Be Unapologetically You, It’s Easier

Once middle school hits, we start to transform into whoever we think others want us to be. We desire to fit in and to achieve, so we morph and contort and strive to be more, until we wake up one day in our 40s and don’t even know we are any more.

Press play to listen to today’s podcast. FYI I cuss so wait ’til the kids and elders aren’t around. Blessings!

Today, I realized the source of much of my misery is this needing to be who I think “they” want me to be. It’s this need to fit in to what society deems as the standard. An utter nothingness that is really hard to nail down with words, but I’m painfully aware that I’m not it, and that I’m definitely not doing it how “they” do it.

I came across a note I made for myself about my design… MY vision for my life…. MY purpose and so on. The wildest part is that I didn’t find it in an old dusty shoebox in an attic or under my bed. It was written in bold colors, with bold letters, on a gigantic sheet of card stock on the wall of my bedroom.

One day, while I was fully in alignment with the truth of myself, I wrote this reminder to myself of who I am, why I’m here, what I want the next phase of my life to look like, and so on. And I completely ignored it because of the noise in my mind.

I saw it today because it was right in front of me as I danced out of bed. As I moved from side to side, I was at eye level with it and I read part of it and remembered who I am and how I’m designed. And I realized in that moment, that I have been so frustrated and so discouraged with where I am in life, because I’ve been trying to succeed outside of my design. I wasn’t doing it my way. I was following the should’s.

Today, I share on the podcast about my discovery and about the necessity of recognizing who we are, and who we’re not. We don’t have to do it like “them.” Who are “they” anyway? By this point in our lives, we have some clue of what works for us and what doesn’t, what’s natural, what’s uphill, what we love and what we hate. On this episode, I encourage myself and you to stop trying to be anyone but ourselves. I have a feeling life will get a lot easier for us that way.

Maybe there’ll be some uncomfortable moments on the front end, as people meet the real us. But once we get through that…. sweet freedom. Sounds blissful to me.

If this sounds blissful to you, check out today’s episode!

Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist

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Listen to today’s episode on SoundCloud!
Day 23 “Be Unapologetically You, It’s Easier” #ONYOURMIND Share & Let’s Live! #Podcast Series w/ Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist

Drifting Much? Tips on Shifting Your Focus

Today, I found myself drifting into thoughts that weren’t serving me. Instead of getting upset with myself, I simply said to myself, “Drifting much?” and fell out laughing.

Press play to listen to today’s podcast. FYI I cuss so wait ’til the kids and elders aren’t around. Blessings!

Sometimes we’re too hard on ourselves as we address habits on our personal growth journeys. We’re not always going to get it right. The work is challenging enough. We don’t need to be mean to ourselves on top of it.

When you catch yourself drifting into old thought patterns, you can simply pull yourself back into the present moment with a fun statement like, “Drifting much?” It worked for me.

Check out today’s podcast (above or below)!

Blessings!

Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist

Day 22 “Drifting Much? Tips on Shifting Your Focus” #ONYOURMIND Share & Let’s Live! #Podcast Series w/ Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist

Nothing Wrong with Being Positive

The longer I’m on social media the more I realize that there is somebody, some group, that will find fault with anything. If it’s good, it’s not good enough, or it’s too good. And sometimes there is validity and value to the statements, and other times it needs to be looked at on a case-by-case basis.

Press play to listen to today’s podcast. FYI I cuss so wait ’til the kids and elders aren’t around. Blessings!

For some people, feeling all your feelings and sitting with them is not the best advice. I’m not looking to debate. I’m just saying, not everybody has the capacity to do that. Sometimes people choose to go numb about things for their own sanity. Sometimes people put off processing things for a time when they have the proper supports in place, and safe space to process, all of what that encompasses.

Have you ever decided to do some deep cleaning, or got fed up with a junky closet and decided “today is the day” and then 2 hours in realized you effed up? You didn’t have it in you to do all of that. You don’t even have it in you to stuff all you didn’t organize back into the closet.

Sometimes it can be like that with past trauma, and events we’re currently dealing with. We don’t always have the mental space, emotional availability, or proper supports in place to process it all. And sometimes we may wait until we have the room to properly clear that sh*t out.

I don’t feel that on top of experiencing the trauma, and on top of living with the trauma, that we also need people guilting us for not dealing with the trauma.

Usually there are signs that it’s time to start considering a plan for working through issues. And I’m not saying that if you feel compelled to work through some sh*t that you shouldn’t do it. I’m actually saying the opposite.

I’m saying that usually there’s something within us that says, “It’s time.” Granted, sometimes it helps to have someone suggest, encourage, or even book the appointment, AND we often get there on our own. We start to feel that nudge—whether it’s a post we saw that resonated, or we heard a friend mention the progress they’re making with a therapist, or life coach. Or even that we keep getting angrier, or waking up / going to bed crying. Or we’re leaning heavy on that vice—whether it’s alcohol, mandatory wake and bakes, s*x, or even church. We find ourselves OVERLY escaping….

On today’s podcast, I address the reality that for some of us, we are choosing to be positive and happy because we’ve spent so much of our lives focused on the other end of the emotional spectrum. If you’ve spent the bulk of your life depressed, you don’t want someone telling you all about “positivity culture” because you are now choosing to focus on the good.

I personally spent most of my life depressed. It wasn’t always 100%, but I was typically 60% or above on a daily basis. This month, I decided to be really intentional about doing what makes me happy, focusing on the good, and expecting things to work out. For me, the learning curve is steep. And I have to resist the urge to feel “wrong” for shifting my focus off of the less pleasurable emotions to being happy.

I shared this post and this podcast episode for people like me who are new trying out this happiness stuff and need to know we’re not wrong for that. I hope this helps. And if it does, please share.

Blessings!

Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist

Listen on SoundCloud!
Day 21 “Nothing Wrong With Being Positive” #ONYOURMIND Share & Let’s Live! #Podcast Series w/ Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist

Proving Your Worth

I saw a post the other day about how people who’ve experienced a particular form of trauma tend to do things in relationships to show they are valuable and needed.

Press play to listen to today’s podcast. FYI I cuss so wait ’til the kids and elders aren’t around. Blessings!

I had never heard of such a thing, but it caught my attention. It made me think about my own behavior and how I show up in relationships. Do I go out of my way to prove my value?

Well… today, I caught myself doing it. Yep. I tell you all about it on today’s podcast. You might be able to relate to this so check it out and if it resonates, please share.

Check out today’s episode!

Blessings!

Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist

Listen on SoundCloud!
Day 20 “Proving Your Worth” #ONYOURMIND Share & Let’s Live! #Podcast Series w/ Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist