“I am exactly where I am meant to be. This is the trajectory of my life. I am on time.”
I received these words as I was listening to an Abraham-Hicks recording. I’ve listened to that recording at least a thousand times. Probably more. But for the first time I really heard this message.
I learned at a very young age to compare myself to those around me. If I wasn’t doing what they were doing, something was wrong with me. At least that’s the message I received.
It was just about two weeks ago that these words came to me and that belief I’ve held since I was at most 5 years old melted away. Based on my experiences, how I’m wired, how I learn, my motivations, the support I received or didn’t receive, traumas and triumphs, I am exactly where I am meant to be. I am not behind. I am on time… for MY life.
We all got here to do different things, have different experiences, have different likes, and to expand in different ways. The most damaging belief I’ve ever held in my life is that something is wrong with me if I’m not achieving at the same level as those around me. Since kindergarten I have been trying to “catch up,” because somebody told me I was behind.
I have spent my entire life feeling like the last one in the marathon, because I was told I was behind before I started the race. I’ve been dragging myself along, trying to appear as though I’m keeping up, when it feels like I’m running in place. I’m breaking a sweat, but in terms of progress by this society’s standards, at my age, I’m nowhere near where I’m supposed to be. I carried that heavy weight my entire life up until a few weeks ago when I heard these words.
Do you have any idea how freeing it is to realize it’s okay to get “there” when you get there? Do you have any idea the peace I felt when I realized that I have nothing to prove to anyone else? Can you imagine the weight it lifted to realize that I am exactly where I am meant to be? It’s like an elephant stepped off my shoulders.
Now, the tendency to feel that panic and angst about what I don’t have and what I haven’t yet achieved still creeps in. I mean, it is a habit. I’ve been doing it for DECADES. But now when that nagging little “catfish” voice comes up, I can soothe myself with these words. I get to calm myself knowing that this isn’t a race, it’s a journey. And we’re all headed to different destinations.
I’m not in competition with you and you’re not in competition with me. I celebrate your wins and see the possibilities for my own celebrations. I no longer need to look at where everyone else is and what they are doing and what they have and how they get to live and beat myself up internally for not being there, too. I get to look over, smile, and return to my own journey.
I’ll get where I’m going…. I’ll achieve my goals in time… But for now I am exactly where I am meant to be. This is the trajectory of my life. And I am on time.