Last month, I posted a blog every day. It was an awesome challenge for me because it is EXTREMELY difficult for me to do something consistently for a WEEK, much less a month. I am super proud of myself for sticking with it, even when I didn’t feel like it. I am proud of myself for writing quite a few new blog posts during the 30 days, when I gave myself the out to post old ones. And I am proud of myself for keeping my word… to myself… which mattered most of all.
For the month of May, I gave myself a new challenge. And when I say a “challenge,” I mean a what-the-heck-was-I-thinking-this-is-bananas-and-way-too-scary-O-M-G kinda challenge.
So I’ve alluded to this thing for years, here and there in blog posts and an occasional random IG post that I am songwriter…. well a closet songwriter. I receives songs in my dreams. I wake up, record the hooks, verses, choruses, melodies, etc. then I go back to sleep. I typically don’t double back to even listen to them because hearing my own voice is awkward and weird and I tend to over critique myself.
Anywho, during my April of daily blogging I began to wonder what I would do when May arrived. A fleeting thought of sharing my music daily crossed my mind, but I quickly batted that thought away, because I would never do that.
However, I am also trying to dramatically change the results I’m getting in my life so doing something I’d never do sounded like the thing to do.
For the longest time, I’d have an idea, put myself out there, not get the “right” feedback, and then put myself back into hiding and stick with what I’m known for or just something safer. I think that each time I kinda stuck my toe in the water, I was hoping for someone to say or do something that gave me permission to step fully into my gift(s). What I realized recently is that everyone is doing their own thing and really committed to following their path and that although some people do get saved (not the Christian way), that to date I am not one of those people. I am a person who has to carve my own path, pull myself up and out of life’s wells. I have to find my own way back home. No matter how many times it’s looked like it, no one is coming to save me. (Real empowering, Marlene. ) ijs
Sooo…. one of my dreams has been to be a songwriter. I have tried over the years to learn software and learn to play the keyboard, learn to use recording apps and so on. And it’s been a really uphill waste of time. I still can’t do that crap well. And people with an income different that mine would say, “Just hire someone to do it.” Yeah. That’s not in the budget… AND I am tired of not making progress on my dream.
So I decided to start where I can. One of my biggest obstacles to being a songwriter is that I’m terrified to let people hear me sing or hear the rough recordings that I’ve made. That’s something I can work on. That’s where my “I May” Challenge was born.
Like I stated before, I have been waiting (in vain) for someone to give me permission to step into my role as a songwriter. It was as if I was putting out a little something here and there with the question, “May I please share my gift?” So I decided for the month of may to stop asking and give myself permission. So I labeled this month “I May” as in “I may share my gift.” I’m no longer waiting for permission.
So for the entire month of may I am challenging myself to share my music EVERY DAY. I have been writing snippets and pieces of songs for years—a chorus here, a verse there, some lyrics one day, a melody the next. I have been recording these snippets for years. I know that I have enough song fragments to post something every single day. And the challenge for me will be to: actually do it, overcome the self-criticism to hit “Post,” and to re-record any pieces that I feel I need to in order to ensure I have a daily post this whole month.
I’m not sharing these for critique. I’m sharing these as an act of bravery. And I’m sharing these to honor myself… my gift… that I have been wanting to do something with for over a decade. I’m tired of waiting for the perfect time to start, for the perfect support to help me, and for the fully completed compositions to magically be created before I grant myself permission to feel safe to share.
I’m doing it without feeling safe. I’m doing it because I cannot take it any more that I am still not sharing my music. I sing ALL DAY. I write songs ALL DAY. There is absolutely no reason for me to not be consistently and intentionally creating music. It matters too much to me.
So there you have it. Every day this month, I will post a song snippet…. whatever I have done so far on that piece. It will be vocals only because I’m not waiting til I have the skills. I’m putting it out as is and if you come across one of those posts, please give me a for the bravery alone. If you don’t like the song or have nothing positive to say (as always) please move along. When someone is trying, let’s be encouraging or silent.
So although I already (grudgingly) shared my I May Challenge Day 3 song in a separate post, I will leave the link below. Again, positive comments or silence. Thank you so much.
Geez, why I do this to myself. I guess that’s what it means to live a #LifeofYes.
BTW Maybe there’s something you’ve been wanting to do forever but never granted yourself permission. If it’s not hurting anybody else and it is a way to show love and honor to yourself and your dreams, maybe you want to join me with your own “I May” Challenge. I’d love to hear about it. We’re only 3 days in. You could even do it for just a week or 2 or 21 days. You can add the tag #IMAYCHALLENGE if you choose to join in.
Here’s to giving ourselves permission to be all we desire to be.
Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist
Ummm….. here are the songs I’ve shared so far….
- “I May” Challenge Day 1 Song by Marlene Dillon
- “I May” Challenge Day 2 Song by Marlene Dillon
- “I May” Challenge Day 3 Song by Marlene Dillon
- “I May” Challenge Day 4 Song by Marlene Dillon
- “I May” Challenge Day 5 Song by Marlene Dillon
- “I May” Challenge Day 6 Song by Marlene Dillon
- “I May” Challenge Day 7 Song by Marlene Dillon
- “I May” Challenge Day 8 Song by Marlene Dillon
- “I May” Challenge Day 9 Song by Marlene Dillon
- “I May” Challenge Day 10 Song by Marlene Dillon
- “I May” Challenge Day 11 Song by Marlene Dillon
- “I May” Challenge Day 12 Song by Marlene Dillon
- “I May” Challenge Day 13 Song by Marlene Dillon
At some point, the daily posts changed from being just songs to a beautiful new podcast! I chose to name it simply #IMAYCHALLENGE Songwriting Journey w/ Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist. It’s about being my witness as I overcome fears and pasts beliefs and become more authentically me. It’s a conversation between me and you, as I share my stories and song for the day. I believe you’ll find it entertaining and empowering. A great companion for your commute.
Use the button below to check out the rest of the posts from this awesome challenge! I’m so proud of myself for doing this. Thank you for your support.
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You can also send Marlene a secure gift online via BuyMeaCoffee.
BuyMeaCoffee is a simple and secure way to support your favorite artists. It’s the equivalent of saying, “That was awesome! Here’s $5. Buy yourself a cup of coffee.” Since Marlene loves to drink matcha, you can use the button below to send her a cup of matcha and a note of appreciation. She’ll be so excited!