The longer I’m on social media the more I realize that there is somebody, some group, that will find fault with anything. If it’s good, it’s not good enough, or it’s too good. And sometimes there is validity and value to the statements, and other times it needs to be looked at on a case-by-case basis.
For some people, feeling all your feelings and sitting with them is not the best advice. I’m not looking to debate. I’m just saying, not everybody has the capacity to do that. Sometimes people choose to go numb about things for their own sanity. Sometimes people put off processing things for a time when they have the proper supports in place, and safe space to process, all of what that encompasses.
Have you ever decided to do some deep cleaning, or got fed up with a junky closet and decided “today is the day” and then 2 hours in realized you effed up? You didn’t have it in you to do all of that. You don’t even have it in you to stuff all you didn’t organize back into the closet.
Sometimes it can be like that with past trauma, and events we’re currently dealing with. We don’t always have the mental space, emotional availability, or proper supports in place to process it all. And sometimes we may wait until we have the room to properly clear that sh*t out.
I don’t feel that on top of experiencing the trauma, and on top of living with the trauma, that we also need people guilting us for not dealing with the trauma.
Usually there are signs that it’s time to start considering a plan for working through issues. And I’m not saying that if you feel compelled to work through some sh*t that you shouldn’t do it. I’m actually saying the opposite.
I’m saying that usually there’s something within us that says, “It’s time.” Granted, sometimes it helps to have someone suggest, encourage, or even book the appointment, AND we often get there on our own. We start to feel that nudge—whether it’s a post we saw that resonated, or we heard a friend mention the progress they’re making with a therapist, or life coach. Or even that we keep getting angrier, or waking up / going to bed crying. Or we’re leaning heavy on that vice—whether it’s alcohol, mandatory wake and bakes, s*x, or even church. We find ourselves OVERLY escaping….
On today’s podcast, I address the reality that for some of us, we are choosing to be positive and happy because we’ve spent so much of our lives focused on the other end of the emotional spectrum. If you’ve spent the bulk of your life depressed, you don’t want someone telling you all about “positivity culture” because you are now choosing to focus on the good.
I personally spent most of my life depressed. It wasn’t always 100%, but I was typically 60% or above on a daily basis. This month, I decided to be really intentional about doing what makes me happy, focusing on the good, and expecting things to work out. For me, the learning curve is steep. And I have to resist the urge to feel “wrong” for shifting my focus off of the less pleasurable emotions to being happy.
I shared this post and this podcast episode for people like me who are new trying out this happiness stuff and need to know we’re not wrong for that. I hope this helps. And if it does, please share.
Blessings!
Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist
Listen on SoundCloud!
Day 21 “Nothing Wrong With Being Positive” #ONYOURMIND Share & Let’s Live! #Podcast Series w/ Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist
MDillon Designs & Publishing 