What are you setting free this year?

For me, I keep finding myself noticing the tendency to want to hide my truth, for fear of judgment. I’m realizing how much life I’ve given up trying to protect an image that technically means nothing to me. I’m releasing shame.

I think, honestly, a lot of shame is really centered in a fear of abuse. It’s not so much that the person feels bad about anything they’re doing. It’s more about the concern of being mistreated because of it, or ostracized, or called a “disappointment.”

So much of what it means to be a human is centered around belonging. And for those who have struggled with being treated as one who belongs, it’s often easier to hide than to stand boldly outside the box.

This year, I feel challenged to be more honest about who I am—to be one person no matter where I go. For the longest time I was a different person with every person I engaged with. I morphed to become who they needed me to be, or who I felt they expected me to be.

One thing that people often say about me is that I’m authentic. And I appreciate that because it truly is a work in progress and it’s beautiful to know that people see me in that way. It shows that I am doing the work to be fully me. And it is work.

I’m gathering my parts and pieces, and accepting that being a different person in every room is too exhausting. I don’t want to work that hard anymore. I am loving myself more this year. And one way that I’m doing that is by no longer hiding parts of me. I’d rather be fully me while you cover your eyes and ears.

With that said, I am doing something that is somewhat terrifying while fully exciting. This is something that I have been wanting to share for a while, and had intended to do it in 2020, and was setting up the details for it. Then, the world shut down.

It’s taken me a long time to get back to a place of considering doing it. I was setting up to offer private, group classes, but the 3 year hiatus strongly impacted my momentum.

I’m so grateful to my friend, fellow author, and gifted intimacy coach, Angie D. Lee for hearing my desire to move forward with this venture (I call Eggplant Goddess™)—an opportunity to empower women to feel more comfortable in the bedroom.

When I shared it with her, she was so encouraging and supportive. She offered me the opportunity to come on her podcast and I’m so grateful. This Friday, with her help, I’ll be bring my skills out the darkness and into the light.

As you must know by now, I am all about empowerment. That’s why I call myself Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist. I am particularly passionate about women’s empowerment. And that comes in many forms. One form is that I help women become comfortable pleasing their intimate partners. (Yep. I meant exactly what you think I meant. 😂) Many women are actually insecure in this area. I’m not. 😅 So, in private, I have supported many women to develop skills and confidence. But I’ve never shared this publicly.

I was going to be afraid that I would scare off my current audience or be looked at in a weird way (given that I’m also a children’s book author). But I’m so grateful for this community that I’ve created here, that constantly affirms me and lets me know that you all accept me as I am, and even encourage me to continue to be more authentic. And I thank you so much for your love and support. (I’m even cussing now. 😂 Primarily on my podcast since it still feels weird here. 😅)

It’s such a relief to be more myself—to expose more of me so I can be more of service. I am a complex individual, with a broad set of skills, passions, and interests. And I believe I get to use all of it for the greater good. I have held myself back for so long because of fear of judgment, fear of shame, …. for fear of losing support and ultimately love.

What I realize now is that by hiding myself and by not allowing myself to serve in all the ways that I was created to serve, I am losing so much more. I’ve made gods of people while denying the god that is within me.

There will always be people to judge and there will be trolls and people who criticize. There will be people who overestimate the value of their opinion, and I just have to make peace with that.

As scary as it is, I’m done dodging the criticism. For all I know it was never coming anyway. And honestly it just reveals which people are not aligned with me…..

So… I’m setting my good girl image free. She once was me. She served her time, but it’s a new season. Bye, innocent one. 🎈😘

This was a long ass post to basically say….. “On Friday, I’ll be joining my sistas on a podcast where we’ll be talking about s*x.” 😆 We’ll be addressing the shame and taboo topics, and the religious and societal influences. And we’ll be answering questions and sharing tips.

Thank you, again, Angie for allowing me to participate in your Girlfriends Chat.

Join us! This online event will be streaming live on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube. Be sure to RSVP at the link so that you are notified! https://fb.me/e/461bod2lp

Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist

Realizing that alignment feels different than discipline….
This is just me talking about what works for me. Believe and do what works for you.

It’s the simple things that can give me deeper revelations. I used to get those Quaker Oats (1/3 sugar) flavored oatmeal packets, because they were a quick option. Over the years it seemed like the sugar to oatmeal ratio just kept getting worse. And eventually I didn’t just feel “guilty” eating them, I didn’t like them. I didn’t want a bowl of sugar with an oatmeal garnish.

Honestly, I probably bought them two more times AFTER coming to that conclusion… because it was simpler than figuring out how to make real oatmeal. (Of course, now I realize it wasn’t that complicated, but I thought it was gonna take a day and half of boiling, like grits.😅)

Each time I ate them, I felt like I was doing something wrong. (Not to mention I’d throw out 1/3 of the packets because that cinnamon flavor is so nasty. Who wants that? Ewww.)

Anyway, back to my point….

Recently, I was at Whole Foods and I saw this oatmeal…. Just regular old, we haven’t done much to it, but put it in the bag, oatmeal. And I bought it. And I thought about what flavors would be nice to taste, AND would be nice to my body. So I added a little honey for the sweetness, a pinch or two of salt because (as Tabitha Brown says) “that’s my business,” and then I thought, “Hmmm…. I wonder how cardamom would taste in here?” So I shook a little of that in there. And LAWD, it was delicious!

I gave myself time to think about what I wanted. I trusted myself to figure it out. I realized that it really is a “boil water and stir” simple process. And I’m now enjoying oatmeal that feels good going down.

I’m not forcing myself to eat right. I’m choosing foods that feel good to eat. And I’m doing it in a way that satisfies my palate. And I’m really proud of myself for that.

I’m sure discipline has its place…. AND I prefer to find ways to make things (I already want to do) enjoyable. I don’t want to make eating a chore. I want to enjoy it. And by simply aligning with my truth and giving myself room to try something new, I found a new favorite thing to eat.

Blessings!

Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist

“When we lose our passion for what we once loved, maybe it’s time to reassess our purpose.” — Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist

Sometimes our feelings change and we prematurely “jump ship.” Our feelings and our choices tend to correlate with the kinds of questions we ask ourselves.

Before we ask questions like, “Is it time for me to leave?” And “Do I even want to do this anymore?” We can ask ourselves more empowering questions, like:

– “What was my intention when I started? Has it changed?”
– “If I chose to pivot here, what would I enjoy doing/offering/learning? etc.”
– “Has my purpose changed?”
– “Can I still be of value here?”
– “Is it time for me to set new intentions?”
– “Is there possibly a win-win I’m overlooking?”
– “Is it healthy for me to continue?”

I admittedly tend to pack up when the passion lulls. Today, I am challenging myself to reassess my purpose and see if I’ve still got it in me to keep going.

A lot of people are setting goals for the future right now, but some of us need to be evaluating what we’re doing in the present.

If that’s you, take a break with some tea, a journal, and good music, and think about these questions, or allow these to spark some of your own.

I just want to do more of what makes me feel alive and blissful. And taking time to get in alignment with what I do is a huge part of that.

I hope this is helpful for you.

Blessings!

Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist

*If you found this post empowering, you should definitely check out my podcast, or my blog, and follow my page Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist. 

Read my blog: mdillondesigns.com/blog
Listen to my podcast: soundcloud.com/marlenedillon
Watch my podcast videos on YouTube: youtube.com/@marlenedillonempowerment