Biggest lesson this year…..
When we set goals outside our comfort zones, the bulk of the work may be internal, rather than external. I, of course, wish I learned this sooner, but I’m glad I figured it out while I still have two months left in this year.
I set some big goals this year. And I’m not on target. I didn’t take into account the twists and turns of life showing up again this year. And, honestly, I didn’t consider how the way my mind works, as well as, the deep inner beliefs that needed to shift in order for this year to end differently than last.
By simple awareness, this year has been huge in coming to understand all the ways being neurodivergent impacts my forward progress. I got to see ADHD show up in so many ways, as well as other things I deal with. This awareness is huge toward gaining more control of my life, even if I wish it didn’t take a year to see it. But, given that I went a good 40 years unaware of it, I guess that time was a blessing. (It would be awesome if this awareness now means that I am no longer responsible for finding ways to still get things done, or that I was suddenly going to have help getting through life. Well, to my knowledge, that’s not how life works (well, at least not for me).
So my work now is to note how achieving my current goals has been impacted by how my mind works, as well as, how the old stories, working in the background of my mind, are encouraging/discouraging me regarding what’s possible and how things work out for me. I get to us that knowledge to heal and work around my mind.
I get to create strategies with more steps. I get to shift my focus toward accomplishing the intentions of my goals, if not the specifics. I get to take pressure off myself and focus on inner healing knowing long term this will shift things to allow me to be more successful moving forward. I get to think about the memories that show up as I’m working, and make note of the ones that discourage me. I can sit with them and look at those memories with adult eyes. I can work through them with my inner child, reframing those old stories, and their messages, so they no longer get in my way.
And, of course, there is the practical work itself. I’ll get to that. It will be a natural next step on the journey once I clear these mental boulders. I’m on the right path. My journey is my own. And like I say all the time, “It takes as long as it takes.”
I’m sharing this with you because maybe you can relate, or maybe someone in your life can relate. We can be so hard on ourselves, and our loved ones, for not making progress at the rate we desire. We judge and berate and get frustrated. We rarely take the time to see what’s in the way. We Yes. That needs to be done. Often, though, the practical work is the simplest part. It’s the thoughts, beliefs, and negative expectations that get in the way, so I’ve decided to pivot and address those so I can finish this year feeling proud of my progress… even if it’s primarily internal.
Blessings!
Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist
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