Random post….
There are some really gifted people, who we may believe in, that aren’t yet maximizing their potential. And it may frustrate us because we see what they are capable of and have even told them, but they don’t see to be catching on.
Just because we see it, and we say it, and if they know it for themselves, that doesn’t necessarily mean they feel ready, able, capable, qualified, healed, etc. to step into what we see. We may not know all they battle internally to do the little that we’ve seen, or to do it again if they’ve done a lot. We don’t know all the stories, and messages, and lies, and limiting beliefs, and fears, etc. that are going on within a person that pauses them from doing what seems like an obvious next step to us.
Now, as I say, that, I am not saying that if it is draining the life out of you to keep pushing a person to be, do, or have whatever you feel they are to be doing that you have to keep doing that. Maybe it’s not for you to keep being the person cheering them on and pushing them step by step. Maybe it’s for you to find other ways to encourage them OR it’s no longer your role. Maybe your role is less directly active and becomes more of an intuitive support where you spend a few minutes a day imagining them seeing themselves doing that thing that they want to do but aren’t quite doing yet. And maybe you leave it alone altogether….
But one of the absolute worst things you can do to a person who is down… a person you once encouraged is… to attack them for not getting up fast enough.
What we see as little effort, may have taken everything they’ve got. We have no idea what is going on within a person, around a person, or what they are overcoming internally in order to succeed. So many people who seem to have it together have so much going on. You may see things as “All they have to do is ______,” which is just one step to you, but to that person it may seem like climbing a mountain of stairs. Some things that are easy for us are hard for other people….
There are people who have been in my life who believed in me to a point. Some of my challenges seemed so nonsensical that they supported for a minute, but then gave up on me and their exit speeches were hurtful. It’s like having your nurse, or doctor turn on you for still being ill…..
I don’t believe that anyone needs to stick around and be that main source of support beyond what feels aligned or healthy, but I believe that you can exit in a way that isn’t hurtful. Even saying, “I really believe in you, and I trust that one day you’ll believe in yourself as I do,” is better than, “You’re so talented but you just don’t want to try.” Not everyone blooms immediately. Not everyone has the same strengths. There are a ton of talented people who don’t believe in themselves. That’s a place for compassion, not annoyance. Be grateful that’s not your struggle, rather than feel annoyed and superior…
If we don’t have the patience to continue nurturing someone, we can lovingly excuse ourselves, but we don’t have to curse them and kick them on the way out.
Just my random thoughts….
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