This is not a “suck it up and get over it” post. I hate those. They are emotionally damaging in my opinion. This is an “it happened and now we are here, so how can we heal or use it?” post.
Things happen in life that we wouldn’t have chosen, or that we chose when we had less information. We get to decide what happens next. We can put the car in park, for a while or indefinitely. We can keep driving and see how far we get by staring in the rearview mirror. Or we can, like the GPS, reroute and decide where we go from “here.”
Sometimes we experience setbacks, losses, and temporarily paralyzing events. We get to have a human response. At some point, however, we get to say, “That happened, and it didn’t take me out, so how do I heal, overcome, or use it?” “What can I do now?” “Do I put this in my trunk as baggage, or in my tank as fuel?”
I choose to believe that if it didn’t take me out, I can get beyond it. I have some hurts that still grip me now, but I’m healing so I can let them go. I have others that I can’t simply drop because they are outside of my control, but I get to choose my mindset regarding them. I am currently learning things about myself that I wish I knew as a child. Nothing I can do about that, but decide what I do with that information, now.
Sometimes we get the opportunity to heal by teaching our children what we learn in adulthood, so they don’t have to suffer and struggle for decades with the same issues. Sometimes we get a second chance to live a dream we let go of in the past. Sometimes the best we can do is choose to seek help to endure our present or release what happened to us long ago.
Let’s choose to do what we must to heal, or release, what we can from our past so that we can live a more full present. Whether that’s making an appointment with a therapist, getting that checkup, taking a class online, getting your GED, taking dance lessons, pouring your heart out graveside, writing a healing letter of forgiveness and burning it (safely), apologizing to your child, friend, parent, or spouse…. (if that’s what’s best for all involved).
We’ve all got stuff we’ve been dragging around, things that have been holding us back for too long. We get to choose. We can continue to stare at the wound, or heal it. Let’s let some stuff go. Let’s give ourselves a better today, and tomorrow. Let’s let go of yesterday. We have a choice. Stare at the wound, or attempt to heal it.
The past is over. What are you going to do with the present?