Your Dreams Are Possible

So I woke up and immediately got back to the journal prompts in my newest, life-shifting read, Amanda Frances‘ book “Rich As F*ck.” (I HIGHLY RECOMMEND IT! Especially on #Audible where you really get to be in her energy. I listened overnight two days in a row, and began approaching life differently. Now, I have my first viral video, which I posted after following a series of intuitive nudges I received the day after I started listening to her book. Coincidence? I think not. I don’t even believe in coincidence.)

Image of a multicolored brick wall with the words NOW POSSIBLE in large letters. Letter X crossing out original letter "t" with a "w" over it reveals that words originally read "NOT POSSIBLE" and have been changed to "NOW POSSIBLE." Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist mdillondesigns.com

Anyway, back to my story… 😆

Soooo…. I wake up and start working through the questions in step 2 of her amazing system for clearing out unhelpful beliefs. I was making a list of all the reasons my inner mean girl (who I call the #catfish**) believes my dreams are not possible.

I was jamming. My list was getting so detailed (especially the parts about my pending soul mate😍), that I had worked all the way down and crammed as much micro-scribble as I could into that skinny line at the bottom of the page, continued up the right margin, across the top, and then vertically down the left edge of the page. I was getting into it! I found more space to the left of my bullet points and began working back up to the top. As I eagerly squeezed in my last scribbled possibility at the tippy top of the left margin, I saw the words, “Not possible.”

See, I started the list yesterday, but wasn’t in the mood because I had been working for hours on these beliefs. When I was beginning the list yesterday evening, I wrote, “Not possible” in the margin as a prompt to remind me of what kinds of beliefs I was listing (in case I got off track). When I woke up today and continued the list, I had forgotten all about my two-word reminder at the top of the left margin.

To be honest, the list started out with that “Not possible” energy. The first five were painful. It started out as a “this sucks that I can’t have these things” list. But as I got going, I began hearing Amanda’s voice in my head saying, “Anything that says I can’t have what I want is a lie.” So as I began affirming her words as I listed my dreams. They became more detailed the more I excepted them as possible. I got really excited listing my possibilities. 🤩

I was flowing. I was writing so fast, frantically scribbling in details that I now realized were possible. Then I hit those two words, “Not possible.” My joy came to a screeching halt. It was so deflating. And my inner catfish was right there, hands on hips, pursed lips, saying, “Mmmhmmm… You thought! But it’s ‘NOT possible.” 😕

Right then, I remembered Amanda’s words, and heard her voice in my head saying, “Anything that says I can’t have what I want is a lie.” I looked at those two words, crossed out that “t” in “Not” and replaced it with a “w.” I defiantly said back to that catfish, “NOW. POSSIBLE.”

I will forever be grateful to Amanda Frances for her book, and how she’s poured into me and so many other women in her community, with her empowering knowledge. I am so grateful for the insomnia that led me to my Audible wish list at 4 a.m. two nights ago, and that I followed the intuitive nudge to grab her book and begin it immediately. I am so grateful for how unapologetic she is about being herself, which reminds me that it’s okay to be unapologetically me. And, I am sooo grateful for my new mantra that reminds me my dreams are “NOW possible.” So are yours. 😘

Blessings!

Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist

BTW…. I HIGHLY recommend purchasing Amanda Frances’ book, “Rich As F*ck” if you are tired of dealing with the same struggles with money AND are ready to do the inner work to shift your beliefs. It is one of the best investments I ever made. She also offers many courses on her website that are empowering for women around finances, entrepreneurship, course creation, overcoming perceived setbacks, and more.

Link to Amanda’s website

** “Catfish” is a term I use to describe that inner voice that tells us we’re not enough, talks us out of our dreams, and is generally discouraging, although well-meaning. After much awesome feedback on my You’re Being Catfished blog post, I decided to expand this concept into an upcoming book titled You’re Being Catfished: 7 Strategies for Overcoming Your Inner Critic, set to be released November 2022

If you loved this post and want to support my work, please visit my Support Page.

You’re Being Catfished

You ever met a liar that’s so good they could convince you that you aren’t you?

Photo of an artists hands sketching a face onto the page of a sketchbook. Text states Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist, You Are Being Catfished. Notice the patterns. mdillondesigns.com
Tap the play button to listen to today’s podcast. Tap & hold first if necessary, then tap play.
FYI I cuss so wait ’til the kids and elders aren’t around. Press play to listen to today’s podcast. Blessings!

That happened to me—well, it’s been happening. This chick is so good that she even sounds like me. She had me confused so many times. I heard her voice and knew she was me.

To be totally honest, I’m not even sure how many years—well, decades—I’ve been catfished.

But don’t worry. Lately, she’s been getting sloppy. Her phrases are becoming repetitive. She’s developing a pattern. I can almost predict what she’ll do next. I know what she’ll say, and even when she’ll show up.

I am developing a portrait of my inner critic. Like a sketch artist with a little more information, I’m filling in the details. Soon she won’t be able to fool me anymore.

I’ve heard that there are others out there, so I want you to be aware. Let me tell you a little bit about her….

She continuously diverts my attention away from inspired ideas by offering distractions, convincing me of reasons they’re not good ideas, and by bombarding me with negative what if’s. She loves to bring up past instances when I failed at whatever I’m about to attempt. And the thing that really got my attention was when I noticed her repeating the same phrases, no matter what I was attempting.

Some of her main phrases are:

  • “That’s not gonna work.”
  • “It’s gonna take too long.”
  • “You’re behind.”
  • “No one’s gonna want/pay you for that.”
  • “How are you gonna pay for that?”
  • “You should do that over.”
  • “You should _______ instead.”

Now, chances are that you’ve been catfished, too—not by my inner critic, but by your own. And it’s tempting to be really angry.

What I’ve realized recently is that my inner critic is actually my misguided bodyguard. She showed up to serve me…. to protect me. From childhood ’til now, she has kept a record of every moment that has made me feel sad, embarrassed, or unsafe. She has noted every moment of grief, guilt, and shame. She has made it her priority to remember what I was doing each time I experienced those emotions. Then, she uses this data to protect me from experiencing those emotions again.

When she sees I’m about to do something that resembles those past moments of pain, she shows up with stories, fake tasks, and even cravings to deter me from participating. She does everything she can, and will even lie, to protect me.

I believe you might have a catfish, too, and they’ve likely done the same thing to you.

The only problem is that these catfi…, I mean, misguided body guards… haven’t evolved. Many of them arrived in childhood, so they still have childlike beliefs about why things happened. So they are attempting to protect us from things that might not even bring us pain. If you had your tonsils removed as a kid, and all you got to eat was ice cream, maybe in adulthood you hate cold treats and don’t even know why. If you and your dad were besties and then he left, you might be hesitant to allow yourself to love that deeply again. If you put your heart and soul into a school project, but your teacher tore it apart in front of the entire class, you may have decided that day to only do mediocre work, or that being in the front of the room is not safe.

Our inner body guards are well-meaning, but misguided. They refuse to let us experience those hurts again, so they take on our identity. They speak within us to warn us of “certain” danger. They repeat the lessons others taught us about how the world works, what’s unsafe, who to trust, what’s too big for us. They repeat those phrases and stories, and get in our way as we attempt to evolve. Until we become aware of them, and take control of our thoughts, they can run our whole lives and keep us from so many great things.

I challenge you to begin to notice the patterns of when your inner body guard shows up. Notice the thoughts that cross your mind when you decide you’re ready to embark on something new, something expansive, something that feels like a great next step. Pay attention to moments when your excited energy shifts. What thought crossed your mind? Become aware of what’s going on within you.

Start to write down your objections to evolving. Eventually, you will begin to notice a pattern. You’ll begin to see cycles of doing other than what you want to do. Keep noticing. Eventually, you may realize that your thoughts are actually the voice of your catfish.

Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist #Proud2BNaturalMe❤️💜💙💚

Update: Thanks to the popularity of this post, get ready for my upcoming book! “You’re Being Catfished: 7 Strategies to Overcoming Your Inner Critic.” Expected release: November 2022🥳

Update 2: Thanks to ADHD this project is still pending. Hoping to get it out by the end of 2025.

If you loved this post and want to support my work, please visit my Support Page.

Time to Check In

Sometimes life throws back-to-back punches. 🥊

Sometimes people you trust wound you deeply. 💔

Sometimes your responsibilities feel overwhelming. 😩

image of a smiling curly haired child with both thumbs up to their sides. Text that says 'Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist What do you need right now? You okay? Maybe it's time to check in with yourself.' mdillondesigns.com
Tap this button to listen to audio version of this blog post on SoundCloud!
Tap to listen on SoundCloud!

It’s important to TAKE a few minutes for yourself and BREATHE.** 😌

Remember you are human. Check in with your body.

What do you need? Something to eat? A glass of water? A treat? A shower? A walk? Some time in nature? Some time by the water? When was the last time you danced? Listened to your favorite song? Watched your favorite movie? Meditated? Went to your favorite restaurant? Said, “No,” …. and gave no reason or apology?

If you’re a recovering people pleaser like me, you probably need to pause and prioritize yourself for a change. Put yourself at the top of the list—even if it’s just for 24 hours. One day a month (for starters) treat it like it’s your birthday. Put a smile on your own face. Love yourself the way you are committed to loving everyone else.

Life can be hard sometimes. You may have people in your life that make it harder. We have to find ways to replenish ourselves. We have to find ways to get through.

Let’s commit to check in with ourselves, even just once a day. When we feel off, grumpy, frustrated, overwhelmed, we can use that feeling as a trigger to check in and see what we need.

That’s a great start…. So let’s begin meeting our needs. This is one way we can regroup so we can show up in our lives and handle what we’ve got to handle.

Blessings!

Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist

** I have an app on my phone called Insight Timer. It has tons of free meditations and resources. I use it often for the guided meditations, including ones that teach you how to breathe intentionally to relax. I’ll try to remember to place the link to one of my favorites here.

I hope this post was helpful. Remember to check in with yourself, today.

If you loved this post and want to support my work, please visit my Support Page.

Do What You Gotta Do

Do you sometimes struggle with tendencies and thoughts that keep you from doing what you want to do?

Photo of Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist speaking to a room of middle school aged girls. Girls are sitting on the floor in a circle in the center of what appears to be the school library, bookshelves and desks are pushed against the walls.

I recently participated in psych testing to confirm what I already suspected about myself… that I’m not just introverted, I struggle with social anxiety. It was one of the most empowering things I’ve ever done (next to going to therapy… which actually led to the testing).

I am so grateful that I took that step because it is one of the ways that I am now able to shut up that inner mean girl—who I call the catfish—who’s been giving me a hard time for years.

So why these pics with this post? Let me explain…

I absolutely LOVE public speaking. I’m great at it, I’m natural to it, and every time I witness transformation. It is one of the most natural things on earth for me. I am completely guided. I rarely ever prepare. And I’ve never prewritten my talks. Most times I have NO IDEA what I’m going to say until they introduce me.

In my workshops, we don’t leave the room the same as when we walked in. I am changed, the girls are changed, and the mentors and teachers in the room are changed. My empowerment workshops are one of the greatest gifts I offer.

I am completely in the zone and guided in my workshops. The conversations we have and the activities we do just flow through me. Each time, when we come to the end (and during), I’m completely in awe of the healing transformations that took place.

I love seeing these photos as they remind me of the times when I role played with a student to have a healing conversation with her father to help her better understand his absence. I took on her questions and her pain and we embraced in the end and everyone of us in that room was moved. I remember the girls writing out the mean things family and classmates have said that left them wounded. And the beauty of watching them pass a mirror around the circle, looking into their own eyes saying, “I am enough,” and passing it to the next girl, while looking her in eyes and saying, “You are enough.” I remember one beautiful soul came out to her family during one of my talks. It was one of the most powerful and beautiful moments of my life.

Each time I post these events, it’s bittersweet. I love what I do, and I hate that due to social anxiety, I don’t do it anywhere near as often as I’d like. There’s that voice of the catfish in my head making me feel bad that the post is from so long ago. It’s always there to remind me of my perceived shortcomings. It’s even giving me a hard time now about not having finished my upcoming book, You’re Being Catfished, which will teach readers strategies I am using to live my life despite that inner critic. If you’ve followed my blog, you know that I regularly share the epiphanies I’ve had along this journey. I love that many of you have been blessed by these lessons…

With that said, this current social anxiety hurdle (and the strategies I’m employing to heal) will likely be part of the book. There’s no shame in seeking help for the areas that you can’t figure out on your own. Seeking needed supports at the right times is very empowering.

Sometimes we need to gain support outside ourselves to overcome what’s going on within. The psych testing was just a step and now with those results, I’ll be working with a new therapist to support me in reclaiming my power.

Maybe there’s something you’ve been struggling with and it’s time to consider what supports are available to help you overcome it. We don’t have to have it together all the time. And we don’t have to figure everything out ourselves. Take some time to sit with the realities you may be dealing with and maybe meditate on what some next steps could look like.

I meet my new therapist next week. Fingers crossed. Prayers accepted. 🥰

Blessings!

Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist