So yesterday I showed you the dopamine-is-doing-its-job side of ADHD. Welp. It was nice while it lasted.
In 24 hours, I went from living “the ADHD urge to do EVERYTHING you can think of in one day, cuz you don’t know when that dopamine will hit again,” to only having enough energy to begin a task.
I used to get so angry with myself and be so frustrated. I would be asking myself, “why can’t I get my sh*t together?” Now, after realizing so many neurodivergent people—particularly those with ADHD—share my experiences, I’m more gentle with myself. I know that it’s not just me. I’m not lazy. I’m not a “quitter.” I’m not unwilling to “put in the work.” The chemical make up of my brain influences my abilities to self-start, focus, complete tasks, prioritize, control the urge to do what’s easy rather than what’s hard, etc.
I’m four decades in and I’m finally at a place where I don’t want to be mean to myself anymore. I am loving and understanding. And when the old tendency to criticize myself comes out, I just combat it with love. I apologize to myself—and my inner child—immediately. I acknowledge that I’m not “f*cking up,” I’m actually doing my best. And I let it be okay. And when I’m able/ready, I try again or I just pick another thing that needs to be done and attempt to do that.
Many of us who are diagnosed/self-diagnosed as adults have a lot of old messaging to overcome. We may need to re-parent ourselves. How? We support ourselves in the ways we wished they did when we were little. We recognize behaviors as symptoms and signs, rather than character flaws. We look for resources to support us with the things that are challenging. For example, finding influencers on social media who post videos and tips that support neurodivergent people. There are people who post tips and videos on TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, etc. that share their strategies for living with, and working around, the challenges that often come with being neurodivergent. (One of the first I learned of is Black Girl Lost Keys. And there are many more.)
I’m kinda grateful that I didn’t have two rock star days in a row, because it gave me the opportunity to share this. Maybe it supports you, or maybe it helps you better understand someone you care about. We need love, not judgement. Honestly, we’re hard enough on ourselves.
Blessings,
Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist
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Day 1 “ADHD Be Like Part 2” #SEPTEMBER Share & Let’s Live! #Podcast Series w/ Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist
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Blessings!
Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist
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