Today would be the 13th anniversary of my death. I realized that a few minutes ago as I wrote, “Nov. 4, 2021” at the top of the page in my journal.

For those of you who weren’t around that day, I was nearly shot and killed around 4pm on November 4, 2008. As I sat in a parked car waiting for my passenger’s conversation to end, a bullet pierced through my rear driver’s side window, narrowly missing the back of my head, and lodged in the door frame of my passenger side door. As shattered glass poured down my back, I was jarred back into reality, and the sounds of two gunshots echoed in my mind….

Later that day (or the next), I traced the trajectory of the bullet and realized that death missed me by 2 inches.

It’s not something I think about often. Well, I do think about it briefly each time I pass that intersection, but I don’t think about it in detail. And, I definitely don’t think about the tremendous impact of that moment.

Today, after writing that date in my journal, that’s all I could think about. I thought of all the lives I’ve touched since then, that I wouldn’t have. I had my own “It’s a Wonderful Life,” George Bailey moment and realized how much my presence matters.

I thought about my daughter who would’ve never been born. I didn’t even know I was pregnant until a month later.

I thought about the friends I’ve coached through deep grief.

I thought about the friends I’ve share healing messages with that I received intuitively.

I thought about all the girls I’ve spoken to in schools, libraries, and churches that I never would have empowered.

I thought about how my book would’ve never been read, because it hadn’t been written yet.

I thought about all my friends who are now authors because seeing me do it gave them the courage to try.

I thought about all the friends who I empowered with words and conversation starters for reaching out when tension was high last year, and everyone was scared to say the wrong thing.

I thought about the really close friendships I would’ve never experienced.

I thought about the posts I never would’ve written.

I thought about the woman I met at Friday’s who I coached through her divorce and how happy she is now no longer dealing with her ex husband’s alcoholism.

I thought about the people I never would have encouraged.

I thought about so many things that would have been different, so many connections that wouldn’t have happened, so many lives that I wouldn’t have touched….

Sometimes we don’t see our value until the oddest moments cause us to reflect. Maybe you’re not where you want to be in life, and the thoughts of that consume you. Just know that you are still here for a purpose and that you touch far more people than you’ll ever know.

Sometimes I think about how one stranger who smiled at me or said, “How you doin’?” completely turned my day around. That one moment of connection shifted how I interacted with the next person, the next driver, my family, etc. We are so connected. That person who ran late and got on the bus seconds before it pulled off three stops before yours, caused the bus to stop at that red light that allowed you to catch it a few blocks later. We are connected. The person who kindly held the door for that person who was having a bad day, helped them to get in their car in a better mood, so they got into traffic in a better mood, and didn’t ruin the next person’s day. We’re interconnected.

As you go through life, realize that the choices we make impact the next person, and let’s move and interact in ways that make our world a little better one interaction at a time.

Blessings!

Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist#Proud2BNaturalMe

Anybody else been having C+ days, lately? Gotta love ourselves through them. Ebb and flow doesn’t just apply to the ocean. We’re 70% water, too. Some days we’re A+ and some days we’re not. We have to love ourselves in every state….

“Life for me ain’t been no crystal stair.”

Langston Hughes

About once a week, those words from Langston Hughes’ poem, “Mother to Son” come to mind. It’s a beautiful poem of a mother telling her son to not give up, that despite the challenges of life, she’s still persevering, and he can, too.

The last two days, I’ve been listening to Toni Braxton’s “Let It Flow” on repeat. It’s not because I’m on the brink of a break up. (I’m still team single over here. 😆) It’s because I need to remind myself that it’s okay to not be in control all the time. I need to let things flow and, honestly, be less uptight.

I am admittedly experiencing one of the most challenging seasons of my adult life. I’m not going through a terminal illness or anything like that. I’m just processing life, with multiple aspects under construction. I am building my dream, while navigating my right now. Some days that can be exhausting.

Despite being a little too aware of what I want to change, I am more determined than I’ve ever been to pursue my dreams. So the dance between optimism and pessimism sometimes leaves me feeling emotional, exhausted, and honestly wondering if things will ever be REALLY good.

As an empowerment specialist, this is a weird thing to admit. However, I feel that my honesty serves, too. I don’t have it all together. I’m navigating life, too. What I’ve learned is that my lessons along this journey have value. As I learn, I share.

Inspiration comes to me that helps me navigate my moments. Most of my posts came from insights I receive intuitively—guidance from “all there is” that helps me make sense of where I am right now.

I get so excited about having instructions on how to navigate that moment, that the majority of my posts were written within minutes of receiving that guidance. I can recognize truth when it comes to me. I’m wise enough to know that it didn’t come from me because seconds before I was clueless having no idea what to do. I’ve been practicing listening to divine guidance since high school so I eagerly share it because I know it will be helpful not just to me, but to you, too. And it has been. (I love receiving your messages and comments about how my posts inspired you. They inspired me, too, lol. Thanks Universe! 😆)

Anywho, I wrote this post to share with you what I do to transition and keep going on the days that feel hard….

Quick sidebar: Before someone calls me out on discouraging people from “feeling the feelings,” I am just sharing what I do. These may resonate with people who process similarly to me. I believe that everyone processes life differently, due to personality, upbringing, environmental factors, societal conditioning, zodiac signs, human designs, past/present trauma, and so much more. I think that SOME people who are more comfortable emoting can be a bit judgy toward those who aren’t. I happen to be one who deals better with processing the less comfortable emotions in the company of a therapist, rather than in my own space. But that’s me. I respect everyone’s right to heal and deal differently. So there’s that….

Okay. So here are some of the things I do to keep moving forward when I feel like I’m being b*tch slapped by life. 😆

❤️💜💙💚 JOURNAL – I write in my journal. I don’t just vent. Sometimes I do, of course, but MOST times I try to be intentional about what I’m writing and why.

For example, I journal:

• 3 statements each for the prompts: “I forgive myself for…,” “I love myself for…,” I release myself to….” – “10 things I did right today….”
• Alphabet Gratitude – I “number” a sheet of ruled paper from A to Z, with one letter per line. Then, I write something that I’m grateful for that begins with each letter of the alphabet. By the time I get to “T” I usually feel better. Coming up with “X” and “Z” will do it for sure. 😁
• Inner Child Conversation – There’s a part of us that most adults don’t know to acknowledge. I used to think the concept of an “inner child” was woo woo nonsense. I am grateful however that I did my research and decided to be open and give it a try. I was surprised that it is legit. So how do you connect to your inner child? One technique I learned involves writing to your inner child with one hand and the responses with the other. So I write a question to my inner child with my dominant hand. (e.g. “Are you feeling sad?”) Then switch the pen to my non-dominant hand and allow the answer to flow from within. I don’t make it up. I sit and listen. And the words flow. (e.g. “Yes. Because….”) It is an amazing experience. If you are patient, and relax your skepticism a little, the responses really do flow. I know it’s legit because the answers that come through are not answers I would have thought of. There is a bypass that occurs when we switch to writing with our non-dominant hand that allows us to connect intuitively without our mind interrupting the communication. Just try it. I was skeptical, too. But it’s been very healing. (I’ll post a book in the comments/below that can support you in this if you have questions.)

❤️💜💙💚 CONNECT – I reach out (call, text, message…) a friend/family member/someone in my “tribe.”

• I text a friend that I communicate with often and tell them I’m in a funk. The important part here is that I know which friends will meet me with compassion and encouragement, and which will meet me with a stern, “swift kick in the pants.” 😆You have to know which you need in the moment, and reach out accordingly.
• I reach out to friends/family I haven’t heard from in a while. Sometimes the best way to feel better is to help someone else feel better. When we reach out to someone—not asking for anything, but just to let them know they’re on our my mind—that brief interaction can completely shift the energy of their day, and give us a boost, as well.

❤️💜💙💚 CREATE – I find a way to express myself that feels good. (The route needs to not cause hurt/harm to anyone else, lol.)

• I create some form of visual art. I paint. I complete ceramic projects. I grab my gel pens and print a coloring page from a website for kids. I just find a way to create.
• I write a song. Songwriting is my most natural gift. I sing all day, even when I’m unaware of it. So when I’m in a funk, sometimes I write a song in the moment to express how I’m feeling, or how I want to feel.
• I write. Sometimes my blog posts are birthed out of those funky moments. Honestly this one began that way, lmao. I express myself via haiku. Haiku is poetry that requires three lines. The first and third lines are 5 syllables each and the middle line is 7 syllables. Expressing myself this way (which I do as another form of journaling) helps me express what’s bothering me when I can’t get the words out. It forces me to get to the point. Here’s an example:

Today, was just wack.

I had so much work to do.

All I did was sleep.

#Truestory Haiku helps me get it out without spending hours rehashing every detail. It’s a great way to release the day. You can just set a 10 minute timer and get it all out your system, then do something that feels good and go to bed with less on your mind. Works for me.

Hope these help! Have an amazing day, night, afternoon, etc.

Love and blessings!

Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist #Proud2BNaturalMe❤️💜💙💚

You feel like you’re failing because you’re not doing it their way. You feel like they are judging your moves. You don’t realize that YOU are judging you, in anticipation.

Past experiences cause YOU turn against you… to brace yourself for the impact of expected judgment.

Be who YOU are and let them think what they want to think.

Be true to YOURSELF, your desires, your needs, your priorities.

Make moves that make sense for YOU.

We are all here for our individual journeys. We’ll never reach OUR individual destinations by navigating our lives by THEIR map.

Mentorship is great. Seasoned wisdom is appreciated. And at some point, we have to care less about outside opinions and follow what WE know is right.

From Me to me… and maybe to you, too.

Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist#Proud2BNaturalMe

I recently watched an interview of Sadhguru, and a quote stuck with me.

“They think they are suffering life. They are not suffering life. They’re suffering the two most fantastic faculties that human beings alone have: a vivid sense of memory and a fantastic sense of imagination.”

— Sadhguru

With that revelation, I began to think of how my mind uses painful memories to paint visions of how things can go wrong in the future. My memories are responsible for my anxiety.

As you may know, I love books about understanding the mind. I am currently doing a deep dive into the works of Neville Goddard, and I was led to a book that gave me a new piece to this mind puzzle.

“Start now to observe your reactions to life and do not allow yourself to become identified with any unlovely state…. If you continue to have the same reactions, you have not changed your feelings.”

— Neville

When I combined the two teachings, I realized that my memories of sucky moments in my past, were painting negative expectations over my visions of the future. I was worrying that what happened before, would occur again. I was feeling worried because I was reacting to the past, rather than reacting (in advance) to what I desired in the future.

This revelation is not groundbreaking science, but this discovery for me is HUGE. When I fully believe that what I desire is mine, I am not worried. My reaction lets know that I am not yet fully convinced, or focused, on the outcome I desire.

One of my core beliefs is that “thoughts become things”—what we envision with dominant emotions becomes our reality. When I picture a situation going wrong, and fear it will occur unfavorably, my thoughts predict and create that outcome. My memories of similar situations going wrong, choke out my positive expectations of things going right.

However, now that I am aware that worry is my reaction to envisioning things going differently than I desire, I can use that reaction a signal to refocus. I can take control of my thoughts by being aware of how I feel.

So I decided to create a new habit. Whenever I feel worried, I will ask myself, “What am I reacting to?” That simple question helps me to recognize that I am focusing in the wrong direction. Anxiety and excitement are the same energy, just one is focused toward we want and one is focused toward what we don’t want. With this new habit I am forming, I can catch myself mid-thought and turn my attention to what I want.

And, guess what. I am already beginning to see shifts!

We often think it’s major events, and unexpected miracles, that turn our lives around. The reality is that our lives are driven by our thoughts. Small shifts in perception, can bring about HUGE changes….

In one of my empowerment workshops, I taught a group of young ladies how small shifts can produce great results over time. Here’s how it works….

Imagine that you have the super power to walk (safely) through walls. Imagine you’re standing outside your front door holding a gigantic ball of yarn. Tie the free end of the yarn to your front doorknob, face the street, and start walking forward. Pass through houses, buildings, and traffic. Look around. Where are you after 3 blocks? 6 blocks? 3 miles? Okay, hit rewind, and quickly travel back to your front door. (You’ve already tied the yarn to the doorknob and are facing forward.) Now, pivot (turn) your feet slightly to the left (about 15-20 degrees, if you need specifics). Okay, now start walking. Where are you in 3 blocks? 6 blocks? 3 miles? In 3 miles, from that small pivot, you are nowhere near where you ended up after 3 miles walking straight forward. (You may return to reality, now, lol.)

This is how dramatic the shifts in our consciousness can be. By making small shifts in our thoughts, we can make MAJOR shifts in our lives.

As we begin to pay attention to our reactions, we can see if we are truly in alignment with what we desire to manifest. Are we facing toward our goals, or away from them?

This morning, as I found myself worrying, I asked myself, “What am I reacting to?” I realized that although I desired a better experience this morning, in my mind, I was reliving yesterday and the day before. As I began to pay attention to what I was reacting to, I realized that I have been doing this in other areas of my life. It finally made sense why I was not manifesting the experiences I desire because I was still envisioning— and REACTING to what I don’t want.

I am so excited about the possibilities that this simple practice will create in my life. This morning, alone, I saw how things shifted. I stopped freaking myself by anticipating things going as they had before. I caught myself reacting and remembered to focus on what I want. By simply noticing when I felt worried, and pausing to ask, “What am I reacting to?” I witnessed a shift from what seemed inevitable….

I am sharing this with you now because I want everybody to win. I want to save you time, pain, drama. If I discover something that works from me, I’m not waiting til I’m in my multimillion dollar villa to share it with you. We can all rise together. Everything I’ve learned and applied from Neville’s teachings has brought me closer to my goals. And this new revelation for me, I can tell is going to be a major gamechanger….

Maybe you have a habit of worry. Begin to pay attention to your reactions, (for example, feeling anxious, when you want to feel hopeful). The simple step of noticing when you feel this way is a big step. Then, you can become aware of what brought on that feeling by asking yourself, “What am I reacting to?” Resist the urge to go back down that rabbit hole. Instead, simply recognize that you feel the way you feel because of what you are focused on. If you desire to feel differently, you’ll need to shift your focus.

Maybe shifting completely to focusing on what you’d rather experience is too far for your mind to travel in that moment. Instead you can choose to focus on something that makes you feel better. Playing (or thinking of) a favorite song, can help. Getting up to grab a drink of water, can help. Saying (or thinking of), a positive affirmation/mantra, can help. (And if you’re familiar with work of Joseph McClendon III shaking your toosh, can help. )

Yesterday, I started doing a jigsaw puzzle, that helped. When I found myself feeling “off” or focused on something worrisome, I set my Pomodoro timer for 15 minutes and sat with my puzzle. I read a post yesterday that said that there are studies that say playing Tetris is a huge way to shift, even after major traumas. )

The main thing is to begin to be aware of our reactions— to pay attention to the thoughts that are causing our feelings.

Let’s create a new habit to interrupt thoughts that cause us discomfort. This small practice can bring about big changes.

“If you do not like what you are encountering in life, rearrange your thoughts by changing your consciousness.”

—Neville

Hope this helps. Blessings!

Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist

*** I’ll post links to the video, books, and social media post I referenced, below.

• Sadhguru Video: https://youtu.be/Gw1I7fqmxmA
• Neville Quotes: Neville Goddard The Power of Unlimited Imagination
• FANTASTIC series of Neville Goddard’s works: Neville Goddard: The Complete Reader
• Facebook Post on Tetris: https://www.facebook.com/113098573762126/posts/401409161597731/