Turn the Other Cheek

Image: Turquoise background with white and purple text. Centered on the page is a Black man in a gray t-shirt holding his hand out as if to say, "stop, don't come any further." Text states: Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist
Unpopular Opinion: I'm done going out of my way to be nice to people who hurt me with no remorse.
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There is an associated podcast episode for this blog. To listen, tap the button below.

Today, I gave myself a gift.

I was always raised to take the high road, to be nice to people who mistreat me, to turn the other cheek. For most of my life, I’ve been a doormat, I let people treat me any kind of way and then just let them be. If our paths crossed, I’d still be polite, because “that’s the right thing to do.” I’d take all their attacks, abuse, the slander, and still greet them politely.

Today, I nearly did the same. I saw them and that part of my upbringing that echoes in my mind was getting louder and louder. “You have to speak. At least wave. It doesn’t look good. It’s rude. That’s not the way you were raised.” I nearly gave in to that voice. Then, I closed grabbed my purse, closed my car door, and … turned the other cheek. I walked right up my stairs, unlocked my door, walked in and closed it behind me.

And yes… I’m still wearing those leggings from earlier…. but it’s dark out so they might not have noticed that I really turned the other cheek.

Sometimes the most empowering thing we can do for ourselves is to stop acting like we’re cool with people who treat us like sh*t. I’ve decided to stop going out of my way to be nice to them. I will not mistreat them. AND I will no longer behave inauthentically. (You don’t like me. I don’t like you either. Let’s drop the pretenses.)

This year has been a voyage into all things authenticity for me. I am grateful that I had this opportunity to show up differently and turn my back on those who are not for me.

It felt good. It felt right. And I’m glad I listened to my truth and kept walking. Maybe this is helpful to you. Maybe you’re going out of your way to look unbothered to someone who could really care less. No matter what you do/don’t do, they still don’t like you, so maybe it’s time to care a little less. Let them think what they want. They’re going to anyway….

Do what empowers you. If it feels good to show up dressed to the nines so they can see you’re doing just fine, do that. And if it feels good to show up in sweats and Crocs to pick up the kids from your ex (because you just don’t care enough about their opinion to go out your way), do that. For me, turning my back and walking away rather than doing a polite smirk and wave felt like a mic drop and standing ovation, so I did that.

You do you. I gladly did me, today, and I hope my story empowers you.

BTW…. if you’re wondering about the leggings…. check out today’s #podcast. The title is, “Vicky’s Secret is Out.” You can listen to it here….