I am an outlier. If you want me to immediately pivot from a choice, tell me, “Everybody else is doing it.” I do what aligns with my beliefs, interests, and priorities, regardless of what everybody else thinks about it. However, being an outlier makes it really hard to be a people pleaser. For most of my life I tried to be both.

One of the greatest challenges I’ve faced as a parent has been to stand my ground with my parenting decisions. Ultimately, I’m going to act in the best interest of my child, regardless of who agrees with it. The hard part is vocalizing that.

I. Do. Not. Like. Conflict. I want everybody to be happy with me, and smile at me, and tell me nothing but good things about myself. When I make my inevitable outlier choices, I end up having those annoying, awkward conversations, where people feel it’s their job to tell me their opinions and how I’m making the wrong decision because I’m not doing what they would do in my situation.

When I became a parent—and I mean during my pregnancy—I decided that I had to do what was in my child’s best interest. I had to follow my gut, even if that meant I had to stand up to my own momma (and if you know her, you know…..). I went most of my life doing things I didn’t want to do, just to keep the peace, but as a parent, I realized that my child’s physical, mental, emotional, and even social wellbeing matters more to me than avoiding those awkward moments.

It has taken time to get to a point where I initiate those awkward convos, as needed, rather than wait ’til they come to me. This week, I’ve already had a few and I’m gearing up for a few more. It’s a sign of my growth that I am standing in my power and saying, “I don’t care what you think; this is what I’m about to do.”

Just because something worked for someone else does not mean that is best for my child. As I grow as a parent, I realize more how important it is to exercise boundaries. We often have people around us who are very opinionated about our parenting choices. We can hear others, but ultimately we need to stand in what’s true for us and best for our children. We get the privilege of being their advocates. Sometimes that means we need to speak up and say what we are/are not going to do, when it comes to our children.

If you are a recovering (or practicing) people pleaser, know that the more you exercise your boundaries, and take the risks to stand in your truth, the more you develop inner strength. It’s important for me to catch myself when I’m tempted to back down from following my internal guidance, and ask, “What is my intention?” It helps me remember where my focus belongs. It helps me not take the easy path, just to avoid the conflict. It helps me stay aligned with my truth.

We need to follow our instincts, hold our boundaries, and speak our truths, even if our voice shakes.

Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist#Proud2BNaturalMe

Want a better relationship with your child? Enroll, today!

Do you ever beat yourself up for what you haven’t done, yet? Do you ever feel bad for the gifts, callings, visions, and ideas that are in you nagging to be birthed?

Today, I needed a reset. I stepped away from my computer with my journal and new gel pens and after a few brief words I found myself waking up. I’ve learned and experienced enough to know now that sometimes that is a way for us to clear energy and reset, and I love a good restorative nap. (It was less than 15 minutes.)

When I woke up, I felt new but not quite clear on my next steps for the day, so I decided to follow an urge to sit at my computer and just write freely, whatever came to mind. The following is what came to me. Not something I typically share, but I felt that it may resonate with a few and help you to let go of some things so you can move on with your life. Love and blessings. Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist

These words came to me intuitively….

“Time to FORGIVE YOURSELF. You did nothing wrong. You are on track. It’s ALL okay.

You’re under the false impression that you are pivoting because you were going the wrong way. No. You are pivoting because it is now time to change course.

It has nothing to do with you being wrong, doing it wrong, being in the wrong. You did what you were supposed to do THEN with the knowledge, focus, goals, priorities, etc. you had THEN. And NOW you have different knowledge, a different focus, different goals, and different priorities.

Stop making yourself wrong for choosing a new path. Stop making yourself wrong for revisiting and old path when you now have what it takes to walk it. Maybe you weren’t ready.. prepared to handle it then.

Maybe it’s time to look at yourself differently. Maybe it’s time to accept that you’re allowed to ebb and flow like everything else in this universe. That you’re not wrong for breaks and pauses or even perceived regressions.

Maybe YOU get to be human, too. Maybe you get to allow yourself the grace you offer to others. Maybe it’s time you forgive yourself for doing nothing wrong and allow yourself to see YOU as one who gets to change paths, too.

No one looks at a butterfly and says, “Stupid. Why were you a caterpillar all that time when you had the potential to be a butterfly? Duh. What a waste of time.”

The length of time that you are as you are is irrelevant. It’s time to embrace this present moment and say, “Okay so what do I want to do, now.”

Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist#Proud2BNaturalMe

Today, at my neighborhood store, my daughter and I met a mom with the cutest little girl. Beautiful little chocolate girl, full of light, with a gorgeous afro. She couldn’t have been more than 2 or 3 years old.

She was so adorable that I couldn’t help but tell her mom. She graciously thanked me and we exchanged a few words about our love for our natural hair. We went our separate ways, but when I was ready to check out, I saw them nearing the counter, as well. Her sweet girl was happily trying on sunglasses nearby. When I got to the register, she seemed to gravitate toward us. She was looking up at me and my daughter and smiling. Even her mom was amazed at how drawn she was to us and I jokingly responded, “We’re connected.”

From when I first saw them I felt a nudge to tell her about my children’s book. I ignored it, a few times, but as I looked at her beautiful daughter, with her gorgeous curly hair, I knew she needed to have my book. I used to keep copies on me, but haven’t since the new revision so I hesitated to tell her since I didn’t have one to gift her. The nudge did not stop so I finally spoke up and told her that I am a children’s author and that I have book called I’m Proud to Be Natural Me! I told her that it’s a children’s book filled with little girls just like hers—beautiful little girls, of all different complexions with curly hair.

It felt like it’s the kind of book that her mom would want her to have and I know that seeing little girls like herself affirming her beauty is so powerful.

I began to tell her about my book. (Many years back a description of I’m Proud to Be Natural Me! just flowed out of me. It was completely inspired and I’ve used those same words ever since to describe it.) I began, “It’s the story of a little girl who was teased about the texture of her hair….” and before I could continue, the mom said, “My daughter went through that…. it ended in her taking her own life…. She was 12 years old.”

I cannot describe the rush of emotions and thoughts that filled me instantaneously. I was stunned silent. Shock, sympathy, empathy, sorrow…. I felt so compassionate toward this mother, and looked at my own tween daughter and expressed my deepest condolences. I knew instantly that I was led to meet her. That those nudges were guidance ensuring that we met and had that exchange. In the midst of that deep sorrow, I simultaneously felt so grateful for following the leading to reach out to her. I knew that I was chosen to encourage her in that moment and provide her with a resource that may support her little one to have a different experience of self-love.

I shared my information with her and told her I’d keep her in my prayers (and I ask that you also add her to your prayers)…. Sometimes we don’t realize the power of following an intuitive nudge. Sometimes we don’t value our creations. Sometimes we question if our little decisions truly matter.

I got to see in that moment, that my decision to go to that particular store, rather than the other I was considering, at that exact moment, allowed me to be in the right place at the right time. Because I followed the vision in my head, rather than the overthought plan of going somewhere else, I was able to connect with someone I didn’t even know existed and we were mutually blessed.

I learned how important it is to follow those nudges, and I was reminded of how valuable the message of my book really is. We receive periodic nudges to go, do, say, create…. Far too often, we allow that critical inner voice to talk us out of following intuition. We ignore them, or change the plan.

The longer I live the more I realize, we are all connected. I now believe that our inspirations are other beings’ requests. It’s time for us to turn down the critical inner voice and begin to go where we feel nudged to go, do what we feel inspired to do, say what we feel compelled to say, and create what we feel led to create. I will never forget this experience. I will never forget that mom, or her beautiful little girl, or her 12 year old daughter who I didn’t get to meet.

I will forever look at I’m Proud to Be Natural Me! and think, “What if my book could save a life?”

Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist#Proud2BNaturalMe❤️💜💙💚

Please keep them in your prayers.