When the ones we love won’t talk to us, we often get mad at them assuming they are the problem. However, it’s possible that we have unintentionally created an environment that doesn’t feel like a safe place for open and honest communication.

The hardest part of this is to not take it personally and react. (Hint: That might be the exact reason they don’t talk now. 😅)

In order to reconstruct communication in our relationships, we have to be willing to listen without reacting. We sometimes have to be willing to get our feelings hurt. And we have to be willing to accept that despite our intentions, we may come across to others differently than we think.

If we want to heal communication in our relationships, we often will need to put our egos to the side and accept that everybody is not the same and that doesn’t make them wrong. We may need to approach things differently than how we usually do things, than how we were raised, and learn to listen to understand.

Far too often we are so sensitive (and call ourselves tough), that people do not feel safe to be real with us. They see how we react to others, they remember how we’ve reacted to them in the past, and they know how we think.

Sometimes we need to get curious by asking questions and LISTENING to the answer. When we do so with the goal of connecting with the other person, to understand their perspective, RATHER THAN to defend ourselves and show them how wrong they are, we create opportunities to heal our relationships.

Blessings!

Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist

*If you are a parent, who is looking to improve communication with your child, tap the button below to learn more about my Healing Our Families series.

Today is the first of my new series, “Un-Adulting December.” This month I am working on being more present, having more fun, being more in alignment, and doing less existing and more living.

Adulting by your definition might not be a bad thing, but adulting by my definition is doing all the things society collectively agrees make you an adult. The pursuit of adulting well was draining all my energy, so I’ve decided I don’t wanna.  I’m gonna show up daily doing my best to be present, enjoying my life… un-adulting.

Does this mean I’m going to stop feeding my child, or start feeding her sweets all day? No. Does this mean that I’m going to start driving with my feet? No. However, it might mean that when I feel like rushing to the store in the middle of the night, I’ll ignore that voice that says, “You can’t wear your ducky slippers to Walgreens.” I may allow myself to skip through the parking lot, rather than walk like a sensible adult. I may buy myself a game system for Christmas instead of an upgrade of Turbo Tax….

And I’m releasing the rules of how I need to do things based on the labels I placed on myself (i.e. “introverted), or that others placed on me (i.e. “shy”). I can have a tendency to be introverted and still choose to introduce myself first to someone. I can be a “good mom” and get my daughter McDonald’s for dinner because I don’t feel like cooking, today. I can be happily single and still choose to go out on a date because companionship is fun, too.

I’m giving myself permission to be more ME this month. And I’m sharing my journey with you. Will you please join me?

Check out my daily podcast, Share and Let’s Live! with Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist every day this month, and I’ll tell you all about it. 

 Listen here: 

Blessings!

Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist
Podcaster, Creator, Visionary at Share and Let’s Live!
Owner, CEO, Publisher MDillon Designs & Publishing
Author, Designer, Illustrator at I’m Proud to Be Natural Me!

Check out my website, mdillondesigns.com to learn more! 

Who we are in relationships says a lot about who the other person is, but even more about what we believe.

If you shrink into a lesser version of yourself, it could mean that they are domineering, but it could also mean that you don’t feel confident and safe to stand in your power.

If you are overbearing, loud, and controlling, it could mean that they don’t take the initiative, but it could also mean that you hold deep fear around not being in control.

If you are clingy and barely give them room to breathe, it could mean that they aren’t affectionate enough or reassuring, but it could also mean that you carry deep insecurities and abandonment issues.

Oftentimes, we think the issues in our relationship are about them, when the core of why we attracted them speaks volumes of our need for inner healing.

Moving into a new relationship is great and grand, if you are unhappy (and the new situation is healthy), but it’s important to take the time to heal, because you bring YOU with you. You don’t want the same relationship with just a different name. It’s important to take time to heal, and see yourself, before coupling with someone new.

Blessings,

Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist

There is an associated podcast episode for this blog. To listen, tap the button below.

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Today, I gave myself a gift.

I was always raised to take the high road, to be nice to people who mistreat me, to turn the other cheek. For most of my life, I’ve been a doormat, I let people treat me any kind of way and then just let them be. If our paths crossed, I’d still be polite, because “that’s the right thing to do.” I’d take all their attacks, abuse, the slander, and still greet them politely.

Today, I nearly did the same. I saw them and that part of my upbringing that echoes in my mind was getting louder and louder. “You have to speak. At least wave. It doesn’t look good. It’s rude. That’s not the way you were raised.” I nearly gave in to that voice. Then, I closed grabbed my purse, closed my car door, and … turned the other cheek. I walked right up my stairs, unlocked my door, walked in and closed it behind me.

And yes… I’m still wearing those leggings from earlier…. but it’s dark out so they might not have noticed that I really turned the other cheek.

Sometimes the most empowering thing we can do for ourselves is to stop acting like we’re cool with people who treat us like sh*t. I’ve decided to stop going out of my way to be nice to them. I will not mistreat them. AND I will no longer behave inauthentically. (You don’t like me. I don’t like you either. Let’s drop the pretenses.)

This year has been a voyage into all things authenticity for me. I am grateful that I had this opportunity to show up differently and turn my back on those who are not for me.

It felt good. It felt right. And I’m glad I listened to my truth and kept walking. Maybe this is helpful to you. Maybe you’re going out of your way to look unbothered to someone who could really care less. No matter what you do/don’t do, they still don’t like you, so maybe it’s time to care a little less. Let them think what they want. They’re going to anyway….

Do what empowers you. If it feels good to show up dressed to the nines so they can see you’re doing just fine, do that. And if it feels good to show up in sweats and Crocs to pick up the kids from your ex (because you just don’t care enough about their opinion to go out your way), do that. For me, turning my back and walking away rather than doing a polite smirk and wave felt like a mic drop and standing ovation, so I did that.

You do you. I gladly did me, today, and I hope my story empowers you.

BTW…. if you’re wondering about the leggings…. check out today’s #podcast. The title is, “Vicky’s Secret is Out.” You can listen to it here….

Be ready to laugh your off!

Enjoy and Blessings!

Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist

#embarrassingmoments#podcast#funny#storytelling#selflove#selfcompassion#growth#personalgrowth#healingjourney