for over 40 years! No wonder I’m so tired. I was teaching myself through elementary school, because I didn’t understand in class and the teachers would get tired of explaining it to me again. So I stopped asking for help.

All those experiences growing up, and in adulthood, when I asked for support and received a top level instruction without the steps underneath, shaped me into someone who knows and affirms, “I’ve gotta figure it out,” “nobody’s gonna help me,” “I’m in it by myself.” I’ve been saying that sh*t since childhood, because that has been my experience.

I’ve been going through my life afraid to ask for the support I really need. And I’m honestly grateful that I get to use this app to help me with the smaller steps. It’s making so much of a difference.

Alright. That’s enough for now. Thank you for being here. Please scroll my blog page to check out other empowering posts and podcast episodes.

Have an amazing whatever time of day it is where you are.

Blessings!

Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist

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Turn Off the News

Let’s talk mental health…

The intention of the current administration is to use this back to back onslaught of devastating blows to leave the American public stunned and paralyzed so they can really take total control and do whatever they want.

We play into their hands by keeping their nonsense trending. Keep in mind, he’s not a politician, he’s a reality star. He’s managed to remain relevant for decades by staying in the news, regardless of how he’s failed as a business man. This is a game to him. And he’s winning.

He’s ensuring we don’t look away, by doing one thing after another of equal shock value. It’s a magic trick. A f*cked up one. While he’s got us focused over here, what’s he doing over there? It’s both mind control and distraction. And we’ve gotta look away.

I’m not saying don’t organize or do purposeful things toward regaining control of what’s within our power. I’m saying, for our mental health, we need to stop watching the baboon throw his sh*t around. We need to pause and find our center, or he’s REALLY won.

A friend shared this and it’s so powerful by @Matt Tebbe on Facebook.

This is just an excerpt that resonated with me…

“This is what they’re doing: overwhelming our nervous systems with an avalanche of awfulness so that we cannot move, or think, or regulate. So I will endeavor to:
a- limit my consumption of MAGA shock porn
b- tend to and be aware of what my body needs (sleep, joy, movement)
c- seek to move my body as a source of power into particular spaces where i can lay it down in love
d- guard against despair, apathy, numbing out as ways to medicate my body….”

So please… take a weekend and back away from the news, the posting about it, the outrage of it all. Get your feet back under you. Return to your spiritual practice, mental health practice, get outside in nature (even sitting in your car in nature is good), eat some good food, laugh, dance, play good music…

Put some distance between yourself and the mind control. Let me tell you something.

Dictators and cult leaders use the same tactics. The repetition of what they want you to believe will be echoed nonstop and if you don’t look away and shift what you’re feeding your mind….

Anyway, I think you get the point. Take a day of no scrolling. Take an hour away from the blue screen. Put on some good music for an hour and listen with your eyes closed.

Remember who you are and the power that you do have. This is an attempt to make us feel powerless. Let’s shake ourselves out of this stupor and get back in our power.

Much love to you and yours.

Blessings!

Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist

Need something empowering to listen to? Go to my blog page and safely scroll all day. I have hundreds of posts and podcast episodes. mdillondesigns.com/blog