It’s an amazing thing that happens when you give yourself permission to do the thing others talked you out of. I’m embracing myself, my gifts, my talents, my skills, my abilities, and most of all my right to try.
Investing in canvases was a reach for me. I didn’t feel I was worthy of them, that I would create anything worth looking at. And now I have this piece that I love so much.
Far more stunning in person. Not a huge piece, but a dynamic one. I use neon paints. That means that with a black light you get a next level experience of the painting.
I’m super excited to share this piece with someone in my world who truly gets me and wants to support. Someone who has watched my journey and wants to be a part… no…. who’s already a part and wants to own a piece.
My paintings are very personal to me, very deep, very demonstrative of the uphill battle it is for me to create with the challenges of deep insecurities around my right to be an artist and the struggles of ADHD. The effort it took me mentally to get this done is, and the fact that I DID IT is such a huge triumph.
I am truly an overcomer. And I will keep reminding myself of this one project at a time, one post at a time, one piece at a time, until I truly believe it.
Maybe you can relate. Maybe someone (or many people) told you that you don’t have what it takes, that you should give up on a dream, that what you desire will take too long, too much, or that it’s bigger than you.
First of all, if that has happened to you, I’m sorry. I know that pain. And I know that people’s words can get in and cause us to doubt ourselves and what we believe is possible for us. What I also know is that it’s our life and only we know the burning desire within us to do that thing they feel we’re incapable of. And if that desire has not left us, I believe it’s still ours to embrace.
I always wanted to be an artist. I felt I was talented. Others felt I was talented. But my family didn’t really encourage it. I was compared to the real artist in the family and it was discouraging. So for years, I wanted to create, but didn’t. For years, I thought about painting, but talked myself out of it. For most of my life, I let their words and pitying looks and critiques of my work convince me that I wasn’t good enough. That I wasn’t worth the effort, the supplies, or the attempts. I was convinced they were right.
And then the opportunity came to believe in myself a little. To give it a try. To do the thing they said I couldn’t. To start and let it be okay if I was bad at a for a while. And I’m so glad that I gave myself the opportunity. I’m glad I didn’t let this life end without trying to do what I knew was in me all along. I’m grateful I didn’t let their declarations keep me from this aspect of my destiny.
I began to declare “I am an artist so I should be creating art.” That was the start. I’m not a fan of shoulds so maybe a better version is, “I am an artist so I create art.” And if my mind tries to get in the way and say, “You’re no artist,” I can argue with that OR I can say, “Anyone who creates art is an artist, and ‘art’ is subjective. So if I call it art, it’s art.”
And I share this with you because maybe your mind (or your environment) has convinced you that you don’t get to be, do, or have what you know within you is yours. And I’m not saying that’s the easiest to overcome. But what I am saying is that you can take steps toward it. You can choose to let those beliefs be theirs and not yours. You can secretly believe in yourself, without telling them. It’s not really about them. It’s about what we believe about ourselves and our possibilities.
It’s honestly better not to tell them. Because we give them a new opportunity to rock and challenge our foundation of self-trust and self-belief. It’s better to secretly build ourselves up into believing and trusting ourselves. To take baby steps toward doing that thing that we know is meant for us (if it doesn’t cause harm to anyone else and is centered in love). And as we build up our own belief, their opinions will matter less. We’ll lose that need for their permission to do what’s ours to do. And we’ll give it to ourselves.
This painting was my gift of permission to myself. Sharing it is another layer. Putting a price on it that feels honoring to me is another layer. And selling it is another….
Thank you for being here. Thank you for your support. Thank you for being part of my world… my journey. I hope that I am helping you in some way.
I appreciate you.
Blessings!
Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist
Help this single mom stay off the pole😂
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