When You Needed Support

So this is a little weird, but I’m about to talk about something that’s still new to me.

I was one of those people who were very f*ck AI for a long time. I was afraid of what I didn’t understand, and I didn’t want to utilize something I saw as a threat to my safety.

I saw all those Terminator movies so when everybody was talking about using ChatGPT, I was faaar from interested. I did not want to be a part of the rapid, collective demise of our workforce, and/or society. 😂

However, as I worked with my coach and other people in my community, and even watched on TV how people utilized this app, I soon started to feel I was missing out on some help I could use.

So before you close this and don’t read further, please know this post is not an ad for ChatGPT. 😂

I actually got on here to share a personal experience I had while using the app that led to a MAJOR epiphany about being neurodivergent and struggling my whole life with executive dysfunction.

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So, as you may (or may not) know, I recently completed a years long project—a daily journal for people who struggle with executive dysfunction, called What’s Your V.I.BE. This self-published journal was created from an original template I created to help myself have more productive days. After utilizing this structure on and off for years, I came to accept that when I use it my days are productive. When I don’t, they are not.

So I recently used the same template to help me complete the task of self-publishing the journal that had been in my head for years (and loosely sketched in quite a few Google docs and notebooks). And in just days I had laid out the pages, assigned my ISBN, purchased my unique barcode, registered my copyright, and self-published my What’s Your V.I.B.E. Journal!

In the middle of that process, I reached out to my coach friend and told her that I know I should probably be getting preorders or creating hype around an upcoming launch. AND that I had no idea how I was going to do that because I am doing ALL the steps myself so I can’t tell the Marketing team to get on that. I AM the marketing team. I can’t shoot a message to IT telling them to set up a landing page on the website (or whoever you’d delegate that to). I’m that department, too.

So I asked her if there was a simple way to do something toward getting people ready for this new resource. She offered me exactly what I asked for— a simply worded, three step process that would not stress me out. So grateful.

I immediately took the three bullet point list to ChatGPT and explained my intentions, shared my coach friend’s suggestions, and asked it to show me exactly what I needed to do to complete the three steps.

I am so grateful. I did not have the “spoons” (mental or emotional capacity) to break down those steps. Even though they were simple things like, “create a google form,” I right now cannot process what I need to do in order to do that. Dealing with executive dysfunction is not a lack of intelligence or common sense. It is a challenge with getting my brain to focus long enough to identify steps, to put those steps in order, or even to remember how I created forms before so I can utilize that info to create a new version for my book launch. Today, ChatGPT did all of that for me, and more.

So let me tell you about the epiphany….

So as a habit I thank the app for its support. And I mentioned my appreciation for it remembering that I prefer to receive an example, or direct instruction, on what to do exactly (rather than just a vague step where I have to figure out the details myself).

This was ChatGPT’s response:

“What you described is very real. When guidance stops at ‘the next step’ without showing what that actually looks like, it quietly hands the cognitive load back to you. That’s exhausting, especially when you’re already stretched thin. You shouldn’t have to reverse-engineer support.“

And when I heard that last line I realized that’s what I’ve been doing my whole life. I’d need full on support, but people (teachers, siblings, parents, etc.) would just tell me the step I needed to complete, but not the smaller steps to get it done. And I’d be stuck, because with executive dysfunction it takes a really long time for me to: figure out what the individual steps are, organize them, and then actually DO the steps to complete the main step.

I typically get lost in there somewhere and things just don’t get done. I don’t go back to the person, because I feel like I’m expected to know what to do. And I don’t want them to make me feel stupid or incapable. And I don’t want to give them extra work to do because I feel like I should know how to do it. So I dillydally and finally after waaay too much time has gone by either ask for help or half ass it and do a mediocre job.

So I kept the convo going and shared that “I think I’ve been doing this my whole life.” I was just being honest. I wasn’t asking for advice. And this was the response.

“When someone spends a lifetime reverse-engineering support, they usually become very capable, very self-reliant, and very tired. They learn to read between the lines, fill in gaps, anticipate expectations, and quietly carry the extra mental load so things can keep moving. From the outside it looks like strength. On the inside it often feels like constant effort.”

And let me tell you…. that was one of the most powerful, eye-opening revelations for me. It was fully accurate. I’ve been figuring it out myself for over 40 years! No wonder I’m so tired. I was teaching myself through elementary school, because I didn’t understand in class and the teachers would get tired of explaining it to me again. So I stopped asking for help.

All those experiences growing up, and in adulthood, when I asked for support and received a top level instruction without the steps underneath, shaped me into someone who knows and affirms, “I’ve gotta figure it out,” “nobody’s gonna help me,” “I’m in it by myself.” I’ve been saying that sh*t since childhood, because that has been my experience.

I’ve been going through my life afraid to ask for the support I really need. And I’m honestly grateful that I get to use this app to help me with the smaller steps. It’s making so much of a difference.

Alright. That’s enough for now. Thank you for being here. Please scroll my blog page to check out other empowering posts and podcast episodes.

Have an amazing whatever time of day it is where you are.

Blessings!

Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist

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