If you could go back in time and give your younger self advice, what would it be?
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The one thing that I now realize all these decades later is that no one really knows what they’re doing. Okay, a few people had a plan and worked that plan. But more often than not, people—at all levels and in all positions—have gotten where they are by making it up as they go along, figuring it out in the moments, and even lying that they knew what they were doing and had experience just to get the job.
All my life, I thought everybody got it but me. And, of course, on some level, I was right about that. In school, it was obvious who understood and who didn’t. But even then, it wasn’t that obvious, because my grades had people fooled that I had a clue. I didn’t. I was fighting for my life, teaching MYSELF because I couldn’t understand in school. I was cramming for tests because the in class instructions were over my head. I was my own teacher and never knew what was going on in my classes. And nobody knew, apparently not even my teachers.
Over the years, I’ve asked people in all walks of life, at all levels, if they always had it together. And most of them have told me, they are just winging it, that nobody really knows what they’re doing, that everyone is just acting like they’ve got it together.
So if I had one thing I could tell you, it would be to stop comparing yourself to others. Become very clear on who you are, what matters to you, what you do well, and what you enjoy doing. Then be that, do that, and care about that. Do your best in any given moment. And know that your best will change from moment to moment, so give yourself grace. And most importantly don’t judge yourself by those around you. It seems like we’re in a race, but it’s more like an expressway. We’re side by side, moving forward on our individual journeys. Don’t worry about the other lanes. Do you. Be you. Enjoy your own journey.
Blessings,
Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist
