Which Came 1st the Thought or the Feeling?

I’ve had a therapist debate me on this, but I think they’re wrong. 😂 I strongly believe that our thoughts guide our feelings.

For the sake of this post, and this practice that has worked for me countless times, let’s just assume she’s wrong and I’m right.

Okay. Let me explain…

Sometimes when I’m feeling “bad,” I pause and have a brief, mood-shifting convo with myself…

1. First, I identify how I’m feeling (sad, anxious, depressed, etc.).
2. Then, I acknowledge that if I am feeling that way, that means I’m thinking (insert same emotion) thoughts.
3. And then I choose what emotion I’d prefer feeling. Say the same sentence again inserting the preferred emotion. And then I ask myself what I could do, think, focus on instead to feel that way. And I usually shift.

Of course sometimes I’m too bothered, or too upset to access this practice. I don’t do this all the time. However, there are times when I suddenly find myself feeling down and I honestly don’t want to feel that way. And if this practice comes to mind, I do it. And it works each time. So I thought I’d share it with you. A little something you can add to your toolbox.

Here’s an example, if you need one….

“How am I feeling right now? I’m feeling sad. In order to feel sad I must be thinking sad thoughts. Right now I’d rather feel grateful. So in order to feel grateful, I need to think grateful thoughts. What can I think about/focus on/do right now, to help me feel grateful?” And then I do that thing.

I say all of this aloud (to myself). I’m typically alone so it’s easier. But I’m sure it would work similarly in a journal. It’s easy to get distracted or not follow through if I just think it. How I’m feeling may override the process. So it’s best to be actively engaged, as if you’re interviewing yourself. Answer the questions. Think about your answers. And follow through.

Hope this helps.

It’s empowering to choose how we want to feel. And there’s nothing wrong with feeling all our feelings. And it’s equally nothing wrong with choosing that we’d rather feel better in a given moment and give ourselves that gift of a pivot.

Blessings!

Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist