Who am I NOT to?

I am a solution, not a problem.

I am different because I was meant to add something new.

I am here because our world was a short a Me.

I am needed… despite what they told me.

I am a blessing… despite how they treated me.

I have a purpose… even if I don’t see it clearly…..

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I can see what makes me smile.

I can see my gifts and skills.

I can see what comes easy.

I can see my natural tendencies.

I can see what lights me up—my passions and my interests.

I can see what I investigate… what I love to learn about.

I can see what I hate, what infuriates me, what I’d love to change….

I can see that there is more I’d love to do….

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…. and who am I not to?

Who am I to ignore what calls me—the secret gifts I am afraid to explore?

What if that one thing that keeps nagging me is exactly why I am here?

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Who am I to not try because I expect to fail?

Who am I to be ready but so afraid of their response that I never begin?

Who am I to refuse to become who I came here to be?

Who am I to deny the world the truest version of me?

Who am I to spend my life as anything less than who I am?

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Who am to decide it’s easier to be an imposter than deal with their criticism?

Who am I to let anyone keep me from being me?

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Lately, I’ve had this deep knowing that there is more for me—that it’s time to do something more. I know I am holding back, even if no one else knows. I know exactly what that thing is and have a pretty clear idea of what I need to do next. But I’m not doing it. I’m not making time for it. I am clear that I am here to do more than what I’ve done. Chances are, you feel this way, too.

Is there something within you that you know is yours to do—something you’ve been putting off?

What is holding you back? What thoughts come up when you think about moving forward? Ask yourself. Get a journal or make a note somewhere private, record a voice note in your phone and answer the questions. You deserve to be honest with yourself about what’s holding you from being more you.

What if our fears are not reasons to avoid next steps, but actually our mind’s way of getting us to consider all our next steps, and get prepared?

What if the next step isn’t to do the thing? What if the next step is to see the possibilities—to make the What if it works list?

What if the next step is to brainstorm solutions to our inner objections?

What if the next step is to list our fears, then go through them one-by-one, and get curious asking, “If this happens, then what could I do?”

What if we decide to work through whatever we have to work through in order to live more authentically?

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Here’s a powerful tip that I learned many years ago from one of my favorite books. It’s great book for taking next steps on your dreams called, Making Your Dreams Come True by Marcia Wieder. This my paraphrased and amended version of her activity, so grab her book to get the full steps….

What you’re going to do is list your concerns about moving forward on the thing that’s within you. Then, sort your concerns into groups. You can make one group for interfering beliefs and the other group for steps you need to plan.

For the items in the beliefs group, you can ask yourself questions like, “Is this ultimately true?” “Is this a rule that applies to everybody, or just me?” “Is this logical?” “Is it possible that I could be wrong about this?” “What if it works out better than I imagine?”

For the action steps group, you can simply take them one by one and ask, “What do I need to know/do in order to complete this?” “Is this one goal, or can I break it up into a few smaller goals?” “Where could I find support for this?” “Who can help me with this?” “Where could I find a tutorial online?” “What one step could I do right now to move forward on this?”

Once you have some action steps, list them in order. And then get started. Do one micro step, today. It could be to Google something. It could be to regain contact with someone you’ll need so your first convo isn’t you asking them do something. It could be envision the end result you desire and work backwards, listing the steps you took to get there. You can walk yourself back to where you are today, mentally. All forward motion is progress, big or small. Do a step, then, do another. Don’t overwhelm yourself. Just focus on the next step.

We get to be the truest version of ourselves. The version we are afraid to expose may be exactly who we’ve come here to be. Our truest self is likely the solution to a missing piece in our world.

We have the right to live more authentically… one step at a time.

Honestly, who are we not to?

Blessings!

Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist

I had the pleasure of clearing my junk tray, today! 😁 I’m not even being sarcastic. I love organizing, and taking time to relocate random items from the tiny tray to their own junk drawer was actually my idea of fun. 😆🤓

As I sorted the items, I remembered where they came from and why I had them in the first place. It began to feel more like a “found objects” tray, a memories tray, or better yet, an “I’m sure I’ll find a use for this one day” tray.

Honestly, there were so many needless, useless things, that I maintained some odd attachment to…. an ink-stained push pin, an old rechargeable battery, a scented oil roller with one last drop of Egyptian Musk. 😍

I attempted to clear things out, and at first I actually threw a few things away. I could have made it easy on myself. I could have simply dumped the whole tray into the much larger drawer, with one quick flip. Instead, one-by-one, I inspected each piece. I tried (in vain) to release each one to the trash, while simultaneously arguing for its potential use. So one by one, I moved items I no longer need, or have a current use for, from the tray to the…. drawer. 😆

Very few made it to trash. I couldn’t help negotiating for their release to the drawer. “I may need that for a craft one day.” “I may remember what that goes to.” “I’m gonna regret that I threw that out.”

After 10 minutes of making little progress, I thought, “I could just end this, and move on to doing something else, with one quick flip of my wrist.” But I just couldn’t do it. I knew some of that stuff was actually trash, and I didn’t want it in the new clean drawer, so I sat for a minute, frustrated.

That’s when an idea came to me. I wondered if there was possibly a deeper meaning—a lesson—that I could gain from that moment. That’s when the words of my mentor came back to me. She says this phrase that I totally hate (hopefully she’s still taking her social media hiatus and doesn’t read this, lol). “How you do anything, is how you do everything.” 🙄 As much as I despise this phrase—and don’t believe it applies to all things—it know it applies here.

Whenever I do inner work, to clear out old beliefs that no longer serve me, I usually start out motivated. I’m seeing that one no longer applies, recognizing another came from someone else, and tossing this one in my mental trash. But as I continue to work, some beliefs bypass the trash and remain, because they still feel valid.

A belief like, “I’m not doing enough,” gets to remain because I when I look at where I am versus where I want to be, I deduce that if I was doing more, I’d be there. A belief like, “I’m in it by myself,” still feels valid, because as a single mom, solopreneur, I am more often than not performing most scenes of my life as a “one-woman band.” A belief like, “It’s probably not gonna sell,” sticks around because of the many times I was certain a product was going to be my cash cow and it barely sold at all. Within me, I know that these beliefs don’t serve me in any positive way, but I’ve held on to them because…. honestly there’s a comfort there in not being so disappointed when things don’t go my way because I already expected it. I brace myself for the disappointment in advance….

I didn’t like the way that felt. I know better. I know that we get what we expect. And if I want to change what I’m getting, I’ve gotta toss expectations that don’t line up with what I want.

I looked over again at my junk drawer, and the full tray that now sat in it and for a second I thought about the work of clearing it, and nearly decided to put it off and try again another day.

Then, I thought about my mentor’s phrase. I realized that I was doing the same thing with the junk that I did with my beliefs. I was holding onto things that I don’t need, just because it felt easier than doing the work….

So you know what I did? I went right back to that junk drawer and removed the tray. I went one-by-one and decided that anything that had no value to me currently was going in the trash. I resolved that if down the road I needed something I tossed, I would just buy another one.

With each item I picked up, I said out loud “I don’t keep things I don’t need.” Repeating that mantra helped me really look at each item and decide in the moment if it was needed—and honestly, most of them were not. I tossed so many things in the trash…. bottle caps, pen tops, and old rusted paperclips, fake nails, q-tips… Why was I keeping those?

As I tossed item after item, I repeated my new mantra. “I don’t keep things I don’t need.” I thought about the beliefs that I’m ready to toss… beliefs that no longer have purpose…. beliefs that don’t align with my current truths…. beliefs that hold me back from having the mental space to create the life I truly desire. I realized that it’s time to let those go….

It’s amazing how the most simple activity can have a deeper meaning. I am so grateful that I sat with the clutter and decided to do the uncomfortable thing and clear what no longer serves me. Now, I have a drawer of random found objects, that I can actually use, AND there’s room for more equally usable found objects. 😁

And, I now have a new mantra that I get to use in every aspect of my life. “I don’t keep things I don’t need.”

Maybe there’s an area in your life where you are holding on to things, thoughts, people, or even places that are no longer serving you. It’s not that you’re supposed to gain from everyone around you, but there should be some benefit, some sense of fulfillment even if you are the giver in a situation. Suze Orman taught that true benevolence is a gift to the giver as well as the recipient. If it just feels like a drain, and you’re the faucet, maybe something needs to change (even if only in perception).

Periodically, it’s healthy to evaluate where we stand and take the time to clear the clutter. Feel free to use my new mantra, it really worked for me. “I don’t keep things I don’t need.”

Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist #Proud2BNaturalMe❤️💜💙💚

What if it’s bigger than what we think?

What if it’s not our job to funnel our children into what we think they should be, or what society says they should be, but to really observe them, see who they are, and do everything in our power to get them there whole?

What if it’s our job to love them so fully as they are, that they don’t question their internal guidance?

What if it’s our job to teach them to know the voice of intuition versus fear?

What if it’s our job to support them in doing what they love so fully that it affords them the abundant life we envision for them?

What if we demonstrate self-love before them so they know what it looks and sounds like?

What if we demonstrate self-acceptance before them so they know that their mistakes don’t define them?

What if we train them to follow their gut instincts, rather than shame them?

What if we allow them to be themselves, rather mini versions of us/the us we wish we became?

What if we stop trying to break their spirits to make them more “acceptable?”

What if we surrender to who they are and who they are meant to be?

What if we love them unconditionally right into their individual destinies?

What if?

Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist