Reconnect to Your Why

Just because you’re functional, doesn’t mean you’re living in purpose. Many of us are robotically navigating life based on a program that was given to us that is not aligned with our true purpose, and we feel disconnected.

Press play to listen to today’s podcast episode that goes with this blog post and meme! I cuss so listen when the kids aren’t around.

Every once in a while we may connect with that thing and feel connection and joy but we don’t realize that it’s not just because we appreciate that others did it but that we would like to add well. 

I remember someone said I should dance. I laughed a bit thinking, “I know I say, ‘I. LOVE. DANCE. All dance’, but I just mean I love to watch others do it.” But after that moment, I began to wonder if appreciation for it runs deeper. What if within me less a dancer?

And, am I too late? Is it too late to reclaim your dream that you forgot about? Or is it possible to do it differently… in a way that aligns with who you are now. 

Just because you’re no longer fit to be an Alvin Ailey dancer, doesn’t mean that you can’t dance or even perform before crowds. Just because you never walked across the stage and got your diploma, doesn’t mean you can’t finish high school. Just because you never birthed kids off your own, doesn’t mean you can’t be a mother.

So many of us give up our dreams because they change form. We have such a clear picture of what we always wanted to do that the details of our dreams keep us from remembering our why. 

Reconnecting with our why is how we reclaim our past dreams in the present.

Maybe back in the day you wanted to be a graffiti artist. You loved seeing all the tags and art on buildings, bridges and trucks. You resonated with those artists’ desire to create on a large blank canvas. 

But now you’re over 40, and a law-abiding citizen with a family. You’re not about to go out and spray paint a building. But when you see murals, you can’t help but get excited and feel that longing within for the dream you never actualized.

This is when you connect to your why. Yes, you love seeing these.. And yes you used to want to do it. But why did you want to do it?

With a little soul searching, you may discover that your why is that “it’s exciting to create on a big blank canvas.” Your why could be that, “it’s exciting to see my work displayed publicly.” And it might even be that “It’s exciting to sit back and observe people’s various responses to my art without truly Knowing who the artist is.” That mystery around your art feels fun for you.

So you look back at your why’s and realize that all of those reasons are possible now—with a little creativity. Maybe you could create something on a large canvas. Just like with graffiti, the”canvas” is simply a space. Maybe you own your home and could paint a wall in the basement, garage, or a bedroom. Maybe you could go to a discount store and buy a white sheet and some paints and have at it. Maybe you could create an IG account and your own unique artist name and post your creations “anonymously.”

I think you see where I’m going with this. It’s all about being creative with the interpretation of your why. Maybe you’re not about to go back to school to become a teacher, but you could create an online course, or record YouTube videos. You could share your wisdom and skills with those around you, as a free class at your local library or church.

When we get creative with our why, we realize that although our dreams change over time, we can still find fulfillment in them.

I believe our dreams, that won’t go away, are part of our purpose. They won’t leave us because they know they are part of who we are. It takes work to release the details (if necessary), and get back to our why. 

We have to decide which matters more, fulfilling it exactly and possibly never doing it, or surrendering the details of the vision to gain the satisfaction of fulfilling that deep, nagging why.

You can do this. Just sit with it for 16 minutes.

  1. What’s your nagging unfulfilled dream?
  2. What’s your why? What about it appealed(s) to you?
  3. Is it possible, that with some creativity, you can actualize your why?

I’ll admit it’s not easy. In giving up a dream, there may be a part of you that always wonders what could have been. I choose to believe that it’s still possible. It may just need to change form because you’re in a different stage of life. But that doesn’t mean it can’t still happen… at the core level. 

It’s also possible that you’re already fulfilling your why and just don’t know it. Maybe you always wanted to be a nurse because you wanted to support people in their healing. You don’t realize that as a life coach, or caregiver, you’re doing exactly that… on the why level. 

I choose to believe we can find more peace in our lives by surrendering to the nagging within us. We can find ways to connect with the dreams we’ve left behind by releasing the details and getting connected to the why.

Have an amazing whatever time of day it is for you.

Blessings!

Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist

Celebrate Your Growth

“Have you noticed how much you’ve grown? Your mindset has evolved. You’re handling things differently. Celebrate yourself.” — Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist
Press play to listen to today’s podcast episode that goes with this blog post and meme! I cuss so listen when the kids aren’t around.

Day 15 “Celebrate Your Growth” #MARCH4WARD Share & Let’s Live! #Podcast

When was the last time you noticed how much you’ve grown? Your mindset has evolved. You’re handling things so differently. Celebrate yourself.

We can be so hard on ourselves. We tend to look at the one area that we’re not succeeding in and ignore all the ways we are winning. Today, I had a great day that came with so many challenges. AND today I noticed all the ways I attempted to approach each moment better than I would have in the past.

If you tend to overlook your growth, AND/OR if you love #storytelling you can hear my about my drama in the parking garage today. There is a point, I promise. lmao

Check it out!

Listen on SoundCloud! Follow Share & Let’s Live! to be notified each time I post an episode!

Do They Deserve VIP Status?

Today, I had a short but powerful chat with my Roomie!!!

Press play to listen to today’s podcast episode that goes with this blog post and meme! I cuss so listen when the kids aren’t around.

Sometimes people come into your life and the connection is so clearly divine that you keep them forever. I’m so grateful for the beautiful soul that I met in college that I get to forever call my Roomie!

I was chatting with her today and she said, “I’m always here.” And it really touched me. I knew she was telling the complete truth. People say that all the time, but she has proven it to be true.

Her statement was so simple, yet so profound that it sent me into such deep thought that it became the topic of my blog and podcast, today.

I am the type of person who rarely asks for help. Despite my posts asking for you to check out my support page or to send up a prayer on my behalf, I have spent most of my life never asking for help. Those posts are actually about the extent of it. I’ll sooner go without, or try to figure things out myself.

I have a lot of history with asking for help from people who I thought would naturally say, “Yes,” only to have them respond in very hurtful ways. I’ve had plenty of moments that reinforced a belief that “I’m in it by myself.”

What I recognized in this conversation I had with my dear Roomie is that I was asking the wrong people for support. I actually had people in my life who I could go to, that would willingly help me, but they weren’t the ones I thought of when I needed someone. I went to the people who I speak to everyday, the ones who I chat with all the time, the ones who my parents know and have been on the team forever. When I could’ve called my Roomie and she would’ve not only given advice, but she’d hop in the car and drive across state lines to be my side. And how do I know that? Because she’s done it before… voluntarily… more than once.

I realized that we put people in seats and don’t evaluate if they really belong there. We use outdated criteria for elevating some rather than others. I know I personally am a person who automatically puts people in the nose bleed seats if I met them after a certain point, because I felt my roster was full. And I don’t even barely speak to most of those people who had the front row seats in my life. But because I was jaded, I slapped a reserved sign on those seats and left them vacant.

She helped me see that I’ve given VIP status to the wrong people. Some who I later found out were fake friends. They didn’t even like me, hated for me to come around, thought the worst of me. I have people I’ve met on social media who see me better and know the real me more than people I’ve known for over 20 years. Don’t they deserve VIP status?

And maybe you can relate. You may have some Day 1’s that you can’t even talk to about your dreams. You may have friends you’ve known for 30+ years that you know you are not nearly aligned with. You may have some people in your life who have done you dirty, but you forgave them (every time) and you keep them around because it feels wrong to “leave your old friends for your new friends.”

Well, at this point in my life, I’m done with place holders. It’s people who I know if I stopped texting them to check on them, our relationship would fully dissolve. And you know what? I stopped texting them! That sh*t is toxic. I don’t want anyone in my life who doesn’t care about if I’m dead or alive. I don’t really want people around (in those VIP seats) that doesn’t notice if they haven’t heard from me.

Significance matters to me. Of course, I have some friends who we can go 6 months or even 6 years and if we caught up today it will be like we never skipped a beat. But that’s not how it gets to be with my closest friends. You can be a dearest friend, but not the closest. I need people who I can call when I need to talk. Just like despite my I don’t talk on the phone rule, my friends know if they’re in distress I’m gonna answer their call.

I need my inner circle to be people I can share my dreams with. I need my inner circle to be people who believe in me. I need my inner circle to be people who cheer me on. And my inner circle can offer critique, but it’s not primarily what they do. They primarily lift me up, see the good in me, expect things to work out for me, get excited with me when I’m winning….

Back in the day I used to attend a lot of gospel concerts. Up close to the choir, there would be a few pews sectioned off for the “very important people” (the VIPs). That’s where the recording artists, pastors of the big churches, and the radio personalities sat. And sometimes I got to enjoy those seats because I worked for a record label.

A lot of us have the wrong people in the VIP section of our lives. We’re still keeping people there based on old criteria. Well, if you’ve read this far, maybe it’s time for you to start playing musical chairs and snatch some seats. It might time for you to reevaluate your priorities in this area of your life and decide who deserves to sit up front.

Blessings!

Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist

Acting Opposite

So on today’s episode of Share & Let’s Live! I talk about a concept my therapist taught me, called “acting opposite.”

Press play to listen to today’s podcast episode that goes with this blog post and meme! I cuss so listen when the kids aren’t around.

Essentially, acting opposite is when you do the opposite of what you would normally do. Sound simple, right? Well… it is simple. But like I learned from the amazing author and writing coach, Elizabeth Lyons, simple isn’t always easy.

In practice, acting opposite looks like choosing to handle things differently than you normally would, despite the pull of habit toward doing otherwise. So maybe you’re a person who has a short-temper. When you decide to act opposite, you choose to respond differently to the things that trigger you. Instead of yelling, you choose to take deep breaths, or laugh to calm yourself down. If you are a person who let’s the dishes pile up, when you start to place that first dirty dish in the clean sink you decide, “Nope. Let me wash this right now.” If you’re a person who tends to keep drinking after you’re tipsy, and things always go south from there, you decide, “Next time I feel tipsy, I’m going to request a glass of water, and I’m done with alcohol for the night, no matter what.”

Acting opposite is a gamechanger. And on today’s episode, I note my growth over time, and how “acting opposite” has been a huge part of the shift.

Check out today’s episode. Maybe this is something you can incorporate into your own life, and personal growth journey.

Blessings!

Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist