Why Slow Down?

{Image Description: Meme. Photo of two turtles on a log above a murky, olive green pond, one smaller than the other with tail down and head raised. Text states: Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist "Slowing down allows us to see the patterns that are guiding our lives." mdillondesigns.com}

by Marlene Dillon

Why slow down?
To breathe
And know
And see
And hear…

Why so slow?
How do I get there?
You can’t get there
If you don’t know the way
You got here.
Let go, dear one.
Can I go faster, please?

Why so slow?
I have to get there.
They are counting on me.
But where is there dear one?
Where are you going, and why?

I have to get there.
Don’t you see?
Everyone is counting on me?
Without me their world falls apart.

But what about yours, dear heart?
What about the world you carve
In your mind?
Why chase down their dreams
And leave yours behind?

You love them more than you.
You need to see why you do
As you do.
You want their love and
None of their pain.

You jump through their hoops
Again and again.
And if you can slide through
Their hoop just as before

You avoid what you fear—
They’ll close their love door.
You want to be loved
To escape their abuse.

You run, leap, and jump
Right into their noose.
Chasing their love
You’ll never be free.

You deserve to be loved
Unconditionally.

So make your new choice
To love you instead.
To let them be mad
To stay in your bed.

You get to rest
And be kind to yourself.
You can dust off your dreams,
You’ve placed on your shelf. 

Allow them the chance
To upgrade their love.
And don’t wait for them
To place you above.

You’ll wait in vain
Must choose for yourself,
To remember your worth
To value yourself. 

Don’t live just for them.
That’s no way to live.
They’ll take every drop.
Left with nothing to give.

Return to your truth.
You do know the way.
If it lights up your heart
On that path please stay.

You deserve the love
You give to them all.
To place smiles in your day
No matter how small.

Place joy in your life.
Do more that you love.
That’s enough of below,
Place yourself above.

Don’t give in to feelings
That say to feel bad,
That when you are above
You’ll make them feel sad.

Remember how you’ve felt
All of these years,
Giving your all
While fighting through tears.

You’re here to be more
Than their source of joy.
This is your life to live—
For you to enjoy.

Now, find ways to every day
Bring smiles to your face.
Be loving toward them.
But you take first place.

Written & Published
December 20, 2023
by Marlene Dillon.
All rights reserved.

We deserve to be main characters in our own lives, not just supporting characters in everyone else’s. This is a new truth for me. If you’d like to follow my journey of self-discovery, and learn with me along the way, please check out my podcast. It’s called Share & Let’s Live!

Check out my podcast Share & Let’s Live!

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Is It Safe to Speak?

When the ones we love won’t talk to us, we often get mad at them assuming they are the problem. However, it’s possible that we have unintentionally created an environment that doesn’t feel like a safe place for open and honest communication.

Image Description: Two people seated next to each other on a bed, facing away from the camera. One with head leaned on the other's shoulder. Other with arm around their shoulder. Text states: Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist Typical Question “Why won’t you talk to me?!” Better Questions “Do you feel safe being open with me? What’s one thing I can do differently?” #HEALINGOURFAMILIES mdillondesigns.com
Tap this button to listen to associated podcast episode for this blog post on SoundCloud!
Listen to podcast episode on SoundCloud!

The hardest part of this is to not take it personally and react. (Hint: That might be the exact reason they don’t talk now. 😅)

In order to reconstruct communication in our relationships, we have to be willing to listen without reacting. We sometimes have to be willing to get our feelings hurt. And we have to be willing to accept that despite our intentions, we may come across to others differently than we think.

If we want to heal communication in our relationships, we often will need to put our egos to the side and accept that everybody is not the same and that doesn’t make them wrong. We may need to approach things differently than how we usually do things, than how we were raised, and learn to listen to understand.

Far too often we are so sensitive (and call ourselves tough), that people do not feel safe to be real with us. They see how we react to others, they remember how we’ve reacted to them in the past, and they know how we think.

Sometimes we need to get curious by asking questions and LISTENING to the answer. When we do so with the goal of connecting with the other person, to understand their perspective, RATHER THAN to defend ourselves and show them how wrong they are, we create opportunities to heal our relationships.

Blessings!

Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist

*If you are a parent, who is looking to improve communication with your child, tap the button below to learn more about my Healing Our Families series.

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Un-Adulting: Dropping Labels

Today is the first of my new series, “Un-Adulting December.” This month I am working on being more present, having more fun, being more in alignment, and doing less existing and more living.

Image of a curly-haired child swinging on a blue and yellow swing. Text states: Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist It's "Un-Adulting" December More fun Less labels More alignment Less existing More living I am unapologetically un-adulting this month mdillondesigns.com

Adulting by your definition might not be a bad thing, but adulting by my definition is doing all the things society collectively agrees make you an adult. The pursuit of adulting well was draining all my energy, so I’ve decided I don’t wanna. 😆 I’m gonna show up daily doing my best to be present, enjoying my life… un-adulting.

Does this mean I’m going to stop feeding my child, or start feeding her sweets all day? No. Does this mean that I’m going to start driving with my feet? No. However, it might mean that when I feel like rushing to the store in the middle of the night, I’ll ignore that voice that says, “You can’t wear your ducky slippers to Walgreens.” 😆I may allow myself to skip through the parking lot, rather than walk like a sensible adult. I may buy myself a game system for Christmas instead of an upgrade of Turbo Tax….

And I’m releasing the rules of how I need to do things based on the labels I placed on myself (i.e. “introverted), or that others placed on me (i.e. “shy”). I can have a tendency to be introverted and still choose to introduce myself first to someone. I can be a “good mom” and get my daughter McDonald’s for dinner because I don’t feel like cooking, today. I can be happily single and still choose to go out on a date because companionship is fun, too.

I’m giving myself permission to be more ME this month. And I’m sharing my journey with you. Will you please join me?

Check out my daily podcast, Share and Let’s Live! with Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist every day this month, and I’ll tell you all about it. 🥰

🎙 Listen here: 

Listen to my daily podcast series Un-Adulting December!

Blessings!

Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist
Podcaster, Creator, Visionary at Share and Let’s Live!
Owner, CEO, Publisher MDillon Designs & Publishing
Author, Designer, Illustrator at I’m Proud to Be Natural Me!

Check out my website, mdillondesigns.com to learn more! 😘

Who You Become in Relationships Pt 1

Who we are in relationships says a lot about who the other person is, but even more about what we believe.

Image of a couple in bed. Male presenting with beard sitting up slightly, reclined on pillow near headboard, covers over him to the waist, fingers (possibly interlaced) under covers. Looking down at covers. Female wearing wedding/engagement ring, sitting up with knee pulled to chest at foot of the bed, hands over face, apparently upset. appearance. Text states: Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist Who we are in relationships says a lot about who the other person is, but even more about what we believe. mdillondesigns.com

If you shrink into a lesser version of yourself, it could mean that they are domineering, but it could also mean that you don’t feel confident and safe to stand in your power.

If you are overbearing, loud, and controlling, it could mean that they don’t take the initiative, but it could also mean that you hold deep fear around not being in control.

If you are clingy and barely give them room to breathe, it could mean that they aren’t affectionate enough or reassuring, but it could also mean that you carry deep insecurities and abandonment issues.

Oftentimes, we think the issues in our relationship are about them, when the core of why we attracted them speaks volumes of our need for inner healing.

Moving into a new relationship is great and grand, if you are unhappy (and the new situation is healthy), but it’s important to take the time to heal, because you bring YOU with you. You don’t want the same relationship with just a different name. It’s important to take time to heal, and see yourself, before coupling with someone new.

Blessings,

Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist