Today would be the 13th anniversary of my death. I realized that a few minutes ago as I wrote, “Nov. 4, 2021” at the top of the page in my journal.
For those of you who weren’t around that day, I was nearly shot and killed around 4pm on November 4, 2008. As I sat in a parked car waiting for my passenger’s conversation to end, a bullet pierced through my rear driver’s side window, narrowly missing the back of my head, and lodged in the door frame of my passenger side door. As shattered glass poured down my back, I was jarred back into reality, and the sounds of two gunshots echoed in my mind….
Later that day (or the next), I traced the trajectory of the bullet and realized that death missed me by 2 inches.
It’s not something I think about often. Well, I do think about it briefly each time I pass that intersection, but I don’t think about it in detail. And, I definitely don’t think about the tremendous impact of that moment.
Today, after writing that date in my journal, that’s all I could think about. I thought of all the lives I’ve touched since then, that I wouldn’t have. I had my own “It’s a Wonderful Life,” George Bailey moment and realized how much my presence matters.
I thought about my daughter who would’ve never been born. I didn’t even know I was pregnant until a month later.
I thought about the friends I’ve coached through deep grief.
I thought about the friends I’ve share healing messages with that I received intuitively.
I thought about all the girls I’ve spoken to in schools, libraries, and churches that I never would have empowered.
I thought about how my book would’ve never been read, because it hadn’t been written yet.
I thought about all my friends who are now authors because seeing me do it gave them the courage to try.
I thought about all the friends who I empowered with words and conversation starters for reaching out when tension was high last year, and everyone was scared to say the wrong thing.
I thought about the really close friendships I would’ve never experienced.
I thought about the posts I never would’ve written.
I thought about the woman I met at Friday’s who I coached through her divorce and how happy she is now no longer dealing with her ex husband’s alcoholism.
I thought about the people I never would have encouraged.
I thought about so many things that would have been different, so many connections that wouldn’t have happened, so many lives that I wouldn’t have touched….
Sometimes we don’t see our value until the oddest moments cause us to reflect. Maybe you’re not where you want to be in life, and the thoughts of that consume you. Just know that you are still here for a purpose and that you touch far more people than you’ll ever know.
Sometimes I think about how one stranger who smiled at me or said, “How you doin’?” completely turned my day around. That one moment of connection shifted how I interacted with the next person, the next driver, my family, etc. We are so connected. That person who ran late and got on the bus seconds before it pulled off three stops before yours, caused the bus to stop at that red light that allowed you to catch it a few blocks later. We are connected. The person who kindly held the door for that person who was having a bad day, helped them to get in their car in a better mood, so they got into traffic in a better mood, and didn’t ruin the next person’s day. We’re interconnected.
As you go through life, realize that the choices we make impact the next person, and let’s move and interact in ways that make our world a little better one interaction at a time.
Blessings!
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