It can be very painful to experience the same hurts repeatedly. This is why I am so committed to personal development.
The unfortunate reality is that we’ve been taught some things that aren’t healthy, that don’t serve us, and that cause us distress. Many patterns in regard to relationships, money, our health, and even the ways we view ourselves have come from beliefs we learned from others.
I remember Louise Hay once said that babies love themselves unconditionally, they’re never thinking, “Goodness, look at my thighs.” However, we over time pick up on beliefs from those in our environment, and from what we see, hear, and read. Overhearing others’ experiences, watching television, the news, and learning from how other’s experience us, all informs our beliefs and expectations.
A lot of our beliefs and expectations were dumped on us, or spoon fed to us. We may not even be aware of the beliefs we hold about certain things because we’ve never thought about it. We are attracting, and repelling, our desires based on our inner beliefs and expectations. Unfortunately, that means that our desires are often not in alignment with what we believe.
Lately, I have been taking inventory of my beliefs, because, honestly, I am tired of not having what I want. I realize that I need to be certain that my beliefs about what’s possible for me, and what I actually expect will happen for me line up. There’s a difference between what’s possible and what’s probable. It’s important that we feel solidly in our favor with both.
To this end, I am working through a ton of beliefs that have created patterns in my life that I don’t want to continue. I am ready for a new experience of life so I have to be willing to do the inner work to shift what I’m attracting. I am beyond the “I believe this because this happened to me,” phase. That is just a first step. Even though I didn’t actively install all this beliefs software, it’s still my responsibility to uninstall it. Yours, too.
So if you missed my point….
Healing our hurts, beliefs, and expectations is a HUGE part of attracting differently. In order to be in alignment with what we desire, we need to clear out beliefs that don’t serve us, AND develop new beliefs that do. We also need to ensure that our expectations match what we want. We need to imagine ourselves experiencing what we desire, and shift any beliefs within us that make that hard.
So, how do you even do that?
If we keep noticing an unwanted pattern, we have to take a minute to sit with ourselves and ask some REAL questions about the subjects that cause us the most distress. Questions like:
– “What do I believe about relationships, money, my health, etc.?”
– “What do I believe is possible for me in regard to having _______?”
– “Why don’t I trust ________?”
– “Why do I believe they can be/do/have ________, but I can’t?”
– “What did my family/environment/television teach me about _________?”
– “How does this belief show up in my life?”
We have to take the time to see what our beliefs have created, and attracted, in our lives. Then, we get to decide if we want that to continue. If we don’t, we can begin to tear down that belief. One simple question for doing this is, “But is that always true?” If we can find one instance that it’s not true, that’s enough for us to begin to question if this belief should be a rule, or used on a case-by-case basis, or thrown out all together.
And, if we’re really honest with ourselves, most of our beliefs came from opinions. That means they are made up. You may think you’re “fat,” but in another country/culture, people see you as “too thin.” You may feel you’re “broke” because you can’t afford the newest iPhone, but to a person who doesn’t have clean running water, you’re rich. It’s all relative. It’s all opinion. It’s all made up.
And since it’s all made up, anyway, we might as well make up new beliefs… ones that actually serve us. We can take our answers to those questions above and rewrite them into beliefs that serve us. We can shift. We can make new rules. We can create new beliefs. We can choose from now on to believe whatever serves us. I mean, we’ve believed plenty of lies about ourselves, why can’t we make up some new truths?
I’m rewriting my beliefs. I’m committed to attracting differently. Are you?