I discovered recently that I LOVE to engage with people who already see and get me. I despise having to persuade people of who I am and what I have to offer.
It took me a minute to come to a place of recognizing my value—I’m honestly still on that journey. (Oh, BTW, thanks for your prayers! I FINALLY have a new therapist and she is AMAZING!) I recognize that I don’t just find it uncomfortable. I legit despise it. I prefer to be with and work with people who already “see” me.
I noticed this tendency in friendships first. It started with “friendships” that I had for years (like decades), where I was finding myself experiencing misunderstandings about who I am. I got to a point where I was done. If you haven’t figured out I’m a good person, with pure intentions, and we’ve been cool for over 10 years, what are we even doing? That’s the quickest way to get me to throw up the deuces and wish you a great life. That’s the core of who I am.
Next, I started to acknowledge a similar need in my intimate relationships. When I’m with someone—even in a “situationship”—I am open and put it all out there. If I like you, you know it. If I love you, you know it. If I’m not experiencing reciprocity, you know it. I’m big on communication. Not the naggy kind, but the “I don’t like elephants in the room, so let me tell you what’s on my mind” kind. I don’t like to let things linger. I want to address it, early. I will tell you I have an issue as soon as I realize I have an issue… and I’ll do it with love….
What I came to see—through a beautiful (temporary) relationship I was in—is that I bring a lot to my relationships. In this relationship, I was taught to love myself because I got to see myself through their eyes and they loved me so dearly. I learned that those who did not value me in the past are the ones who missed out. I learned that I gave my goodness to people who did not appreciate it, and that I get to choose differently in the future. I learned to raise the bar of my expectations waaaay higher. I learned that I’m pretty freakin’ amazing and that there are people out there who can see that and will appreciate it. Through that relationship, I came to see how much more I deserved.
So recently, I started working with my new awesome therapist and realized how much I really hate working with people who don’t see my value. I don’t like having to convince people. I prefer to work with people who already “see” me and want what I have to offer.
I don’t just want friendships where I am seen for who I am, and intimate relationships where my value is obvious. I want clients, customers, and speaking opportunities with people who value who I am and what I offer.
I want my whole life to feel more natural and flowy…. less upstream.
I know “sales” is part of being an entrepreneur, but I also know I get to do things my way. I, of course, will need to be better about sharing who I am and what I have to offer. I can also improve on connecting with my target market. AND I’m choosing to not waste energy convincing anyone to work with me or buy from me, anymore.
I am choosing to believe that as I continue to share who I am, what I do, and all I have to offer—in the spaces where those who are most likely to appreciate my offerings are able to engage with my work—that my experiences of being in business will shift.
I am accepting that my audience exists, my ideal customers and clients are looking for me now, and I am providing them with opportunities to get to know me, work with me and shop with me. Now, that feels real good. 
Thanks for listening. (And I’d love for you to stand in agreement with me on this with good vibes and prayers.)
Blessings!
Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist
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