We often avoid uncomfortable conversations in relationships, but it’s actually counterproductive. When there is love, mutual respect, and a desire to grow in understanding, having initially awkward conversations can lead to deeper connection and intimacy.
When we let issues fester, we leave room for resentment and unhelpful assumptions to grow and poison the beauty of the relationship. If things go unaddressed long enough, we may change the way we view the person and eventually end the relationship, without the other person ever receiving an opportunity to address or correct the problem.
So many relationships end over misunderstandings that could have been addressed, healed, and put in the past. For me, as soon as I am able to articulate what’s happening, AND I ensure that the issue is not with me but with the other person, I approach the conversation.
It’s important when sharing to state the facts and how it makes you feel. It is also helpful to let the person know that you believe the best in them, and that given that you don’t understand what is happening. In this way, you DO NOT ACCUSE the person of something that is merely an assumption in your mind, based on your limited perspective/information. It allows the other person to follow your way of thinking without being offended by an accusation.
I have had many of these conversations over the years and I realize that in the healthy relationships, these convos led to more understanding and deeper connection.
Of course, with the best intentions, I have experienced conversations that turned into arguments, as the other person became defensive and accusatory. However, if I came from a place of love, respect, stating facts only, and how it made me feel, and I was received in this negative manner, the issue is with the other person and not me. I can wash my hands of that situation (and likely that relationship) knowing that I did nothing wrong in standing up for myself and showing love as I did so.
I will tell you, though, that in all the healthy relationships, the conversations led to deeper connection and healing. In the relationships that I discovered later were narcissistic and codependent, the responses were the opposite. No one should have to “walk on eggshells” and all but worship the other person as flawless in order to maintain peace. If that is the case in your relationship, it might be worth checking out my blog post & podcast on narcissistic relationships here.
Anywho, check out today’s podcast (above and below) to gain a more thorough understanding of what I’ve discussed here.
Have an amazing whatever time of day it is where you are.
Blessings!
Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist
Listen on SoundCloud!
MDillon Designs & Publishing 