A haiku-inspired poem by Marlene Dillon
So every once in awhile, to get ideas out of my head, I will write in the style of haiku (my loose version of it, that is).
It works well for me to get clear when I need to clear my mind. I basically write in short phrases, lines that are five syllables, then seven syllables, then five syllables per stanza (or whatever they’re called).
The rigidity of the format forces me to get to the point, and helps me get the idea out of my head without all the clutter.
Today I recognize the pattern in me. I really do go above and beyond for the people I love… until I hit that point where: I realize it’s not reciprocated, I realize they are getting over on me, or I realize that doing all I’m doing is off no benefit because they don’t really care.
I don’t have to make it personal. I don’t even have to feel bad about it, or embarrassed for how long I did it. It’s just me. I’m wired that way. I want the people I love to win and if I can support them in doing so more than likely that’s what I’m going to do… until you give me a reason to stop.
I’ve been here before with exes and friends and situationships. I’ve been here with family, too. It’s just my way… or my habit of being. AND when I realize it’s pointless, I’m done. No love lost.
A few days ago I was thinking and mindset had shifted about some things. My thought was, “It’s F*ck It February,” and it stuck with me. February is my birth month and there’s a certain level of I’m going to do what I want that naturally comes with this month for me.
So today I just decided I don’t care. I’m not going to do all that I usually do. I’m just going to do what’s in my best interest today, recognizing that other people are gonna do the same. And that’s okay. They have a right.
I think we exhaust ourselves doing the most for people because that’s who we are and that’s how we want you to show up for us but we know who actually would do that stuff for us and more often than not it’s not the people that we will go and bend over backwards for. So we get to decide if we’re going to invest in that level of effort into people that would not do that for us. It’s our choice. And if we want to continue to do it because we’re not doing it for the reciprocity, then we get to do that. It’s our choice.
And today I chose to NOT do it… AND to not feel bad about it… AND to not hold it against them.
That’s the hard part, cuz you want people to treat you the way you treat them. But we can’t expect us from other people. We are specially and specifically anointed, gifted, skilled, called, and conditioned to do things the way we do it. And that’s okay.
Anyway, I thought I’d share something different with you today. I hope you got the message.
Thanks for being here. Look around check out the rest of the site.
Blessings!
Marlene Dillon Empowerment Specialist
MDillon Designs & Publishing 