Self-Forgiveness: Nothing Wrong with Being Loving

This month has been all about taking it easy—hence the theme for my August 2024 podcast series.

Today, I decided to #takeiteasy on myself, by letting it be okay that I made a mistake. I acknowledged I got hurt and that it’s not my fault. And decided to offer myself compassion for the experience, rather than criticism.

Meme Image of a woman hugging herself. Text states: “When people take advantage of our kind hearts, we often blame ourselves. We are not wrong for being good, kind- hearted people. They are wrong for taking advantage. Instead of self-blame, let’s offer ourselves compassion.”
—  Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist
mdillondesigns.com/blog
Tap the play button or use the links below to listen on your favorite app.
Press play to listen to today’s podcast. FYI I cuss so wait ’til the kids and elders aren’t around. Blessings!

I think that one of the challenges of being on the duped end of a relationship is that we often blame ourselves. However, blame should go to the person who intentionally acted against our best interests.

If someone hurts us, misuses us, or engages with us selfishly, we don’t need to add self blame on top of that pain. We need to offer ourselves love and compassion.

We don’t need to beat ourselves up and feel like fool, or call ourselves “stupid.” We don’t need to go through life carrying that heavy weight of embarrassment and shame.

We get to see ourselves as we were in that moment—with the information we had and acknowledged in that moment—and know that we did our best IN THAT MOMENT… even if the outcome wasn’t for our best.

On today’s podcast, I began to heal, and acknowledge past experiences where I brought, and offered, the best of me to the wrong people. For one of the first times, I acknowledged what happened and did not blame myself for the hurt they caused.

I met myself with compassion and acknowledged that all I did was be myself, and being loving and kind is not wrong.

If you carry pain and hurt over an outcome that you did not intentionally cause, maybe it’s time to begin to forgive yourself.

It may be a process. You may need support, like a therapist or coach, to do it. But carrying that weight of embarrassment, shame, guilt, etc. will make life really heavy for you. And, far too often, the ones carrying all that heaviness are those who were victimized, mistreated, and misused.

Let’s begin to love ourselves, forgive ourselves, and have compassion toward ourselves. And let’s choose relationships that we can walk into with our eyes wide open… ones where we don’t have to ignore what’s before us to make them work… ones that don’t knock us down, but build us up.

Check out today’s podcast episode. It’s a fun and vulnerable one.

Blessings!

Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist

Check it out. Good stuff.
Day 24 “Self-Forgiveness: Nothing Wrong with Being Loving” #TAKEITEASY Share & Let’s Live! #Podcast Series w/ Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist
🎙 SoundCloud: soundcloud.com/marlenedillon
🎙 Audible: https://www.audible.com/podcast/Share-Lets-Live/B0D13JBSJ4
🎙 AmazonMusic: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/15f8ab40-b888-4068-bd05-15239f7eb5ae/share-let’s-live
🎙 Buymeacoffee: https://buymeacoffee.com/marlenedillon/

Blessings!

Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist

*** Learn more about me, Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist! ***


On my blog and Share & Let’s Live! podcast, I share tips and tools that are transforming my life and mindset every single day. If you appreciate this FREE daily blog/podcast (and are able), please consider sending a tip via Buymeacoffee. It’s a great way to support without breaking the bank. (No pressure, of course. If you’re unable, please know I understand.)


*** Note: Due to recent technical challenges (I need a new computer), I may not post a podcast every day. I will still try to post a blog and podcast as close to daily as possible. Scroll down my Blog Page or SoundCloud to listen to hundreds of previous podcast episodes. ***

Thank you so much for being here! Thank you for reading and listening. And double thank you for liking, commenting, and subscribing! It means so much to me that you’re connecting with what I share. 🥰

Bye Felicia: Letting Go of Toxic Relationships

Now this episode is more storytelling than usual, but I believe there are some lessons you can gain about letting go of unhealthy relationships.

"When people don't value what you offer, you get to decide if they should continue to benefit from your presence." —Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist mdillondesigns.com/blog
Tap the play button or use the links below to listen on your favorite app.
Press play to listen to today’s podcast. FYI I cuss so wait ’til the kids and elders aren’t around. Blessings!

Like I’ve said before, Dr. Maya Angelou said we should believe them the first time when they show us who they are. And I, honestly, am not there. I tend to hope the first one is a fluke, so I give them another opportunity… with observation. I watch them and see what they do, because now I’m on high alert. If it shows up again, then I have decisions to make.

In today’s story, I talk about someone I gave one too many chances to and they showed me not to doubt what I saw that first time. The story is relatable and entertaining and I threw in a bonus episode for the plot. lol (When you listen, you’ll understand.)

Check it out. Good stuff.
Day 23 “Bye Felicia: Letting Go of Toxic Relationships” #TAKEITEASY Share and Let’s Live! #Podcast Series w/ Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist
🎙 SoundCloud: soundcloud.com/marlenedillon
🎙 Audible: https://www.audible.com/podcast/Share-Lets-Live/B0D13JBSJ4
🎙 AmazonMusic: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/15f8ab40-b888-4068-bd05-15239f7eb5ae/share-let’s-live
🎙 Buymeacoffee: https://buymeacoffee.com/marlenedillon/

Blessings!

Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist

*** Learn more about me, Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist! ***


On my blog and Share & Let’s Live! podcast, I share tips and tools that are transforming my life and mindset every single day. If you appreciate this FREE daily blog/podcast (and are able), please consider sending a tip via Buymeacoffee. It’s a great way to support without breaking the bank. (No pressure, of course. If you’re unable, please know I understand.)


*** Note: Due to recent technical challenges (I need a new computer), I may not post a podcast every day. I will still try to post a blog and podcast as close to daily as possible. Scroll down my Blog Page or SoundCloud to listen to hundreds of previous podcast episodes. ***

Thank you so much for being here! Thank you for reading and listening. And double thank you for liking, commenting, and subscribing! It means so much to me that you’re connecting with what I share. 🥰

I’m Neurodivergent NOT Lazy & Inconsistent

I went most of my life feeling insecure and inadequate for the ways I didn’t measure up to those around me. I was getting A’s, but couldn’t sound out words. Getting A’s on tests, but always forgetting my homework. In school, when you’re achieving at or above grade, they assume you don’t need services. I was struggling and no one knew it.

Meme Image of 9 identical fish facing the same direction with one more colorful fish facing the other direction. Text states: “Most of my life I felt like a failure. I had no idea that I was neurodivergent.  internalized criticism and believed I was stupid, lazy, and inconsistent. I now know that my challenges were actually symptoms & signs, not character flaws.
— Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist Share & Let's Live! Podcast logo watermark
mdillondesigns.com/blog
Tap the play button or use the links below to listen on your favorite app.
Press play to listen to today’s podcast. FYI I cuss so wait ’til the kids and elders aren’t around. Blessings!

So when I messed up, the criticism I’d receive, was etched deep into my self-concept. They told me I was lazy, but I turns out that I was dealing with low dopamine. They told me I was scatterbrained and inconsistent. Turns out I have ADHD. When I struggled to complete large projects, I had no idea I was struggling with executive dysfunction.

My entire concept of who I am was steeped in messages of failure and inadequacy. No wonder my self-esteem was so low.

So I am grateful for my former therapist who noticed the issues I was dealing with were NOT character flaws, and were not due to laziness. They were not due to a lack of drive, or because I lacked ambition. The symptoms and signs I was dealing with were actually consistent with neurodivergence. And I had NO IDEA.

I had struggled my whole life wondering why things that were easy for everybody else were sooo hard for me—why a 15 minute task took me 5 months, or even 5 years to complete.

I just felt bad about myself on top of dealing with the outside criticism, and dealing with the results of not doing the things that needed to be done.

Whether it was family or well-meaning business coaches, I gained so many discouraging messages about my potential not matching my output.

Sometimes a compliment feels like a gut punch. When someone says, “If I had half your talent, I’d be rich or president,” it doesn’t come across as “Wow. You’re so gifted. That’s amazing.” It comes across as, “You’re such a waste of talent.” And that’s how I’ve felt most of my life…. like a waste of talent.

And this is why it’s important who you connect yourself to. My dear friend, a brilliant coach, Sunshine Boatright, regularly posts about ADHD. I happened to see one of her posts and it led me to begin to question the possibility that I am neurodivergent. At the same time, my therapist was gently (and regularly) suggesting that I consider being assessed. After seeing Sunshine’s post that resonated with me, I decided to go ahead and sign up for testing.

The journey after that has been… a blessing. I found out that I’d been neurodivergent my whole life and that knowledge began a new healing journey for me. My last two therapists have helped me to rebuild my sense of self by acknowledging that my challenges weren’t character flaws. They were results of being neurodivergent.

I could say more, but then you won’t listen to the podcast. lol
So check out the podcast. Maybe it’ll help you or someone you know.

Blessings!

Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist

Day 22 “I’m Neurodivergent NOT Lazy & Inconsistent” #TAKEITEASY Share & Let’s Live! #Podcast Series w/ Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist
🎙 SoundCloud: soundcloud.com/marlenedillon
🎙 Audible: https://www.audible.com/podcast/Share-Lets-Live/B0D13JBSJ4
🎙 AmazonMusic: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/15f8ab40-b888-4068-bd05-15239f7eb5ae/share-let’s-live
🎙 Buymeacoffee: https://buymeacoffee.com/marlenedillon/

Blessings!

Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist

*** Learn more about me, Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist! ***


On my blog and Share & Let’s Live! podcast, I share tips and tools that are transforming my life and mindset every single day. If you appreciate this FREE daily blog/podcast (and are able), please consider sending a tip via Buymeacoffee. It’s a great way to support without breaking the bank. (No pressure, of course. If you’re unable, please know I understand.)


*** Note: Due to recent technical challenges (I need a new computer), I may not post a podcast every day. I will still try to post a blog and podcast as close to daily as possible. Scroll down my Blog Page or SoundCloud to listen to hundreds of previous podcast episodes. ***

Thank you so much for being here! Thank you for reading and listening. And double thank you for liking, commenting, and subscribing! It means so much to me that you’re connecting with what I share. 🥰

When They Show You Who They Are

Dr. Maya Angelou said that “when a person shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” I, admittedly, am not there, yet. However, when they show me who they are, I certainly put that moment in their file.

Meme: Image closeup of someone's hands as they're searching through files in a file cabinet. Text states: "“When people show you who they are...
... put it in their file. Don’t play yourself. You saw what you saw. You heard what you heard. Note it.”
—  Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist
mdillondesigns.com/blog
Tap the play button or use the links below to listen on your favorite app.
Press play to listen to today’s podcast. FYI I cuss so wait ’til the kids and elders aren’t around. Blessings!

I don’t have to hold grudges, but I do hold facts. The right kind of facts and you’re no longer invited to the party that is me.

On today’s podcast, I talk about this concept and challenge you to pay attention to what you learn about people…. not rumors… the facts. And then judge yourself accordingly.

Check out today’s podcast. It’s hilarious!
(Remember, I season my podcasts well… with cussing, lol.)

Day 21 “When They Show You Who They Are” #TAKEITEASY Share & Let’s Live! #Podcast Series w/ Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist
🎙 SoundCloud: soundcloud.com/marlenedillon
🎙 Audible: https://www.audible.com/podcast/Share-Lets-Live/B0D13JBSJ4
🎙 AmazonMusic: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/15f8ab40-b888-4068-bd05-15239f7eb5ae/share-let’s-live
🎙 Buymeacoffee: https://buymeacoffee.com/marlenedillon/

Blessings!

Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist

*** Learn more about me, Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist! ***


On my blog and Share & Let’s Live! podcast, I share tips and tools that are transforming my life and mindset every single day. If you appreciate this FREE daily blog/podcast (and are able), please consider sending a tip via Buymeacoffee. It’s a great way to support without breaking the bank. (No pressure, of course. If you’re unable, please know I understand.)


*** Note: Due to recent technical challenges (I need a new computer), I may not post a podcast every day. I will still try to post a blog and podcast as close to daily as possible. Scroll down my Blog Page or SoundCloud to listen to hundreds of previous podcast episodes. ***

Thank you so much for being here! Thank you for reading and listening. And double thank you for liking, commenting, and subscribing! It means so much to me that you’re connecting with what I share. 🥰