Let’s Live While We Have Life

Today, I realized how much I put my life on hold…. how I am merely existing because of fear.

Meme: Background mage of a beach, sand with wave foam on it. Text states: “Am I the only one who’s tired of just existing and not really living? Let’s live while we have life.” —Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist mdillondesigns.com/blog
Press play to listen to today’s podcast episode that goes with this blog post and meme! BTW, I cuss, so listen when the kids aren’t around.

The amazing thing that I realized as I was recording today’s podcast is that the main fear that gets in my way is the fear of interrupting my flow.

I am a creative person. My primary purposes on this earth are centered around creating and being in a flow state. One of the hardest things on earth for me is to get in a flow state when I know I’ll be interrupted.

This is a HUGE realization for me. I now see that when it comes to being creative, I’m not stuck or stagnant. I am in need of planning uninterrupted time for creating.

And maybe you feel stuck in your life and your ideas seem to have dried up. Maybe it’s not that you’re stuck. Maybe your mind is waiting for you to provide the right environment and atmosphere for your ideas to flow.

Where do you feel most alive? What do you see, hear, smell, experience that causes your creative juices to flow? In what small or large way can you access/plan for that this week?

If you listen to my podcast you know that I often have rain and water sounds playing in the background. Being by water inspires me. However, sitting by water or walking along the beach is not always readily accessible. So I go on YouTube and search for videos of rivers, streams, beaches, etc. And I stare at the water and listen to the waves.

Sometimes the mind isn’t as picky as we think. We feel we need to GO on vacation (and trust me I get that because I haven’t been away since July of 2020). But the mind may get calm from watching beach videos on your flat screen, while you put your feet up and enjoy a virgin cocktail at home.

We may have to set new boundaries and put ourselves on our schedules. Especially if you work from home, boundary setting is so important. I know for myself, I need to feel less guilty (not at all is ideal… but baby steps) about not being available. I do not like saying, “No,” to people.

It upsets me when I see a disappointed reaction on someone’s face because I didn’t say, or do, what they hoped. AND I am learning to be more okay with that every day. I have to. Because if I don’t master this, I’m never going to have time to enjoy my life. And that’s no longer acceptable.

You may need to decide what you need in order to be more you. This awareness today is a big one for me. So now my work is to put ME on MY schedule.

Blessings!

Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist

Mourning Past Beliefs

Press play to listen to today’s podcast episode that goes with this blog post and meme! BTW, I cuss, so listen when the kids aren’t around.

What do you do when you realize some of the beliefs you’ve held your whole life aren’t true? What do you do when the words that once comforted you are nothing more than empty promises? How do you process life when what you used to hold on to… doesn’t hold up to scrutiny?

Well, this where I was yesterday. And it was really emotional for me. The disappointment of feeling like a fool for the decades of putting my hope in nonsense, coupled with the frustration of watching unethical people win (while I lose)… The unfairness of it all was too much for me. Even the concept of what is “fair” and my need to now define it was all I could think about.

Needless to say, I cried yesterday… more than I knew my body was capable of crying. I had to close and lock my door because I couldn’t control it. One thought and I’d be bawling again.

Releasing what I believed not only affected my present. It also impacts my future. I had to release hopeful expectations that I to those beliefs. And then I had to accept that new beliefs needed to replace the old. And that really broke me down.

After giving 40 years, I didn’t want to have to start over with new beliefs. That’s what really got me crying.

It wasn’t truly until this morning that I realized what was truly happening. I was mourning my past beliefs…. I had to release the (inner) embarrassment that I believed that sh*t for so long. I had to accept all that it meant to find those beliefs to be false.
had attached that in order to move forward my life, I have to fully accept that what I used to believe just doesn’t work AND that the new thing lot of the words people had fed me over the years in the form of encouragement, really held no weight….

And because I am decent human being, who is not a “misery loves company” type, I won’t tell you which beliefs no longer support me. I want you to have all the hope in the world. If you are meant to come to these conclusions, you’ll get here on your own time. You’re welcome.

And with that said, as we go through life, we have experiences that may rock our core beliefs so painfully that we’ll never see things the way again.

What I learned yesterday…. well, really as I processed things today…. is that we need to allow ourselves to transition. We need to give ourselves the grace to not stop on a dime and pivot to the new beliefs. We may need to take a day (or a month) to mourn.

We move on so quickly from things. Let’s give ourselves time to accept what isn’t before we go on to redefine what is.

Blessings,

Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist

Accepting Our Own Boundaries

“Sometimes we are the ones who need to make peace with our boundaries because we feel guilty for putting ourselves first.” — Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist Check out today's empowering #podcast episode below.
Press play to listen to today’s podcast episode that goes with this blog post and meme! BTW, I cuss, so listen when the kids aren’t around.

Day 26 “Accepting Our Own Boundaries” #MARCH4WARD Share & Let’s Share and Let’s Live! #Podcast Series w/ Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist

“Sometimes we are the ones who need to make peace with our boundaries because we feel guilty for putting ourselves first.”
— Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist

Check out today’s empowering #podcast episode!

OR on #SoundCloud
https://soundcloud.com/marlenedillon/day-26-accepting-our-own-boundaries-march4ward-share-lets-live-podcast?si=66978c3ba6204837943d4ccce4126ca2&utm_source=clipboard&utm_medium=text&utm_campaign=social_sharing

Are You Present in Your Life Story?

How available are you for everyone else? How available are you for yourself? Do you feel guilty for not being available for others? Do you feel the same about not making time for yourself?

Press play to listen to today’s podcast episode that goes with this blog post and meme! BTW, I cuss, so listen when the kids aren’t around.

Today, I realized that I primarily show up as a supporting character in everyone else’s drama, and I’m rarely on set for my own show.

That visual hit me during the podcast—that I can look at the people in my life as having their own shows. And I have my own show. So if I am spending more time playing supporting roles in everyone’s drama, I’m never really on my own set!

And I honestly don’t know what to do with that. I’m not going to lie and say I have the answer on how to fix this. I literally just realized it today while recording my podcast.

One thing I learned from an amazing coach some time ago is that awareness is the most important thing. Just recognizing a behavior or thought pattern that we didn’t realize was happening is a win in itself….

I admit that as a woman, as a mom, as a single mom… of an only child… I am definitely societally conditioned to be primarily not on my own set. The more we sacrifice and make ourselves available is how we show we’re good at being women, friends, moms, partners, spouses, etc. I’m not saying I agree with this, just that I’ve definitely been conditioned by it.

The good thing, though, is that some years ago it hit me that I am here for more than to be a mom. Mom is just one of my titles. Currently it’s my most important and most prioritized one, but there are other aspects of me, too. I have primarily just focused on the supporting roles I am to play in other’s lives, but today that image of my vacant set helped me remember I am here for more than to be a daughter, a friend, a partner… a fill in the blank.

At some point, I get to be the main character in my own story. And now that I have this awareness, I get to start thinking about what that looks like. What am I putting last that needs to creep up to first? What obligations do I need to release? What responsibilities do I need to start delegating or phasing out?

It’s probably going to require me to set some uncomfortable boundaries and have some uncomfortable conversations. I’m going to likely have to be willing to look like I’m a bad friend, mother, partner, etc. I’m gonna have to be okay being on other people’s sets for shorter amounts of time. And I’m going to have to remember, and even rediscover, the theme of my own show.

And maybe this resonates with you and you realize you have been primarily off set. Don’t feel bad about that. We did what we thought was best at that time and now that we see room for a shift, we are allowing ourselves to process that, think about that, and gradually take steps toward shifting the balance of where we show up the most. And we will give ourselves grace because it’s not always an easy shift (especially if you’re a caregiver and have someone who needs you and relies on you consistently).

So this isn’t about cussing everyone out and saying, “You’re on your own! I need to get back to my set!” It’s really about being aware of it and just noticing the big and small ways we can spend more time as the main character in our lives.

If this resonates with you, check out today’s episode. The recording is above (beneath the meme). And you’ll get the awesome bonus of a good minute of hilarious laughter when I had a less deep discovery during the podcast. LMAO

I hope this helps you. If it resonates, feel free to leave me a comment below, and of course, like this post. Thanks so much.

Have an amazing whatever time of day it is where you are.

Blessings!

Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist