I’ve been avoiding editing this one, because I didn’t want it to put me in a certain mood. So luckily the mood just came back. (sarcasm)
My daughter just said to me, “I’m a little hungry. You got something to eat?” And I had to say, “Honestly, no.”
I need to go to the store. I have a little money left—this time—so I’m going to go and try to make it stretch. That’s not always the case (that there’s money left). In the past I would lean on my dad if I was in this position, but I’m trying to not lean on him so much of late. And that little money I have left is actually $40 I put in the bank last night to tied me over through next weekend in case I need gas or run into an emergency. That same $40 is also supposed to cover any food needs I have over the next 10 days.
I need eggs. One carton is $8. I need fruit for breakfast smoothies. One bag of mixed fruit that can last a week is $11. I need nondairy yogurt for 5 days. Those are $2.29 each. Kitten needs to eat. (Got him before gas and grocery prices went sky high. And my productivity went to hell due to burnout.) He goes through about $4 per day (as he decides he no longer likes the food he loved yesterday). Oh… forgot, I need chicken breast (because we’re trying to eat healthier). Two chicken breasts are roughly $10. I have become very crafty over the years at stretching one chicken breast into three meals, but lately they’ve only been stretching to two… because the good chicken isn’t cheap and those prices keep rising with everything else.
Oh… slow leak in my two front tires so the amount of gas I’m burning through is… depressing. I fill them up, and think I’m good. I go get gas waaaay in the “other people’s” neighborhoods (because it’s often a dollar more per gallon in my neighborhood) and by the time I’m home, it’s as if I didn’t get any at all. Low tire pressure causes you to burn more gas.
I said all that to say my gas tank is on a quarter tank (3/4 empty) and my week is just starting. Gotta get her to school and back every day, at the very least. And that gas comes out of the same $40.
So anywho, back moment when I had to say we don’t have anything in the house. It guts me because I am her only provider, and I used to be able to have something in the house for when she was hungry outside of regular meals. A snack was always waiting in her snack drawer each day. I kept food in the freezer that she could make, or lunch meat and bread and cheese. I can’t afford that now. I only have enough money to cover the necessities….
I buy what I need for her breakfast. I buy what I need for her lunch. I buy what I need, and can afford for her dinner. Did you notice something in my wording? Yeah, you’re right. I shop to ensure she eats… and that the kitten eats. But I don’t bring in enough to ensure I eat.
The rest I say on today’s podcast. Check it out. Oh, and I don’t share these things as a pity party. I share it as awareness of what some people are dealing with and even why. Sometimes it’s hard to truly understand another person’s perspective, when it’s far enough from our own. So I share my stories to help people like me know you’re not alone and to help people who can’t make sense of the possible struggles, challenges, etc. (especially for late diagnosed neurodivergent people, single parents, entrepreneurs with mental wellness challenges like myself).
It’s not meant to be depressing. It’s just information. It’s just me using me as an example of how life is for some people, by sharing my vulnerable and authentic truths.
Anywho, press play. If this is enlightening, please like, comment, subscribe, and/or share.
Blessings,
Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist
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