Random post….

There are some really gifted people, who we may believe in, that aren’t yet maximizing their potential. And it may frustrate us because we see what they are capable of and have even told them, but they don’t see to be catching on.

Just because we see it, and we say it, and if they know it for themselves, that doesn’t necessarily mean they feel ready, able, capable, qualified, healed, etc. to step into what we see. We may not know all they battle internally to do the little that we’ve seen, or to do it again if they’ve done a lot. We don’t know all the stories, and messages, and lies, and limiting beliefs, and fears, etc. that are going on within a person that pauses them from doing what seems like an obvious next step to us.

Now, as I say, that, I am not saying that if it is draining the life out of you to keep pushing a person to be, do, or have whatever you feel they are to be doing that you have to keep doing that. Maybe it’s not for you to keep being the person cheering them on and pushing them step by step. Maybe it’s for you to find other ways to encourage them OR it’s no longer your role. Maybe your role is less directly active and becomes more of an intuitive support where you spend a few minutes a day imagining them seeing themselves doing that thing that they want to do but aren’t quite doing yet. And maybe you leave it alone altogether….

But one of the absolute worst things you can do to a person who is down… a person you once encouraged is… to attack them for not getting up fast enough.

What we see as little effort, may have taken everything they’ve got. We have no idea what is going on within a person, around a person, or what they are overcoming internally in order to succeed. So many people who seem to have it together have so much going on. You may see things as “All they have to do is ______,” which is just one step to you, but to that person it may seem like climbing a mountain of stairs. Some things that are easy for us are hard for other people….

There are people who have been in my life who believed in me to a point. Some of my challenges seemed so nonsensical that they supported for a minute, but then gave up on me and their exit speeches were hurtful. It’s like having your nurse, or doctor turn on you for still being ill…..

I don’t believe that anyone needs to stick around and be that main source of support beyond what feels aligned or healthy, but I believe that you can exit in a way that isn’t hurtful. Even saying, “I really believe in you, and I trust that one day you’ll believe in yourself as I do,” is better than, “You’re so talented but you just don’t want to try.” Not everyone blooms immediately. Not everyone has the same strengths. There are a ton of talented people who don’t believe in themselves. That’s a place for compassion, not annoyance. Be grateful that’s not your struggle, rather than feel annoyed and superior…

If we don’t have the patience to continue nurturing someone, we can lovingly excuse ourselves, but we don’t have to curse them and kick them on the way out.

Just my random thoughts….

Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist #Proud2BNaturalMe

“When you’re in a storm, look for the rainbows.” — Marlene Dillon

Today, and for the last few weeks, I’ve been dealing with some things. This week they got a little more demanding and I was feeling exhausted from it all. I decided to surrender to what is and just keep rolling. A few minutes ago, someone told me that they were led to give me a gift. Although that gift didn’t solve the problems, the gesture was such a blessing that I needed to take a second to shift focus and be grateful.

So that’s my recommendation to you. Whether it’s a blessing out of nowhere, finding your favorite soup is on sale, or discovering a new series to binge watch this weekend, notice the rainbows. If it’s a phone call received, or a meal that turned out perfectly, or that person who rarely even looks in your direction gave you the hint of a smile, notice the rainbows. If you’re a stormy season, and you’re being hit with back to back trials, I don’t care how small a smile worthy moment is, pay attention to that rainbow.

We have to find ways to interrupt the flow of what doesn’t feel good and occasionally we find ourselves in the midst of a storm with no apparent end in sight. It is in these moments, that we have to train ourselves to take a minute and look for the rainbows.

Blessings.

Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist

I remember when I was miserably single. Valentine’s Day was torture.

I’ve truly grown. I couldn’t be more single. And I’m watching couples’ posts in my news feed, and just celebrating them and seeing how cute they look together, and how happy they are… especially the ones who clearly celebrate each other year ’round.

It’s funny when you’ve been on the other side, that you don’t have to feel left out. I’ve experienced both sides… and one thing I learned is that the grass is often greener on the lawn you can’t see up close. So many singles want to be married, and so many married people wouldn’t do it again if they had a chance to choose again (and of course there are those who are happily married Just kidding I know a few who got it right.)

Point is, every state has it’s benefits, and challenges. And every once in a while, you get blessed to share your life with someone who lets you see how green your own grass is.

I’m blessed to have experienced all three, and I know that when I’m ready, I’ll revisit the upgraded version of the last. Who knows, maybe sooner than I think.

Blessings to you! Happy Valentine’s… Galentine’s…. Happy….. Day to Intentionally Celebrate Love! Make sure you love yourself a little extra today.

Blessings!

Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist

Oh my gawd. I just cured my RBF!

Growing up in the city, I learned very quickly that if you don’t want people to bother you, you don’t walk around smiling all the time. Unfortunately, I did that for so long that my facial muscles developed a habit of making me look like I’m about to fight somebody. Yes. As nice as I am, I have resting b*tch face…. well, I guess I should say, “I had… RBF.”

Let me tell you what I just did!

Okay, so I decided to start my day out with a post, asking you what you are grateful for. I happened to look at myself in the mirror seconds later and noticed that my permanent frown was starting to make my face look old. Being a strong believer in “black don’t crack,” I refuse to have a saggy jaw. So I followed an odd inspiration that came to me, to hold a smile for 200 seconds.

Let me tell you how my face was trembling trying to hold that smile. I stayed committed, though. I mean an ear to ear, “Koolaid” smile! I counted backwards from 200. Doing both simultaneously required so much focus that it ended up being like meditation. I cleared out all my thoughts. It was taking everything to keep my face in that position. You shoulda seen me chair dancing and everything else, just to make it to that last second.

So this is the cool part. When I made it zero, I was so proud of myself. I was still staring at myself in the mirror… and laughing. And you know how you take that breath after a good laugh? I exhaled, inhaled, and….. my face went back to a smile! Like no matter what I did it defaulted back to a smile. Even now, minutes later, I’m still smiling!

Now, I don’t know if this will work for you. But if you have RBF and are willing to drop the ax murderer scowl, maybe give it a try. I’m not claiming this is a tested fact. Today, was my first time…. All I know is, I can’t stop smiling.

Yeah, so that’s how I cured my RBF. If by chance it tries to return, I know exactly what to do.

I hope this true story helped you smile.

Oh… by the way, what are you grateful for, today?

Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist#Proud2BNaturalMe