One of the reasons I’m getting so good at holding my boundaries unapologetically, is that I’ve watched people disappoint me for their priorities my whole life.
It sounds bad, or negative, or whatever, but the reality is that my whole life people have put me last and expected me to get over it. So for the longest time (read as “until a few days ago”) I did everything in my power to not let people experience that kind of disappointment at my hands.
I said, “Yes,” when I wanted to say, “No.” I agreed to do things I didn’t want to do. I went along with other people’s programs regardless of how I felt, or how it inconvenienced me.
And then, I started to pay attention. I noticed how easily other people said, “No,” to me when it didn’t serve them to say, “Yes.” I noticed how people threw me under the bus to save themselves. I noticed how even those who sacrificed for me, had limits. I saw how my catastrophes, did not become their emergencies. I noticed how my priorities did not imply their compliance. I noticed how many times I had to do it on my own, or figure it out, and it did not matter to them.
And that’s when I started to slowly release myself from the people pleasing habit. I realized that the same ones who I’d break my back to please, did not nearly equally reciprocate. And instead of remaining angry at what I noticed, I let it free me.
Just like you can say, “No,” to me, unapologetically, I can begin to say, “No,” to you. I don’t have to do it out of spite. I can just do it when the answer is truly, “No.” I can begin to honor my truths, and free myself, and release the need to “keep you happy.”
And that’s another thing…. I realized how fleeting their happiness was when I did what I thought they wanted. I could do it “right,” and their happiness didn’t last. I could choose what they’ve always liked and find out that they stopped liking that without warning. I could go out of my way to put a smile on their face, and it still didn’t keep it there. And finally that got really exhausting.
This year… (yes, you read that right.. THIS YEAR… like weeks ago… if that) I accepted that other people’s happiness is not my responsibility. My entire life, I thought it was. And I was running myself ragged trying to keep people happy, trying to keep people happy with me, trying to keep people from experiencing pain.
I tried so hard and failed at it so many times. I really thought it was my role and responsibility, so I, of course, felt like a failure. I wasn’t living out my purpose—well, yeah, I was, in the cracks of time I found between trying to keep a smile on everyone’s face. I was so externally focused.
Well, if you haven’t seen this month’s theme for my podcast, it’s called, “#TAKEITEASY.” This month, I’m taking the pressure off myself by releasing the things that I’ve been holding on to that make my life harder than it has to be. Whether it’s behaviors and beliefs, relationships and rules, or just masks I’ve maintained, I’m letting them all go.
I’m going to feel so much lighter at the end of this month. And I’m so excited about it.
If you’ve tried to check out my podcast in the past, but found it challenging, or have never tried, it’s so much easier to access now. Due to challenges with my computer, I am releasing the pressure of saying I definitely will post a podcast every day. However, I typically post a podcast episode or blog post daily on my website at mdillondesigns.com/blog and I think you will love it.
I share stories, self-empowerment, encouragement, tips, tools, and inspiration, with my motto at the core (that I.U.S.E. people—Inspire, Uplift, Support, Encourage & Empower).
Some people swing by daily to get a bit of inspiration for the day. I think it’s really cool. I hope that you’ll swing by one day and get something for yourself.
As a warning, I am very real and honest. I cuss on my podcast, so choose your environment wisely. 😆
Anywho, just woke up from a nap with that on my mind and thought I’d share.
This is Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist with Share and Let’s Live! Have an amazing whatever time of day it is where you are.
Blessings!
Check out today’s podcast episode, as well as previous episodes (and blog posts) here: 🎙 WordPress: mdillondesigns.com/blog
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🎙 Audible: https://www.audible.com/podcast/Share-Lets-Live/B0D13JBSJ4
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*** Learn more about me, Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist! ***
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