Before I sat down to the computer tonight, I thought, “I’m just going to grab an old post to share.” But when I actually sat down and followed guidance to interlace my finger and take some deep cleansing breaths, I knew that new words would come from my heart.

Today was a day of epiphanies and growth, struggles and triumphs, frustrations and blessings. I am in a dance of letting go of the old and launching into the new.

It’s funny how habits that don’t serve us can be the hardest ones to release, while new practices are hard to…. practice. I would think that the thing that brings me what I want would be the easy choice, but the grooves we’ve made by walking that other path makes it real easy for our wheels to take us down the old route.

Let me tell you something I learned about ADHD, from my therapist. When I was in school (undergrad intro Psych class), I learned about “object permanence.” It’s the reason why you can play peekaboo with a toddler but not a newborn. Once you cover your face, you’re gone to that infant. Well, the same “out of sight, out of mind” happens with some people with ADHD.

I don’t know enough about it (because it’s still new to me) to know how common it is percentage-wise, but I know for me, it’s a big challenge. When I have an exciting new project I’m working on, it has my focus up until it becomes too challenging. Once I hit a wall, I pivot and do something else. My intention is to get back to it. I’m just taking a little break. But what happens is I completely forget that I was working on it at all. Weeks and months can go by and then I’m looking through the files on my computer for an image and then I find the designs I created for that project. Sometimes I laugh at myself. Sometimes I do the Homer Simpson facepalm (“Doh!”). And other times I get really down on myself for failing to complete yet another project.

The same thing happens with my workouts and healthy eating plans. I’m going strong until something shifts in my schedule that causes me not to do the new practice and then it’s “out of sight, out of mind.” By the time I remember, I have to start all over from scratch, or just lack the same level of drive I had when I began originally.

With that said, I am trying to gather myself to complete outstanding projects, while I pivot toward my next chapter. I’m doing this while navigating life, raising a teen, building a business, doing a ton of inner healing, and stepping into what I feel is most natural to me, while stepping over all the insecurities it brings up.

I’m in a place of feeling extremely excited and extremely burned out simultaneously. If I shared with you all I’ve navigated while showing up here, you’d never believe me, but the thing is that I love doing this. I love sharing insights and uplifting posts. I love making sense of the circus that aspects of my life can be. AND I need a vacation. If I actually believed people would give, I’d start a GoFundMe to send myself and my daughter on a vacation, cuz boy do we need it. It’s been a rough year or two. And we keep rolling….

I looked at myself on my phone this evening and even the SnapChat filters couldn’t hide the fatigue. It’s like my eyes have started packing bags for our vacay.

I need a breakthrough. I need a blessing. I need some time away by the water. I need to remember what ease feels like. I need rest and relaxation to reset my mind so I can keep doing this work, and the other important work I really want to get to…. #songwriting

And in the meantime, I need to figure out how to consistently show up, despite how my brain works, and despite the fatigue. Or…. better yet… maybe I need to figure out how to rest without guilt.

A thought came to me this evening about that cliché, “You snooze, you lose.” I realized how often there are societal messages that warn us against ease and relaxation, in favor of being constantly alert, vigilant, and busy. If you take a midday nap after 9 years old, you’re “lazy.” If you’re up working ’til late, “burning the midnight oil,” you get congratulated and inducted into “Team No Sleep.” And if you’re a mom and share the week’s worth of tasks you completed today before bed, you’re called “such a good mom.”

I’m exhausted of being exhausted. I want to rest without the guilt. It’s hard enough managing this squirrels-juggling-while-riding-unicycles mind of mine without adding massive levels of sleep deprivation.

The times when I’ve been kind to myself and taken a guiltless, midday nap, I’ve seen MIRACULOUS things occur. Some of my greatest triumphs have occurred while I was knocked out sleeping. I remember being just overwhelmed and frustrated one day, so I took a nap to get the ugh off of me. I woke up, checked my email, and had a message that my children’s book I’m Proud to Be Natural Me! was now in multiple libraries in the Chicago Public Library system. I had been trying forever to do it on my own, but it seemed like I was just getting in the way. One librarian and one phone call and I was asleep while it was happening. I have so many stories of having major shifts occur while I was resting. And I believe that sometimes our angst is what’s blocking the flow of what’s already ours. (And given that angst is my most prominent emotion…. I probably need to be sleeping way more.

Even though I know this about myself… that I gain clarity, I reset my focus, I shift out of negative emotions, and I approach my work with a vibrant second wind, I still force myself to stay up all day and night because I don’t want people looking at me like I’m lazy. But today, I really thought about how much I’m probably getting in my own way. If I’m not focused, I’m not doing quality work. I’m staring at the computer.

It’s time to let all that go and just stop caring so much about other people’s opinions. I’m at point where I people can just think what they want. My family can call me “lazy.” They can assume that I’m not trying. They can believe whatever they want. I’m gonna let myself sleep when I’m tired. I’m going to challenge myself to go to bed when I feel I haven’t done enough to earn sleep. I’m going to gift myself rest so I can have the clarity of mind to be productive when I’m awake. I’m gonna let people’s opinions be theirs… so rest can be mine. And I’m gonna start tonight.

I’m going to bed as soon as I post this. If you see me up, tell me to go to bed.

If you’ve been running your body down “burning the candle at both ends,” maybe it’s time to check in with yourself, or meditate on how often you allow yourself that level of deprivation. For me, it’s become a lifestyle, and I’m tired of feeling tired. I’m getting some rest. Maybe you should, too.

Goodnight…. I mean, Blessings!

Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist
Co-Founder of SISTAMoms with Yvonne Monique Livingston LLC
Owner Chief Empowerment Officer of MDillon Designs & Publishing

Some helpful links:

• Check out more of my blog posts.
• Who is Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist?
• Check out my products, course, books, and more!
• Support my work with an online gift, review, or shares.

Did you find this post inspiring?

Marlene would love to hear from you! If this post inspired you, comment below.
You can also send Marlene a secure gift online via BuyMeaCoffee.

BuyMeaCoffee is a simple and secure way to support your favorite artists. It’s the equivalent of saying, “That was awesome! Here’s $5. Buy yourself a cup of coffee.” Since Marlene loves to drink matcha, you can use the button below to send her a cup of matcha and a note of appreciation. She’ll be so excited!

Today, I woke up and was guided to go for a walk in a historic district I frequent. I love being in the area because the architecture is so fascinating.

Some years ago, I did some research on the area because I was so intrigued. The more I learned the more I wanted to know. More recently I’ve noticed what appeared to be guided tours and I longed for being in a position to afford a ticket to go. I assumed they must be expensive.

A few days ago, I saw a post on social media about national parks offering free entry. I forgot the reason why. I checked to see if any national parks were near me thinking I could visit one day with my daughter. As I did my quick search, I was so excited to see that the area that I am so fascinated with was on the list as a national park! I went to their site and made note of the days and times I could visit for a tour.

Fast forward to today. I felt a really strong leading to get dressed and get to the area for an early morning walk. I haven’t had uninterrupted “quiet time,” to reflect and introspect. So I shook off the urge to stay in bed, followed that internal guidance, hopped in my car and got there. I parked and walked, and sat and reflected, and walked some more. It just felt like a really guided time of “time to sit,” “time to get walking, again.” I just kept following that “voice.”

At the end of my walk, I decided to take the long way back to my car so I could view a few of the amazing houses a block over from where I parked. As I stopped on the corner in front of one of the largest houses, I saw a little display with information cards. As I reached in to grab one, a lady approached who was walking her dog. She greeted me and told me that they were offering two tours today, and both were free! She said that I should come back later for one of the tours.

It was the coolest thing because I have been wanting to go on architectural tours my entire adult life. I AM FASCINATED BY ARCHITECTURE. But, unfortunately, whenever tours were going on, I was unable to attend for one reason or another (typically money related). Every year, as the summer came to a close, I would be so disappointed that I once again hadn’t done a single tour. To find out that one of the areas I’m fascinated with was offering a tour that was my perfect price (free), and it was close enough that money couldn’t interfere in another way (i.e. not enough gas), AND it was early enough in the day that other responsibilities wouldn’t get in the way, I was beyond elated….

So, I did go back later, and I attended the tour! I nearly backed out because I was running a little late, but I made myself not worry about that. I went in and sat down to listen to the brief lecture and joined the group to walk over to one of the houses…. IT WAS BLISS! It was what I always hoped a tour like that would be. I got to go inside the home and hear stories about the family that lived there. I got to observe all the cool interior details: like the original hardwood floors, an old school sewing machine, and an ice chest! It was so cool experiencing this structure that has been there since the 1800’s. I was in there walking up the creaky winding staircase of a home I’ve passed for so many times with curiosity about what I was like inside.

After the tour was over and I reflected on my time, I got to see how following guidance early this morning led me to experience one of my dreams. I realized that spirituality isn’t always about sacrifice, struggle, and going without. Sometimes spirituality is about following an inspired thought, that leads to another, and another that leads to an experience you’ve always wanted.

Today, I was inspired to love myself enough to get up early while the world was peaceful, to take a walk in a neighborhood I adore. By doing something so simple, I walked right in to an opportunity I’ve wanted for so long. I can’t help but wonder if life gets to be this simple…. that all the striving is unnecessary. Maybe I get to just glide from one inspired thought to next and without real effort—at least not the kind I’m used to—I can experience everything I’ve ever desired.

My experience today combined with some other amazing experiences I’ve had over the last few days has me thinking so differently. During my walk I was inspired to start looking for the good in my life, to start intentionally observing the beautiful things. I’m convinced that is why I was in the right place at the right time today. As I was walking and resting, admiring and observing, I was so at peace. I was appreciating the architecture and beauty I could see, and then an opportunity to see more opened up to me.

I followed what brought me joy and more joy came to me. I looked for what made me smile and gained more smiles. I paused to appreciate what was beautiful and I got to see so many beautiful things.

This was one of my best days of my life. I really savored my experiences. And it all began with simply appreciating the beauty around me.

I am ready to shift in my life. I want to experience more peace, joy, and ease. Maybe that starts by shifting what I focus on. I’ve heard it a million times, and even said it (“where focus goes, energy flows” and all that).

I feel like today offered me an opportunity to pivot. I loved today and as I focused on the beautiful things more beauty unfolded. As I parked in front of my house, I noticed a robin by my bushes trying to pull a string with its beak. I knew that string was tied and the robin was going to need help. I grabbed my scissors and slowly walked over, allowing the robin to move safely out of my reach, but still close enough to observe. I cut the string, left it on the side by the bush, and went to grab my things. It brought me so much joy to know that I got to play a role in helping a robin build its nest. Instant bliss.

Today, I learned I can control my focus….

My day was full of blissful moments, because all day I focused on beautiful things. The outcome taught me how much focus really does matter. Instead of trying not to focus on what’s wrong in my life, or worse, focusing on it directly, I simply intentionally noticed and enjoyed the beauty around me.

I’m going to do more of what makes me smile. I’m going to notice more of what’s beautiful. I’m going to remind myself to expect things to work out. I’m going to appreciate what I can appreciate. I’m going to follow my bliss. And I hope you will, too.

Blessings!

Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist

Did you find this post inspiring?

Marlene would love to hear from you! If this post inspired you, comment below.
You can also send Marlene a secure gift online via BuyMeaCoffee.

BuyMeaCoffee is a simple and secure way to support your favorite artists. It’s the equivalent of saying, “That was awesome! Here’s $5. Buy yourself a cup of coffee.” Since Marlene loves to drink matcha, you can use the button below to send her a cup of matcha and a note of appreciation. She’ll be so excited!

Are you familiar with Joseph McClendon III? One of the most powerful things I’ve learned from him recently is that our thoughts (about anything) influence how we feel about that thing. And how we feel about it, influences what we will do about it. And what we do about it influences what we have and experience regarding it. I learned this in a recent workshop he did and it really is shifting how I use my mind.

What I know for sure is that much of how we relate to life in the present, is due to beliefs we established primarily in childhood AND during momentous events in the past. It amazes me how something as simple as a bully smacking an ice cream cone from your hand at 6 years old, can cause you at 66 to still believe, “I can never have good things.”

The reality is that conclusions drawn between birth and 7 years old (about who we are, how people treat us, how life works, etc.) become lifelong beliefs, unless we become aware of them and intentionally shift them. As a result of one unexpected incident, we begin a pattern of thought. Then we begin to unknowingly look for evidence to prove that conclusion is true.

The way our brains are wired, we will always find the evidence we are looking for. And typically because we find circumstance after circumstance which aligns with our belief, we become certain that we believe is absolutely true.

But what many of us don’t know is that the brain has something called the reticular activating system. This is the brain’s way of helping us focus on what’s important to us and ignore the things that aren’t. For example, if you have your eye on a certain car—maybe you just purchased it or it’s just your favorite car—suddenly everywhere you go you see that car. It’s not that suddenly everyone chose to like the car you do, it’s that the reticular activating system is helping you notice the type of car that you told your brain is important. So now you are more aware of their presence. Other types of cars are still present, but your brain is highlighting the car you made important. Your favorite car was always present, but your thoughts about it trained your brain to focus on it.

The same thing happens with our beliefs. If we believe “everybody mistreats me,” we begin to only notice the times we are mistreated. We don’t pay as much attention to all the other people and times that we are treated well. Our brain helps us find evidence to match our thoughts… our beliefs…

This is a good time for a sidebar. Abraham-Hicks gives the best definition of what beliefs are (in my opinion). They say that “a belief is just a thought you keep thinking.” So if we think a thought enough times—and our reticular activating system keeps only showing us evidence to support it—we begin to believe that the thought is true. So whether your belief is “all women are gold diggers,” or “all men are dogs,” or “children aren’t safe around gay people,” or “Black people steal,” or “white people can’t be trusted,” or “bad things always happen to me,” whatever those beliefs are merely started with a thought that was repeated until it became a belief.

So the good thing to know about this is that if our beliefs are merely thoughts we keep thinking, until our brain begins to help us prove it with evidence… we can change our beliefs by thinking new, more empowering thoughts. And we can begin to look for evidence to support our new beliefs and eventually our brain will catch on a do the same!

So presently the belief I keep thinking—that I established in childhood—is “everybody gets to have that but me,” and its twin “everybody gets to do that but me.” And one other that, “no one is going to help me.” Throughout my life, I have found so much evidence to support these unhelpful beliefs. However, as I think about shifting beliefs, I realize that these are just thoughts that I have been thinking since childhood. I can create a new habit of thinking otherwise and looking for evidence to support these new beliefs.

That’s essentially how affirmations work. This is why my children’s book, I’m Proud to Be Natural Me! has been so powerful for so many children. By reading empowering words repeatedly, with emotion, we are able to establish new belief systems. As children read, “I’m proud to be natural me,” over and over again while experiencing the uplifting story, they begin to see for themselves that they can be proud of their natural beauty.

We can shift our own beliefs by creating new patterns of thought and attaching positive emotions to them. What if you chose an empowering phrase to say each morning while you dance to your favorite song? What if every day, first thing when you wake up, you smile at the ceiling for 2 minutes while thinking, “I love myself,” or repeat in your mind, “If anyone gets to have it, so do I,” for a full minute every day at 2:22pm? Imagine if you did that for the rest of this month, or for 21 days, or for life. Do you think it might have an impact?

We can create new habits of thought, the same way we created the old ones. It helps if we choose affirmations that are not too far from our present reality, then work our way toward the truth we desire.

I know I’ve made the mistake MANY times of creating an affirmation that feels so false that it’s annoying to repeat it. When I’ve got a dollar in my account and about to run out of gas it’s hard to keep affirming, “I am rich.” But I can affirm, “This is temporary.” I can affirm, “More money always comes.” I can affirm, “Life gets to be better than this for me.” I can affirm, “I am worthy of the abundance I desire.” Then, I can begin to look for evidence that I get to have the desires of my heart.

As I am writing this, these words are ministering to me. I have been struggling with my finances from as far back as not being able to buy “penny candy” in grade school, to not being able to visit Yvonne Livingston LLC (my business partner) a week ago because I didn’t have enough gas. It is empowering for me to see that I can use what I know to get my mind to believe what I need it to in order to shift my life. Shifting my thoughts eventually shifts what I have. So I am choosing to ACTIVELY believe that and begin by doing one of the exercises I stated above to shift my beliefs about how life works for me.

As we shift our thoughts, we’ll shift our feelings. And as we shift our feelings, we’ll shift what we’re doing. And as we shift what we’re doing, we’ll shift what we’re having and experiencing. I’m ready to shift what I’m having and experiencing. Maybe you are, too.

Will you join me in actively shifting to more empowering thoughts? I believe it will be a gamechanger for you and me.

Blessings!

Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist

Co-Founder of SISTAMoms

Author of I’m Proud to Be Natural Me!

Owner of MDillon Designs & Publishing

I appreciate you!

Some helpful links:

• Check out more of my blog posts.
• Who is Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist?
• Check out my products, course, books, and more!
• Support my work with an online gift, review, or shares.