Your Opinion Has Nothing to Do with Me

Today, I caught myself (well, noticed I was) judging myself by someone else’s standard.

Because this person has been so vocal sharing their opinions of me as as a parent for such a long time, when this morning wasn’t following the typical approved routine, I envisioned what an argument between us would look like.

Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist’s quote: “If I don’t agree with your life philosophy, why should I care about your opinion of me or my life choices?” appears in large, bold white lettering with a dark drop shadow over a woman with natural hair wearing a bright orange sweater, her arms crossed and one hand under her chin as she looks to the side against a pink background. “Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist” appears in white script at the top, @marlenedillonempowerment appears across the lower center, and the footer displays “mdillondesigns.com/blog”
Tap the play button to listen to today’s podcast. Tap & hold first if necessary, then tap play.
FYI I cuss so wait ’til the kids and elders aren’t around. Press play to listen to today’s podcast. Blessings!

I’m not sure if you ever do this, but a little too often I drift off into my imagination and have mock disagreements. They’re usually sparked by events that I know have led to arguments in the past.

Well, anywho, I was having one of these mock arguments in my head and I found myself saying, “Well, I’m just not a good ______ like you.” And that’s when I realized what I’d been doing for years. I was letting their opinion of me—that aligns with the opinion of so many others—seep into me and my opinion of myself, even though I don’t agree with their philosophy. And that realization left me thinking, “Why should I care about your opinion of me and my life choices?” when we are clearly not aligned.

So on today’s podcast I share a few stories (including this one) with this idea in mind that it doesn’t make sense to judge ourselves by someone’s standard while disagreeing with their philosophy.

Get ready to giggle with me. 😂 I may, or may not, have spilled a little tea and shared a little more of my business than expected.

Enjoy! Press play above.

Blessings!

I Get Lonely Too

By Marlene Dillon

When their birthdays come. I feel some kind of way. I prioritized them and they just walked away.

I know it doesn’t matter. And I should feel no shame. But I wonder did I matter. And was I the one to blame.

We have the right to choose. The ones who’re most aligned. But why’s it never me? Why’s it not my time?

I love so fully and completely. I’m always all in. I know they are not like me but I just want to win.

I know they never matched me. I know I tried, ignored. The fact that it’s not working. That I made them my lord.

I lost myself just trying. To keep them near my side. Let go of all that mattered. Ignored my inner guide.

And I don’t want them with me. So bad for me it’s true. But I still get lonely. And if not them then who?

I don’t want them beside me. But once it felt so new. So full of promise, hopeful. Like I got to love, too.

And now I’ve raised my standard. Won’t be with those who lie. Who cheat, pretend to love me. Who use me while I try.

To be the best, their person. Their heart, their reason why. Contort myself, be pretzel. Forget myself, ally.

I help them feel protected, loved, seen, and held and heard. I dote on them, connected, while they say not a word.

I am all in so focused. Become my sun and earth. While they live life, ignore me. So different from at first.

Make me regret my wall’s down. My kindness and my trust. Build that wall up. It’s time now. It was not meant for us.

Through every iteration. I love me more is true. But years of “but it’s my fault” is so hard to undo.

Can see so clear it’s not right. Not meant. Not good for me. But also hear “Not worthy.” And you’ll never be.

Odd words when you empower. But two things can be true. I help you find your power. But I am just like you.

Blessings,

Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist

Sometimes in the mornings I free write. I call it steam of consciousness writing. (I did not coin that term.) It’s a form of writing where you just let the words flow without editing. I love when I’m able to create something like this, a cathartic, honest, beautiful piece that really gets to the soul of me and let’s me unburden through words or rhyme.

I’ve been a little heavy lately, missing companionship. And I guess it needed to come out. Glad I let it.

Thanks for reading. Thanks for being here.

If you don’t know much about me, please take a sec and check out my about page here, or my new connect page (kinda like my linktree) here.

Blessings!

Healing the Inner Me

Over the last few days I’ve been given multiple opportunities to heal old messages that have been running in the background making it hard for me to love myself.

Lately I’ve accepted that my beliefs about myself (thoughts and perceptions that made me feel bad about who and how I am) weren’t my personality flaws. They were actually just symptoms of neurodivergence.

I share my stories because I feel they can be instrumental in helping you—or someone you know—recognize similarities that will also support you in dismantling incorrect and hurtful perceptions of yourself.

Press play to check out today’s podcast episode, or read on for more context, then press play to listen.

Tap the play button to listen to today’s podcast. Tap & hold first if necessary, then tap play.
FYI I cuss so wait ’til the kids and elders aren’t around. Press play to listen to today’s podcast. Blessings!

Yesterday one of the main stories that was being shifted was around self trust. The question I’ve been certain of the answer to for most of my life is am I reliable and the answer was an automatic and very passionate hell no.

After yesterday’s events a two-part story if you will I was convinced that I was reliable when things went right and back to unreliable when things went wrong but a conversation with myself the version of me I refer to as my quote inner adults quotes led me to realize that I don’t only blame myself for the things I do and don’t do I also blame myself for the things that are completely outside of my control.

If you are a person who is very much inclined toward noticing everything you do wrong rather than right, this episode is for you.

The Unsent Letter

A Poem for Unloved Children
by Marlene Dillon

Never thought I’d write this…

Well that’s a lie.
I wrote it.
And sent it.
He intercepted it.

Said it was too harsh
Would’ve hurt you
Or destroyed you
But what did he do
As your words destroyed me?

Funny how time changes
Some things
But some people
Only seem to change
But the strange thing
On deeper inspection is
They remain the same.

I changed
Less resentful
More willing
More mindful
More accepting
More understanding
So. You. Get. More. Peace.

But if I’m the same
And unwilling
And unbending
Constantly reminding
Of how the old you
And how you were then
Is still etched in my brain

Then you’re angry
Like I hit you
I’m all bruises
You play the victim
“I did my best
You were a mess
You had it easier than me.”

I can forgive
And let go
Be the Mature One
Take the high road
Let you be a jerk
And I do the work
While all you do is live

And I’ll give grace
And I’ll be kind
Roll it off my back
One more time
Blame your childhood
Guess your reasons
And smile in your face
……….

And, yeah, they’re still wrong
And they hurt you
And they don’t claim
What you’ve been through
That’s the old them
And that’s on you
They’re taking no blame

And your healing
And your feelings
And the joys…
Hurt’s been stealing
The high love walls
And failed trust falls
Are all yours to bear

Cuz what you know now
You didn’t know then
You’re the lone one
Who’s actively healing
Can’t control them
Gotta let them
And focus on you

So bump the letter
Just forget her
Grieve the version
Who’ll never be her
Release the dream her
See the real her
That’s what helped me feel better.

09/26/26

I let it flow…. so there’s kind of a pattern but also not. I edited half to change pronouns for clarity and to make it more honest. I’m not sure which I preferred, but I liked not getting lost in who’s who once I made those adjustments. Initially “you” was used to refer to multiple people and it made it hard to follow, so I ditched the ambiguity for clarity and I’m okay with that. I’m also okay with seeing this more as journaling with style so it takes the pressure off to be perfect and releases me from the perfectionist urge to go back in and make every other stanza rhyme the same way and follow the same pattern. This way is more honest. And I like to be as authentic as possible, while honoring that I’m gonna read this later and I want it to make sense.

This section was more for me—and to satisfy my inner critic that demands perfection. This is as good as it’s getting and I’m proud of this free flow of poetry. I needed a creative release so this came right on time.

Thanks Dan Tricarico for sharing the writing prompt. This was cathartic.