This is not going to be a spiritual or religious post. Just letting you know from now.
Today, I woke up from a dream with the question, “If today was your last day, how would you live it?” Each time I think of the question, I rephrase it in my mind but this concept is what guided my day, and I’m so grateful.
This post is really about how we show up differently in our lives when we believe we have time. The last few weeks I have had to deal with back to back losses of important people in my life. One who was very present and one who may not have known how special she was to me.
Having these experiences, coupled with others over the years, really impacted me in a way that has challenged me to begin living my life as if one day I’ll have to leave this place.
Today, I shared on my podcast that when I woke up with this question, I began to really think about the things I’ve been putting off that I could make happen today. There are things that I needed today that I was going without because I was trying to put money aside for another day. And I don’t mean putting off buying a Rolex or a yacht. I mean, not buying shoes, even though the ones I’m currently wearing, that I wear every day have holes in them, because I want to make sure I have enough money for a bill that’s due in two weeks.
As much as it is a responsible thing to learn to “delay gratification,” I deserve to have decent comfortable shoes to wear, and these are currently my only pair. Between now and two weeks anything can happen, but today, I need shoes. It’s those kinds of decisions that I thought about…. things I’ve been putting off for some future date with the assumption I’ll be here. But lately, I’ve been seeing that tomorrow is not promised.
Now, I’m not over here planning my funeral or anything. I’m just realizing how much time I spend worrying incessantly. I have probably given at least a third of my life to worrying. I don’t even think that’s an overstatement… okay maybe a fourth. It has been so constant with me. Over the last few days I decided to start to pay attention to what I’m thinking about, and to refocus when I find myself worrying or focusing on doubts.
If today was my last day, I don’t want to have spent most of it in the house worrying. I want to spend it having fun with my daughter. I want to spend it creating something toward my legacy—something that will live on after me. I want to spend it reaching out to the people who matter to me, and letting them know that I care.
I wrote this post for you because maybe you are spending your time, rather than investing it. Maybe you find your days are filled with a lot of what doesn’t matter to you and that you wake up and go to bed day after day without investing any time in what lights you up, what brings you joy, in making memories that will last.
I’ve given so much of my life to fear. For the rest of my life, I want to invest more time in love—in doing what I love, for who I love, with who love…. I want to create a life that feels good most of the time and to do it now. I want to invest my time in creating moments and memories that make me smile, and in remembering memories that bring joy to my soul.
We’ve given so much time to what doesn’t feel good…. to just existing. Aren’t you ready to live?
Blessings.
Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist
MDillon Designs & Publishing 